I know Plan Nine is touted as the worst film of all time, but let's be honest, it's a fun flick, laughable in its awfulness. Acting stinks, sets cheap, editing atrocious, but these all add to its overall charm.
What I wanna know is what is the WORST horror movie you have ever seen, sat through to the very end and wished you never had, the one you wish you could burn all copies of, made you gargle with kerosene afterward. In other words, the Bottom of the Barrel.
"Breeders".
Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, what an AWFUL film! I saw it back in the late 80's when I was an undiscriminating video viewer with very little taste, and even then I considered it to be abysmal.
Did I say how bad it was? Ugh!
A Night To Dismember.
I can not stress enough that all lovers of B-Horror movies should seek this out on DVD...HILARIOUS (possibly the funniest ever) commentary from the director and her director of photography. It's from the 1980s...I can't even describe what it's about. The director lost a good percentage of her film due to a vindictive photolab worker and tried to create a movie out of what was left. It's so so so awfully bad that it's indescribable.
Night of Horror. I watched this right after watching a documentary about the Sex Pistols, and my reactions to this film were identical to how Sid Vicious described heroin withdrawals.
My personal pick is "Adrenalin: Fear the rush" (and no, the typo in the title is not mine). It is an Albert Pyun Film (!) starring Natsha Henstridge and Christopher Lambert. I'll only add that it only lasts 75' but I whished it was even shorter. Oh, and the plot makes no sense at all, but I imagine you already expected that from Albert Pyun.
Revenge of the Dead, also known as Zeder.
I have said this before and I will say it again: the worst movie, of any kind, of all time, that I have ever seen in my whole miserable life is (drum roll please) . . .
THE CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN
It is on a double feature DVD from Something Weird Video. The other movie on the DVD is CARNIVAL OF BLOOD, which is also quite bad . . . but Burt Young from the Rocky movies is in it (using a different name in the credits). He plays a carnival worker named Gimpy.
Anyway, CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN is so cheap, boring and miserable that you will not believe your eyes. The dialogue STINKS, the acting STINKS (it looks like the director gathered a bunch of his friends together on a Saturday and they shot the whole thing in a day) . . . everything is completely fake . . . there are some shootouts that are completely ridiculous. They look about as realistic as a bunch of kids playing cowboy and shooting each other with their fingers.
This movie is TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE. I encourage each and every one of you to watch it. You cannot possibly understand how painful this movie is (in EVERY WAY) unless you see it for yourself. My guess is that you will watch it for MAYBE 15 minutes and then turn it off. (I suffered through the whole thing).
I may even have to watch it again this weekend to remind myself of how GOD AWFUL this movie is.
AAAAAHHHH!!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Post Edited (05-23-03 10:43)
'the dead hate the living'
i think that's what it was called. man was that a bad idea.
(it looks like the director gathered a bunch of his friends together on a Saturday and they shot the whole thing in a day) .
speaking of which, I was going to offer "Forever Evil" as a nomination :)
The Dead Hate the Living was more mediocre bad, but I agree, it sucked.
I don't advise anyone to watch Revenge of the Dead unless they're suffering from insomnia.
Carnivore. Definitely Carnivore, without a doubt. Especially after I found out that it took them something like ten years to release it. The only redeeming factor of the movie was mullets, and the look on my friend's face after he watched the whole thing, having purchased it from Walmart for $5.88. That almost made it worth it right there. Then I went into convulsions after thinking about how bad the movie was.
Nick
Well, since we seem to be talking about Horror Films that were UN-enjoyably bad, as opposed to the Bad Ones we LOVE to sit through, I would have to say Andy Milligan's movie BLOOD, in which the son of the wolfman and the daughter of Dracula settle down together to cultivate man-eating plants in their basement. It sounds like a schlock classic, but in reality it's arduous to sit through and you have to be a REAL movie masochist just to make it to the end.
I'd say the ONE movie that has made me want to turn it off before it was over was "I Eat Your Skin" I mean after about 15 minutes I just shut off that tape and returned right by to "HollyWood Video" and I ran home laughing out of joy.
-the first rule of fat club-
Hahaha....I have this double feature DVD as well. I love watching "Carnival of Blood" because there's so much intentional hilarity going on (the touching scene at the bad guy's apartment with him and Gimpy, the fat lady cutting in line at the concession stand, ect). There's nothing fun about 'Curse of the Headless Horseman' though....It was a challenge to sit through it once. I honestly don't know if I could do it again. It comes off like an episode of 'Scooby Doo'.
Three words - Edge of Sanity.
Return of the Living Dead Part 2 runs a close second.
HA
2 movies share the title of movies that have come from the drek of humanity.
AMERICAN PSYCHO
and
DARKNESS FALLS
my god will the horror never end
Chadzilla wrote:
"Three words - Edge of Sanity."
