Hey,
Every now and then, I wonder how well I would fare in a horror movie, either vs. monster or slasher (I always think I would do better in a slasher, but thats just me).
In fact I always thought it would be cool for a car full of my friends to break down and we go in the woods searching for help (all of my friends disagree, and yes, I may be a little odd)
Now I think I would do much of the same things we see in movies, while I normally wouldnt run up the stairs, I would certainly go anywhere to get away if the psycho was on my back. Plus, high ground is easier to defend, especially if there is one staircase only (just keep the damn windows locked, you can still get out easily, but they will have to obviously break a window to get in).
Second I would probably have sex. Sex is a stress reliever as well as enjoyable, now I suspect most guys would agree with me, that they would want sex (with their wives, gf if they have one) at least one more time before they die. If I were in the Blair Witch Project, miserably hiding in the tent with that girl, I am sorry, but I would probably make the move to relieve tension. I hear doctors in Africa screw around all the time.
Third, I suppose I would look to see what was behind a door, wall, etc. ONLY if I knew something were after me. When I hear a random noise in my house, I generally dont check it out. However if I knew some scary beast were fllowing me, I would definitely rather know where it is, instead of randomly waiting for it
I would never tell us to split up though, safety in numbers. That is just a truly awful idea.
So how do you guys think you would do in a real horror movie situation?
If I was in a horror movie I'd be the director :) as long as the director wasn't roman polanski, Paul W.S Anderson, Joel schumacher or victor salva.
I got that same feeling watching Dead Alive-- Locking the zombies in the basement and trying to ignore them is pretty much exactly how I'd probably handle that situation.
Vermin Boy wrote:
> I got that same feeling watching Dead Alive-- Locking the
> zombies in the basement and trying to ignore them is pretty
> much exactly how I'd probably handle that situation.
>
>
Hahaha, I dunno, it didnt work well in The Evil Dead
I have this conversation often enough too, but most of my friends agree with me. First order of business - find weapons. Arm yourself to the teeth. This all depends on the availability, of course. A Dawn of the Dead situation would be preferable, somewhere with lots of guns, hopefully explosives too.
Sex - definitely, but only if you knew you'd be safe for about 20 minutes or so. There's no point in doing the deed if you can't enjoy it because you have to keep looking over your shoulder to make sure you're not being salivated on.
I also think I'd fare better against a slasher. Anyone would. Even if the idea of a human psycho is more frightening to some, you know their limits. Crazy thought they may be, they are only human and can be disabled and killed like any other. If you're being chased by a ravening hellbeast, you don't know what it's capable of so your chances of survival are lower.
Brother R
With my Chinese Mark1A1 pulse rifle, Colonial Marine body armour, Cobra Assualt Cannon and sonic screwdriver, I would fear naught!
Thinking about the idea of checking behind doors and such, I would improvise some sort of mirror on a stick, if possible. I think the biggest mistake is not looking behind doors, but sticking your head in there for a look. Then, of course, there are the characters who carefully tiptoe into a room, when the killer is standing against the wall behind them. Poke the mirror in there and have a look first.
But don't expect it to help as much if your being hunted by Dracula, or another classic bloodsucker.
And have lots of extras, in case the wee beastie breaks the first one.
Oh yeah....lots of firepower. Ak or SKS, water baloons with kerosine and a flare gun, large cutting tools....you know, the useual...
I've thought about this too. First, I'd try to find a weapon, preferably a gun, but failing that, a knife or something long and heavy, like a pipe. If I were being chased by a human killer, I'd try to get a little distance, get out of sight and set up an ambush. If I shot them and they went down, I'd carefully go over to check, making sure to stay out of their reach and when I got close enough, I'd put at least 2 more bullets into their head. If I had a bat or something like a pipe, I'd smash their skull in. With a knife, I'd cut their head off. Once a killer goes down, they're not getting back up.
