About the old MAD magazine bit, "Movie Scenes we'd like to see." Heres one of mine. >> The San Diago Police cars, lights flashing, sirens blareing, screech to a halt as the T-Rex turns around, and roars. The T-Rex advances on the street full of police cruisers....and the cops get out the 12 gage shotguns and 40. Cal Barettas, and blow his prehistoric ass away! Last scene, a group of Cops hand painting a sign that says, "Barbique dinosaure ribs- $ 19.95 a pound." << well.....thats what i'd like to see! The local reviews of J-Park III all mention(In principle) the Heros Death Excemption rule. You know who lives, and who ends up dino poo by who the movie tells ya' to like! "Suspense...we don' need no stinking suspense!" I'll wait till it comes out on tape...at the public library! (We also have DVD's!)....Any more "Scenes YOU'D like to see?"
Mr. Flange mad? - never! I'd like to see Godzilla (or some other unfeasibly large beast) stomping around Woodstock or some other peace 'n' love gathering (not that there's anything particularly wrong with such festivals) just to see how many people would "turn the other cheek" (if they've got a head left of course) and how many would abandon their loved ones and run like ****!
Which reminds me of BAMBI VS. GODZILLA. A classic. I heard there was a sequel too, but I don't remember the name. Something like BAMBI STRIKES BACK.
2 guys walking down the street, engaged in a serious thought provoking conversation, suddenly one of theguys head explodes sending brain matter all over the place.
The other freaks out only to be shot in the head himself.
Cue Music, roll starting credits.
The noise in the old dark house that turns out to be just a kitty cat -- but then the kitty-cat turns into something REALLY awful!!
Chomp, chomp!
****
I was hoping that the FInal Fantasy movie would have the charcters walk in single file behind the main character, and when they attack, they could step forward and take turns attacking. There should've at least been one of those Orko hats...
Your standard tire-screeching car chase through the streets of a big city (San Francisco if you're really into the flying-over-the-tops -of-hills thing). Pedestrians scatter. In the path of the careening vehicles: a fruit cart. Fast cuts for maximum suspense. At the last second, both cars split around the cart, missing it by inches on either side. The pursuit car screeches to a halt, and one of the passengers gets out, runs back to the cart and turns it over, just to p**s Ebert off. Then he jumps back into the car and it picks up the chase again.
Every cool gun-totin' character (Rambo, Dirty Harry, Robocop, etc.) to take aim at everything that annoyed the s**t out of every living American alive and dead (don't think I don't see you hiding, Barney. You purple piece of s**t). And a lot of gratuitous sex (damn, gotta clean the keyboard)
Oh, yeah! Bambi reaches out grom under G's tokyostomper, and gives him a bic hotfoot!
You, and Dr.Freex, loonies after my own heart....well, ya can't have it, its mine! Peter, you've just created the Modified Kenisim, The Spring Loaded Mutant Cat!. And Doc...have you ever concitered the next step in fruitcart Fu? Two motorised fruitcarts, and one of them hits a VW bug, and blows it all to hell!....just a door with raceing stripes and the #53 on it....he. hehe. hehehe. What other EVIL thing can YOU do with a fruitcart!?
A special cannon that shoots only flaming pianos.