Ah, the folly of Conrad. Shopping at Morrisons (British supermarket), I noticed "Resident Evil" in the £4.99 bin and bought it.
Oh boy.
Having read other people's comments, I didn't expect much from the film, but it would occupy me during an evening's ironing.
Yeah, right. Except, with my Bad Movie-honed critical senses, I started to critique the film during the credits sequence. And from then on ... excuse me? A bio-genetic-hideous-virus-research centre, which has a ventilation system that ensures contamination spreads through the whole facility? Whose central computer system kills everyone on-site, but never notifies anyone else what happened or why? An above-ground, completely-seperate, utterly-isolated emergency access site - which gets nerve-gassed?
The ironing was far more entertaining than the video, which will get passed on to the local charity shop pretty quickly.
I'm sorry, but you got off lucky. I read a review of Dracula v. Frankenstien over at Jabootu (http://www.jabootu.com) and decided I simply had to see it.
Painful. Even when fast forward through.
Resident Evil is a five star classic in comparison...
(Well, three star... two star... You get the idea)
Perhaps it's time to bring in a "Minus" Star classification, e.g. -1* = will make you wish you had spent your time cleaning the toilet instead of watching the film; -2* = will cause Permanent Traumatic Recall Of The Film just before you fall asleep at night; -3* = causes viewers to gouge out own eyes with grapefruit spoon to avoid ever having to see the film again.