No splitting up, No looking for the origin of a strange noise and if I knew there was a killer around, no sex unless it was a locked vault that the killer couldn't possibly break into. If the killer turned out to be some unstaoppable monster, I'd probably find some place to hide and I'd STAY there, not try to sneak out while the thing is 10 feet away and looking in the other direction. Wait until morning when you can see where you're going and, hopefully, when the creature is making itself scarce.
Hadn't considered vampires, but I suppose I'm not a big vampire fan. I must admit I had thought about the monster breaking the mirror, but when it's standing in for my face, even once is helpful.
When it comes to weapons, and I've said this before, how they're used is most important. Shooting monsters and slashers in the chest or head never seems to do much good. Don't go for the organs, do some damage that will inhibit movement. When dealing with an unkillable killer, blast his knees.
Good thinking...go for a mobility kill.
If a zombie has no intact skeleton to hold the otherwise limp meat upright, it becomes a mumbelling mass of muck...yuck!
It scares me, that that thought actualy make sense...in context, of corse....
Always bothered me...all that soft tissue deterioration, and it can still move. My logical mind rebels. A Xanth novel mentioned that, as well....a character wondered how a zombie was able to keep shedding material, and yet not disappear into a pile of goo....see, its not just me!
I think I would like to live... So I would hunt down those bastard killers, and set traps.
If I was with a group of people we would form a lynch mob until we get into safty.
Sex (if I know there is a killer)... well there is a good time and there is a bad time... This has bad time written all over it... its best for me to wait untill the police shows up with body bags and takes the killer away.
Damien01 wrote:
> Sex (if I know there is a killer)... well there is a good time
> and there is a bad time... This has bad time written all over
> it... its best for me to wait untill the police shows up with
> body bags and takes the killer away.
but then the hormones are done flying everywhere.
Not with me... those hormones will be flying right after the killer's dead body is taken away... :D
I dunno, the knowledge that there's a homicidal psychopath in the house is kind of a mood killer for me.
To be perfectly honest if I thought I was about to die I would be too busy to f**k and I definateky cannot perform under that sort of pressure :-)
Most maniac killers would be too easy to deal with if I have some of my normal buddies around. Standard room clearing operations at that point and I would definitely be in the front with either my defender 12-gauge or .45.
I do admit that, faced with a weird killer monster from outer space, I would probably try some inventive solutions if gunfire did not work. Fire, electrocution, household cleaners, and extreme cold are on the list. By the way, extreme cold does not mean a fire extinguisher, it means liquid nitrogen. If only I kept that on hand for emergencies...
Not sure if Andrew's skill wouldn't work against him. In horror movies, soldiers, cops and such seem to have a harder time than anyone. They tend to either go noisily, with guns blazing, or get caught off guard after bragging. The killer/monster's powers also seem to increase with the formal training of the adversary. Cop empties a clip into the killer and gets broken in half, while bookish teenage girl sends the killer falling to his death with a half-assed shove.
AndyC wrote:
> Not sure if Andrew's skill wouldn't work against him. In horror
> movies, soldiers, cops and such seem to have a harder time than
> anyone. They tend to either go noisily, with guns blazing, or
> get caught off guard after bragging. The killer/monster's
> powers also seem to increase with the formal training of the
> adversary. Cop empties a clip into the killer and gets broken
> in half, while bookish teenage girl sends the killer falling to
> his death with a half-assed shove.
>
>
I think I would make sure we have a bookish teenage girl within our group... and that shove... :D
Most maniac killers would be too easy to deal with if I have some of my normal buddies around
Dude, you're a grunt with a wife and newborn kid. You are so toast. By movie logic rules, you might as well make at your Last Will right now
Fearless Freep wrote:
> Most maniac killers would be too easy to deal with if I have
> some of my normal buddies around
>
> Dude, you're a grunt with a wife and newborn kid. You are so
> toast. By movie logic rules, you might as well make at your
> Last Will right now
I had thought of that. The good thing is that I taught Katie how to shoot. In keeping with movie roles, she will avenge my death by blasting the killer to pieces. Or maybe get inventive, like shooting his legs out and then using a big metal press or a lawnmower.
