Recent posts about death have got me thinking about what you would want written on your gravestone if you were to be buried [or plaque if you will, for cremation]
I'm mainly looking for funny ones, or ones that reflect your personality but serious ones are more than welcome.
I'd like my serious one to be "Fly free and far, for heaven is just another journey in the path of life" or something to that effect.
Any others would probably be "Married to a supermodel, won the first Noble Prize for best biceps, became the richest, most powerful man in the world by being the only person to succesfully market Haemorrhoid cream and stopped the world from being taken over by those damn dirty apes."
or "Don't do what I did and tell the Mob that they need to spruce up their image with a bit of Queer eye for the Straight Guy"
I'm sure there are some sweet ones out there. Lay em on me!
As for serious, I don't care, I'll be dead. Let me relatives put something on that will remind them well of me.
As for humourous, I don't know...
"In case of ressurrection, this space for rent"
"Hey, up there, you really need to trim your nose hair"
"I'm coming to get you!!!! PSYCHE!"
"Worms Tickle"
"Don't Laugh, You're Next"
"My Mom and Dad went to Las Vegas,
and all I got was thi stupid headstone"
"..and for my next trick...oops"
"Thank you, thank, I'll be here all week...and the next..."
What I would write on my gravestone? Hmm.... Let me think about that one. I know what my brother in law would say. He'd say " I hope they bury me on my stomach, so the world could kiss my *ss.
"I'll be back"
Actualy would like to have the funniest funeral ever. Maby take notes from the one for Graham Chapman......
Woopie cusions for the "Be seated" thing....orgin music by Spike Jones....and, of course, a tape of me doing a stand up...(Ahem)...a Lie down comedy routine....
"Comfy?"
" good. now lets get this show on the road. Hi, i'm Flangepart. I'm dead. But don't let that get ya down! "
And , it sort of spirals away from there....
Cremate me and scatter the ashes.
"See you soon"
"It's hot down here"
"Brains! Brains!"
"Elvis says hi"
"He was... a mammal"
And speaking of wanting to be buried face down, it reminds me of the old joke about leaving your butt sticking out of the ground so people can park their bikes when they come to visit.
"Wish you were here!"
When it comes to final requests, it's tough to beat Second City improv guru Del Close's; he asked that his skull be removed, cleaned, and used as Yorick in a production of Hamlet!
"Brains! Brains!"
Yes!
I liked the one Gene Hackman envied in "The Royal Tannenbaums": "Fathered 8 children, fought in two wars, drowned in the Caspian Sea." Then when Hackman dies he tries to top it: "Died tragically saving his family from the burning wreckage of a sinking battleship."
"i told you I was sick"
"This is it?"
"Here lies the Neon Noodle - got infected by a rabid poodle!"
"He's dead, Jim."
"Neon Noodle herein rests in peace - or he's EXTREMELY sleepy."
"You want a PROFOUND tombstone?? Try my neighbor!"
"What a place - my casket leaks, and no one's fixed it!"
Another one:
"That didn't work quite the way I planned."
To be buried on a distant planet without a marker, or buried here on earth with a tombstone that reads "What was that all about".
I wouldn't put it on my tombstone but I like the phrase I saw in a western...
"Here lies Lester Moore
2 slugs from a '44
No less, no more"
That was from "Tombstone" if I'm not mistaken.
The Speghetti Western is a great genre. When you watch one you know that someone is about to die. The main idea being something about death. More so than in an American Western. American Westerns usually (not always) around a story, but a Speghetti western is about how they live and die with the story as just the vehicle for the death scene.
Funny all I can think of is this article I saw in one of those tabloids where this guy's wife had died and he had here put in a glass casket and was keeping here in his living room and using the casket as a coffee table........ I would hope that is not a real story but you never know.
The Worms Crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play peanuckle on my snout.
I have already palnned to have myself incinerated and my ashes dispersed on a favourite childhood place.
"Funny all I can think of is this article I saw in one of those tabloids where this guy's wife had died and he had here put in a glass casket and was keeping here in his living room and using the casket as a coffee table........ I would hope that is not a real story but you never know."
I'm pretty sure that's an urban legend. One variation has the guy's friend visit every once in a while and occasionally noticing the corpses clothes disheveled, or put on not quite right, leading to a pretty disgusting conclusion.
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/lucy.htm
Here are a few:
"But I still have time left on the meter!"
"Blue... no, yellow!"
"Singlehandedly saved the world from a secret alien invasion. (Prove I'm lying.)"
"Move along, nothing to see here."
"Whatever doesn't kill me makes me... oops."
"Wanna see something REALLY scary?"
"Hey, watch where you're stepping!"
"Soon to be reincarnated as a snapping turtle."
"How do you know I'm REALLY down here?"
Huh, I did see a photograph of a woman in a glass case, in a guy's livingroom.
Could have been staged though.
David: He ate cheese, liked Bruce Lee, wrote comic books, and didn't die from watching "Freddy Got Fingered"
daveblackeye15 wrote:
> David: . . . didn't die from watching "Freddy Got Fingered"
>
Yeah, but why take the chance.
raj:
I already took the chance man, I got interested in it because I read the "Freddy Got Fingered" review at Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension and I just had to see if it was THAT terrible, well It was really bad.
More stuff: "Find the Dragonballs and wish me back to life"
"Don't look at what I left under your bed...hee..hee."
"I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!but another time"
"Groovy"
"This is craptastic!"
"How much you wanna bet that I'll go to Heaven/Hell or be reincarnated?"
"the first rule of fat club"
...check out the website I referenced above. It shows the photo and demonstrates why it is a hoax.
My tombstone would say:
"Stop searching for perfection. We just buried it."
My first pick would have to be "He tampered in God's domain."
"Join us" would be pretty cool.
"If you can read this, you're close enough for me to drag you in here with me."
"Someone call Herbert West"
"Give my moustache to Trevor"
Brother R
Mine would probably say: "Oh how I miss my velur shirts." or "Get off me b***h!"
: )
Thanks. I guess you shouldn't believe everything you read in Hustler.
Since my wife and I have decided to be toasted upon death, just don't let the ash container be labeled Folgers.
"I'll thank you not to drag your butt on my grave".
I always thought it would be fun to save a little bit of money and hire some crap, C list celebrity like Scott Baio to show up at the funeral and sit up front and act bereaved. And all the mourners (hopefully) will be sitting around all bummed out and then notice him. I expect the murmurs of conversation to go something like this:
"Man, he looked so healthy last time I saw him. He'll certainly be missed. I wonder....wha...hey, is that Scott Baio? I didn't know Matt knew Scott Baio...".