No, no, no, no, no. You don't understand. You will EMBRACE "Edge of Sanity" after you watch "Curse of the Headless Horseman." You will consider "Edge of Sanity" to be a marvel of modern filmmaking. Trust me.
"Headless Horseman" had NO BUSINESS being distributed on DVD. In fact, it had NO BUSINESS being filmed in the first place. This is amateurish, boring, cheap, rotten-to-the-core movie-making. There is not ONE SCENE . . . not ONE MOMENT in this movie that shows even the slightest degree of talent. It has absolutely (and I mean ABSOLUTELY) no entertainment value whatsoever. It's like the director set up the camera in front of a bunch of people, turned it on, and said, "okay, everyone walk around and talk and do stuff . . . I don't care where you go or what you say or what you do . . . just keep doing it until we run out of film."
And this goes on for about 80 minutes!
They should change the title to "Curse of the Poor Son-of-a-b***h Who Tries to Watch this Movie."
Post Edited (05-23-03 15:36)
My current list of REAL bad movies includes
* Dracula v. Frankenstien - There are three movies by this name. I have only seen two: the Michael Rennie/Paul Naschy clunker (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0064687) and Al Adamson's (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0067017) piece of... well, you know. Both are boring beyond belief.
* American Werewolf in Paris - But only because I paid good money to see it in the theater.
* It's Alive (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0063145) - Not the Killer Baby one, mind you; the other one. I'm still watching that one. The set is off, silence surrounds me, and I'm still watching that movie!
May the heavens have mercy upon me.
your crazy (or not crazy) - 'american psycho' OWNS. it's not a horror movie more than it is a comedy.
Hands down The Haunting(with Catherine Zeta-Jones).Worst horror movie ever.
Cullen,
The 3rd DRACULA VS FRANKENSTEIN movie is also known as DRACULA, PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN and as THE SCREAMING DEAD (NOT Curse of the Screaming Dead, which is another movie!)
It was by Jess Franco and is available on video. (No idea about DVD, though)
Good to see another fan of the Paul Naschy/Michael Rennie film, though. I first saw it as ASSIGNMENT TERROR on late-night T.V. in the 70's. It was my introduction to Naschy's movies.
Dracula VS Frankestein,huh?
And who wins?
Damn! I forgot to change the subject to catch Cullen's eye just in case he wasn't aware of the alternate titles of the third Dracula vs Frankenstein movie.
Just see my post just up above of Hell, I'll mention them again: DRACULA, PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN and THE SCREAMING DEAD (NOT Curse of the Screaming Dead)
The House That Vanished. Or the Fast and the Furious. You're all real surprised I said that, huh? Because I've never ever mentioned either of those movies being totally vomitous before, have I?
Brother R
The Fast And The Furious isn´t a horror movie!
it'd devotees could be in a horror movie though.
'night of the compact car modifying zombies'
For me, this usually depends on which movie I have watched most recently that hurt me. Anyway, I can nominate a couple:
Alien Predators
Inn of the Damned
Mongrel
Bog
Pigs
Thanks, Feathertop! I knew of it before, just haven't seen it (yet, he adds mournfully)
_________________________________
FEAST - a cannibalism/soft core cheapie starring porn actress Sharon Mitchell. Wants to be a black comedy at parts, but it has such a seedy air to it you need a shower afterward. Even a bit part by a clearly hungover William Smith, can't add any charm to this one. Gorehounds might like it, since it looks like most of the money went for the effects
I went into blockbuster a few years ago and asked the rep for the worst movie they had in the store. He promptly went to the horror section and came back with ZOMBIE COP. I could actually feel my brain cells melting when I started this movie, I couldn't even finish it; it was so bad. Shot on a home movie camera, ripping off every other movie known to man, etc.......
BADBADBAD!
2 of them
Dracula Sucks, the cut version of a hardcore porn film where Dracula kills a guy by choking him with his..ahem..."stake"
and
Orgy of the Dead. dear lord, i curled into a ball on the floor and BEGGED my friend to turn it off.
SATAN'S STORYBOOK! You can look up my posts on this one. I cannot warn enough people on this. My wife is still on a search for this film and I pray evey day that she will never find it. If you find this film at your local video store take it up to the clerk and proceed to smash it on the counter.
The worst movie I ever saw was "Deep End of The Ocean". My wife and I went to the movies with a friend of hers, and this is what she wanted to see. It was HORRIBLE. Like a bad Lifetime movie. Horrible acting and boring story. I even saw the boom in a few shots.
I second the nomination of Alien Predators. I watched up to where the cow with blood painted around its eyes stood in the road and "horror" took place, and then I stopped. I haven't touched it since.
