If I revealed my true indenity here I'd never hear the end of it from my agent,but sometimes I just have to be honest and let peaseants like you all know how foolish you all truly are. Ever since I was child,I knew I was a cut above the rest. My charm,personality and good looks always made me a favorite among the ladies. I knew one day that my irristible personality and stunning good looks would make me rich as a model and actor. It is very important that you all work long hours and pay 9 bucks to see my movies so I can travel the world and eat fine cuizine and entertain beautiful ladies and drive a car that costs more then you people make in 5 yrs. When I sign autographs,I always act flattered that people worship the ground I walk on,but the truth is that I could care less about you and wouldn't remember you if I saw you 5 minutes later,unless you or your wife if a hot babe,if she's good in the sack I might remember her for a while. Shows like entertainment tonight claim people like me "work" hard,but the fact of the matter was that I've seen kids work harder to star in a school play,I "work" a few months a year,because if I worked more I wouldn't have time to enjoy all the money you "working class" people give me. Sometimes I really wonder how many wome think of me when they're having sex with their everyday joe husband? So you all have to work at your lame,boring jobs while I enjoy the life-style of the rich and famous. I was meant to live large!
It's nice to finally meet you FamousActorDude. I've seen all your movies, and I've bought all the memorbilia. I even dressed up like you for Halloween one year when you played that role in FamousMovie. I've always been a big fan, and I hope you keep on doing what you're doing. You are my idol FamousActorDude. Us joe wokers wouldn't have anybody to look up to except our harder working co-workers without someone like you to guide us to the movies.
Scott
Thanks scotto,your money rules. Remember fan is short for fanatic,and fanatics are sopposed to spend all their money and do anything to make idols happy. If you posses my autograph you owe memoney anyway,I used to make people pay 500 bucks for my autograph,or if I didn't feel like being bothered I'd just spit on them,but my agent told me I'd make millions more dollars if I acted nice to you "middle class" people. Every time I go cruisin in my limo and go clubbin' it and go paint the town red wipin' my ass with $100 bills,I think about how great everyones money is.
Dear Agent: It has come to our attention that FamousActorDude has now featured in 10 films that have failed to gross sufficient to cover overheads, capital depreciation, taxes, etc., etc.
He is now fired.
Further to that, to cover corporate ass in this company, he is blackballed. Also, we want the mansion, car, helicopter and boat back (see attached bailiff schedule).
We suggest you refer FamousActorDude to the DTV film agency, since this is where he will appear in occasional cameos from now on.
Have a nice day.
Dear Suicide hotline legal dept.
Due to the fact that my client, Famousactordude, called your service several times, and was given substandard treatment, including the accusation that he was mearly a ,quote"smartass pretending to be famousactorperson", and that he should, "Just go sober up, and get off the line",unquote, my firm has no choice but to bill your orginisation for the funeral expenses,publicity expences, and the cost of extracting my late client from the tip of the xmas tree in front of the Exselsior Hotel, from whos balcony he jumped.
Their legal firm will be contacting you shortly,seperatly.
Cordualy,yours: Morrius Sline, Attourney at Law.
Sline, Ball and Chainey,
Somebody please toss me a rope, its neck high in bulls**t in here...
I guess I'm very famous, too... Around the message board they know me as Damien01... But I dont need to talk about the fast cars and the faster women and millions of dollars that I havent seen as of yet... :D
PS... If you ever notice the best actors dont take the money to there heads because they been poor at one time... and any actor around the time before "Direct to vidoes" could tell stories on how broke they wore and had to work in such bad places like Hollywood Squares... :D
Hello, George Clooney.
Wow. That was an interesting bit of public masturbation... Congradulations on your successful career. With your attitude, I figure you'l be there for two, maybe three years before you breach studio contract and get blacklisted.
How about those Cubs, huh? Can you believe the're actually having a winning season?
His charm, personality, good looks, and godawful grasp of the English language always make him a favorite with the ladies...must be Keanu Reeves.
Brother R
Who cares if I get no more good roles? Thanks to suckers around the world who consider me to be Godsize,I already have enough money to live like a king. Unless I go on another herion and crack binge,but then I got a reason to get back on shows like entertainment tonight and tell my "sad" story about how "depressed" I was and everyone will give me credit for being strong at such a tough time in my life. If that doesn't work,I can just take a stance on contraversial political issues I don't know nothing about,that's always a surefire way to get your face in the spotlight. That's how you can tell a fine actor,in all situations I know how to create an atmosphere that always makes Me the center of attention,and I get paid to show off!
>Remember fan is short for fanatic,and fanatics
And a fanatic is just one step away from being a stalker. Just think, someone out there has a bullet with your name on it...
*A hem* thans for catching my mistake... I hate being wrong*, what I meant to say was
Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Downey Jr. has graced our board (the heroin tipped it off)
Post Edited (06-03-03 10:29)
it can't possibly be my sweet, sweet Keanu.
say it ain't so Brother R!
Evan3, could it be Connick? did he do heroin? i thought for sure it was Robert Downey, Jr.
interestingly enough, a while back someone graced the Sinfest forums claiming to be P. Diddy. maybe Mr. Diddy's charade inspired ThisHereGuy to visit us.
FAD, i'm sure i have seen at least one of your movies. i'm also sure that a) it sucked, b) your makeup did little to hide your sallow complexion, track marks, and terrible acne, and c) your female costar was faking it in the trailer after the wrap party.
Post Edited (06-03-03 12:58)
There's one thing I forgot to tell all My fans. I hear some of you have been turned away on opening weekend because My film is sold out,but don't worry. I hear that some of the big hollywood production companys have been sending some suits out to scope out the theatres and I hear they say that the seats are way too big and there's enough leg room for some geek that's 6'5. What I think they should do is take out half the seats and let people stand like at a concert. People that want t sit and take up the space of 3 people should pay triple the price. Then people can stand are cheer me like they all want to. The days of of quietly watching a movie are over,people want explosively insanely intense dramatic action,and the concert atmosphere will just add to all the excitement,but most of all,I'll have more money that way. The theatre's can pay for this by raising the price of popcorn and soft drinks.
Hey, FAD, know what? I almost never go to the theater (I think the last thing I went to see was Jurassic Park III), and I don't rent videos or buy movies. I wait until they show up on cable. So you basically get $0.00 from me. Which is ok with me, because I think most actors are overpaid, conceited jerks anyway. Maybe if the studios didn't have to pay the 'stars' $10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 every time they showed up on the set, they could put that money into the film itself and make something that's actually worth watching.
You know, I have to wonder.
I've been wanting to ask this question for a good long while, and you seem to be just trollish enough to answer FAD, so tell me...
How, exactly, does one derive pleasure from trolling? Seriously, are you so bent, lonely, and pathetisad that this is how you spend your time? Posting inflamitory comments on otherwise intelligent message boards?
FAD, if this is how you get your kicks, you are, indeed, one of the saddest excuses for a human being I have ever encountered. You, and all who know you, have my pity.
As big a fan I am of Jean-Claude Van Damme, I can just imagine him typing this message with two fingers at his computer at home. I know I'm feeding the troll, but imagining this just cracks me up. But it's probably just me, so.. nevermind.
Nick