The bookish girl could serve a dual purpose, too. First off, she's the obvious virginal prophecy-fulfilling whatever to stop the monster. Secondly, you KNOW the bookish ones are always by FAR the hottest once their hair is down, so there's the sex bit too.
I'm just glad no one said anything about the killer him/itself getting their hormones going.
Brother R
I had thought of that. The good thing is that I taught Katie how to shoot. In keeping with movie roles, she will avenge my death ...
Ahh...thinking ahead.
'course, I'm a professional computer programmer so I don't think my life expectancy goes past the first reel, either
Nuke it from orbit... That's the only way to be sure.
Standard homocidal maniacs wouldn't last long in the real world, except for the clever ones that actually exist in the real world, but some machette wielding freak on a rampage would get put down pretty quickly. It's the supernatural, death what's that? type of homocidal maniac that's a b***h. I think Andrew's Liquid Nitrogen is the way to go. Molecules at absolute zero DO NOT MOVE! There isn't a single none thermonuclear thing in the universe immune to that sort of cold.
Funk, E. wrote:
> Nuke it from orbit... That's the only way to be sure.
>
> Standard homocidal maniacs wouldn't last long in the real
> world, except for the clever ones that actually exist in the
> real world, but some machette wielding freak on a rampage would
> get put down pretty quickly. It's the supernatural, death
> what's that? type of homocidal maniac that's a b***h. I think
> Andrew's Liquid Nitrogen is the way to go. Molecules at
> absolute zero DO NOT MOVE! There isn't a single none
> thermonuclear thing in the universe immune to that sort of
> cold.
Hey even liquid nitrogen fell short in stopping the T-1000 in Terminator 2.
Also, I always suspect most psycho/ machete wielding killers are hopped up, and that is why guns are so ineffective, If you are wired on speed or something, nothing will slow you down.
Also, Andrew, do you actually know any military types who would actually be as useless in life as they seem to be in movies?? It seems to me most town cops suffer from an overdose of cynicism.
If you are wired on speed or something, nothing will slow you down.
Adrenaline and drugs can overcome pain. Adrenaline and drugs cannot overcome major tissue and internal organ damage
The only drug know to supress pain enough to allow people to behave in an "unstoppable" fashion is PCP. Shoot somebody on speed and it'll drop 'em.
T2 had the exception of having the T1000 frozen next to a metal foundry. They should have run up to the pieces and started chucking them into the melted steel right then instead of waiting for it to thaw out and reform.
Face it. The scriptwriter is a wuss. He resents the fact that guys like Andrew can break him in half with one good bicept flex.
True, haveing the big bad alien bust up a S.W.A.T. team makes him seem dangerious...but after that, you better come up with a realy inventive suprise for offing the wee beastie, or i'm gonna call foul!
And no, the blind parapalegic multipule amputee can't do it with a shove over the railing! Suicide bomb maby, but no fisticuffs.
As for other wise human psychos....just use enough gun. I reccomend at least 6 rounds of 3inch 12 gage .00 buck. Plus one to the head.
>Don't go for the organs, do some damage that will inhibit movement.
I actually though of this while watching Cast a Deadly Spell and the Zombie is coming toward Fred Ward. A couple of shotgun blasts to the knees would have at least slowed him down enough to be easily avoidable. Christian Slater does something similar to the mummy in the Tales from the Darkside movie.
JohnL wrote:
> >Don't go for the organs, do some damage that will inhibit
> movement.
>
> I actually though of this while watching Cast a Deadly Spell
> and the Zombie is coming toward Fred Ward. A couple of shotgun
> blasts to the knees would have at least slowed him down enough
> to be easily avoidable. Christian Slater does something similar
> to the mummy in the Tales from the Darkside movie.
For some reason, zombies seem best handled by either a shotgun or a big old axe. A heavy sword with a keen edge wouldn't be bad either.