Scottie
Oh, yeah Orgy of the Dead. Before I saw this, I never knew that a movie full of topless women could be so excruciatingly boring.
Also Death's Head Virgin. Truly dullsville. At least Orgy has topless women.
And Witchcraft 5 (or 6, it is the one with Julie Strain-- she's the best actor in this movie, there's only the barest bit of continuity to the earlier ones in the series. I think it goes up to 10 or 11 now, but I lost interest after this one .)
Robo C.H.I.C.
If Peter Johnson or Andrew read this, they may be able to sympathize with me (though Peter played a character in it), Andrew writhed through it the same way I have numerous times. His review on this site is dead on. The world would be a better place if a meteor had smashed the filming studio to bits before this could be converted to tape. It's a myth I carry that I can't touch the movie with open skin, Protective clothing must be worn to handle this movie. It will burn you.
Scottie
Scott0 wrote:
> Robo C.H.I.C.
>
> If Peter Johnson or Andrew read this, they may be able to
> sympathize with me (though Peter played a character in it),
> Andrew writhed through it the same way I have numerous times.
> His review on this site is dead on. The world would be a
> better place if a meteor had smashed the filming studio to bits
> before this could be converted to tape. It's a myth I carry
> that I can't touch the movie with open skin, Protective
> clothing must be worn to handle this movie. It will burn you.
I think that some form of mental protective mechanism made me forget this - ah - thing. "Increase entropy on the side of good." Years later, it still does not make sense. My head! Arrggghhh!
Two worst movies I've sat through;
Boarding House - Looks like they decided to make a movie because someone they knew owned a camcorder.
Voodoo Mardi Gras - I swear some guy found a porno being filmed and asked the cast & crew, "When you get done here, how'd you like to make a horror movie?"
Another one. How could I forget ... "ZOLTAN - HOUND OF DRACULA". About a vampire dog that tries to track down Dracula's last descendant in the USA, turning other dogs into vampires en route ... Gee, I'd love to have been a fly on the wall at the meeting where it was pitched. What on earth had those chaps been snorting?
Tremors! I hate that movie so bad! They seem to play it on tv now every weekend! And a close second was "message from space"
Hera: purple devil goddess
Ow! just typing the title hurts!
Windigo sucked mightally
Agreed. A Night to Dismember is unique in it's awfulness.
I have to say that I disagree, it's not Andy Milligan's worst picture. I was able to obtain BLOOD from a rare video-inch bootleg and while the pictue quality is poor (God, I really wish Something Weird Video would find a 35mm print or the original negative of this baby), the color wasn't bad and I could make out what's going on.
Anyways, back to the film. I thought it had a great concept (i.e., Dracula's daughter marring the Wolfman's son, raising carnivorous plants), and for what it is it is all part of the pulp imagination. Yet, without any of Milligan's typical sleeze that you can find in his other flicks THE GHASTLY ONES (1967) or BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS (1970), BLOOD does indeed fall short when it comes to gore or nudity.
Even so, if you want to see Andy at his best (and I do mean HIS BEST) get a copy of THE BODY BENEATH (1971) from Something Weird Video on either VHS or DVD.
To each their own, I guess. My wife and friends and I found this almost unwatchable (and we LOVE bad movies!).
I was disappointed at how boring the movie was after being convinced that a movie with such a wonderful premise had to be a Classic Turkey.
It was similar to what I felt when I watched DR JEKYLL'S DUNGEON OF DEATH (I know that's not a Milligan movie, but it was another film where the premise had me practically drooling but the film itself proved disappointing.)
I can relate to some of what you say, though, since I think the movie THE CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN is a Bad Movie Gem, yet someone else on this thread hated it.
I found these films extremely bad/boring
Frankensteins Castle of Freaks
The Dead Hate the Living
They Saved Hitlers Brain
The 2-Headed Transplant
Doctor Bloods Coffin
Howard the Duck
Battlefield Earth
I agree that THEY SAVED HITLER'S BRAIN is truly one of the ones from the very bottom. I've never even found it ENJOYABLY bad, just plain bad! Most of it bores me to tears (and I usually LOVE bad black and white movies from that time period!) and the only part I laugh at is when Hitler's head is barking out orders to his driver like it's some sort of bizarre parody of DRIVING MISS DAISY.
Are you all not forgetting...
STAR CRYSTAL?
I remember when I announced I was going to watch it and post a short review (back when every weekend I'd rent three movies and post reviews of them) and andrew posted "I wouldn't be surprised if we never see this guy again"
Actually Its one of my guilty pleasures now. The ending is SO BAD!
If there was ever a better movie about a bible-reading-future-chess-playing alien I have yet to see it.
"The Worm Eaters" is kind of a comedy/horror movie (one that's not very funny), so I can technically rank it as the worst horror movie ever (no, the worst MOVIE ever!)