In the latest issue of Weekly Variety, there are a couple of full page ads for new films starring Steven Seagal. Apparently he's going to be working for Nu Image (!) now, at least for these, and we can only hope that means he ultimately ends up in a movie with a killer shark or giant snakes or spiders or something.
The ad for "The Mercenary" is as generic as its title. Seagal's face fills the center of the ad, with a pistol held lovingly against his cheek. Underneath this image is some helicopters and troops and stuff, and the tagline is "It's Time to Fight Again." Yawn.
The second ad is much more promising. Seagal's heavily airbrushed face and dyed hair and eyebrows hold centerstage, over one of those series of concentric circles meant to indicate a sub's sonar screen. Inside this is the conning tower of a nuclear sub. Sure enough, it seems to be a monster movie. "At 20,000 Fathoms, The Only Creature More Dangerous Than A Biological Mutant Is...Man." The film will be directed by Anthony "Waxwork/Hellraiser III/Warlock: The Armageddon" Hickox. Oh, and the film's title is presently "Submerged," so expect more easy japes about Seagal's career.
Expect Seagal to be pumping 'em out for a while. Working with companies like Nu Image means his salary is way the hell down, and you've got to appear in quite a few films to make anywhere near the money he once got per picture.
Working with companies like Nu Image means his salary is way the hell down,
Maybe he's eating less, then, and will start looking a little trimmer?
That's good for him also since there will really be no acting skills required.
The worst Segal debacle was On Deadly Ground, in which he all but calls himself a Messiah. Worse, after blowing up half of Alaska he then makes an empassioned speech about saving the environment.
http://www.jerrydroberts.com/brokedowncinema/Reviews/Deadly.htm
The only problem is that as his salary slides the number flicks he makes still goes up. These lower level films from smaller companies go to TV quicker since they don't get US theatrical releases and cover the video stores like kudzoo. Networks like FX, TBS, and USA love to show his crap since he still has some kind of audience, maintains a higher profile than his current career justifies, and his flicks make great weekend programming filler (just run three or four back to back on a Sunday afternoon). I don't know how many times I've had to avoid "The Foreigner", "The Patriot", "On Deadly Ground", and "Exit Wounds" on basic cable. Maybe like farm subsidies, we could get the feds (like the National Endowment for the Arts) to pay him NOT to work for the good of the culture. Then he could spend more time on his so-called "music" or to keep paying Buddhist temples to declare him reincarnations of lamas (or even llamas from looking at his face lately).
Still it is fascinating to see how quickly he went into career slide from being a fairly big name star who could "open" a film nationally, to direct-to-video denizen, to playing second fiddle to rappers, to making one of "those" submarine flicks. Maybe the concentric circles from the ad Ken Begg saw was meant to represent levels of movie Hell he is quickly sinking through.
Van Damme and Seagal are dying a slow, straight to video death. If only they decided to do proper films throughout their carreers instead of rehashing the same old crap, then they might have a smidgent of credibility, and therefore watchability.
Oh wait, no, they both can't act...
At least Schawzenegger and Stallone have played different roles that show they can actually do some good work [I really like alot of Stallone's new stuff, like Cop Land etc] Therefore they can still open a movie that is capable of bringing in the big bucks.
...and Chuck Norrris was smart and took the honorable role to TV before becoming silly in movies
Segal might be good in an old fashioned Western. That would help with a new image.
He might also be good in an old folks home.
I think Steven Seagal used to be the best action star around, in the early 90s everyone wanted to be Steven Seagal he was the coolest baddest mofo around, the early days of Seagal were better then anything any other action hero ever did! Too bad he didn't keep in shape and keep making the ultra violent movies that made him a household name, violence + in shape mean seagal = great \ tree hugging chubby karate guy seagal + wirework fake matrix stuff= horrible....Where are all the new action stars to take the torch the guys now a days couldnt make a dime with scripts these guys were working \with and showcasing in there payday....
Anybody see the new Seagal TV ad where he enters the convenience store and unintentionally knocks out every man in the place including the clerk with a nasty headbutt?
Funny stuff!
I've always liked Seagal as an actor for the most part but only in his early films.
>Anybody see the new Seagal TV ad
Yup, saw it last night. At first I thought it was a look-a-like because I was thinking "Steven Seagal doing commercials? Nah..."
Reminded me of the sketches on MadTV where "he" would get mad and end up beating everyone in sight to a pulp.