Of course, a modern armored force could just run them over. Whatever was left behind after a main battle tank rolled over a zombie would be pretty mushed.
They already did the absolute zero thing. You did see Jason X, right? The problem is some dickweed is gonna want his "ultimate weapon" or some other stupid life-expectancy-reducing crap and free the beastie or supernatural killer. Heavy-duty explosive is the way to go, unless you're dealing with Reptilicus or one of his cronies. Just burn the pieces afterwards.
Brother R
Ah, be careful about the ash. Remember "Return of the liveing dead"? Smoke 'em, then shoot them into space. Oh, drat....that would ensure a sequal! Deep ocean crevace, perhaps?
Post Edited (06-12-03 12:19)
The problem ther is they kept him whole. Freeze him then do the shootgun dance of death on his ass. Six billion fragments of jason aren't boing to do much.
Another solution to the unkillable creature; Chain them up, then encase them in about 3 feet of concrete. After that, coat the entire thing in a foot thick layer of titanium and drop in the (I have no clue how to spell it) Marianis trench, that huge undersea crevice, that's like 20 miles deep. Even if they're not dead, they're not going to be bothering anyone for at least a few thousand years and nobody would be able to retrieve them even if they knew where they were.
Yeah, all you have to do is politely ask them to not move until the concrete sets. I'm sorry but your "stop the unstoppable" answer has been found flawed, please try again (I'm just kidding)
>Yeah, all you have to do is politely ask them to not move until the concrete sets.
That's why you chain them up! :)
yeah, but then there is going to be a nuclear sub accident, and the uranium will land right on top of them, slowly mutating them into even more fearsome critters.
Common sense is all I really think you need to survive any kind of horror movie. Certainly we watch the movie from a different perspective because of course, we are not in that situation, easier said than done. And it also boils down to, that if they didnt make these dumb choices and fell prey to the killers, we wouldnt be as entertained.
However I have never met anyone in my life that had such a lack of common sense as to make some of the Uber-mistakes that these gold medal winners of the Special Olympics have made.
- If you have knocked the Killer in question down, you are 99.9% sure that he intends to do serious bodily harm to you, and he does not get up immediatly, you should always, always, give the bastard/b***h and few well placed kicks to the head/balls/throat. I dont believe that it is going to make the situation worse.
- If the Killer/monster drops some sort of weapon...for god sakes man, pick the f**ker up. Even if you dont know how to use it, at least you'll know he wont have it.
-If you think that what you are about to do is a bad idea because it is obvisouly a bad idea and anyone you can think of would also think its a bad idea, then guess what, chico, its a bad idea and maybe you shouldnt do it.
- And lastly- i would never, ever provoke an obviously dangerous person unless i was absoultely sure that I had a really good back up plan or that i knew i could get away if I had to
Of course it's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
When having ones life threatened do not walk backwards into dark places, alone, in neglige!
John L. Chaining them up I think would be too risky because unless you are absolutly convinced that they woun't come to befor your done, you might not get them secured in time. Even chained up they might be able to worm thier way out of the concrete before it get's a chance to solidify. It takes a LONG ass time for concrete to solidify. Now, pouring molten metal all overthem in a box and dropping them into the trench the waterwould solidify the exterior first and eventually they would be incased in a solid mass of steel. That could be tricky to get out of.
do not walk backwards into dark places, alone, in neglige!
I'll have to remember that...
To dispose of Fiendish Undying Monster:
1) Apply blunt object to brain-pan until FUM stops moving
2) Drive handily-nearby M1/Challenger over FUM until tenderised.
3) Drop FUM's comatose body into industrial mincing plant
4) Send minced FUM to cannery
5) Air mail cans to persons across the world selected at random.
6) Make sure can either says: "Best eaten after July 2315" or "Irradiate in fission pile before serving"
I dont know why, but it seems that pets, with the exception of the Lost World, seem to always survive and help you sutrvive too.
Notable examples are Alien and Crocodile.