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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: abner on April 03, 2004, 10:04:29 PM

Title: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: abner on April 03, 2004, 10:04:29 PM
You want a horrible movie that will keep you in suspense for picking out the worst scene.  Go rent rollerblade.  It is almost impossible to find though.  I bought it off of amazon.com and I thank myself for doing so.  First off, everybody in this movie is one rollerskates and carry butterfly knives.  If you aren't of rollerskates or even skateboards you are slaughtered.  This movie is about a girl infiltrating a religion sanctuary, run by women who look like the KKK, to steal the magic smiley face globe that contains special healing powers and give it to an evil hand puppet for batteries for her walkman.  It is a must see, if you can find a copy.  Just a little taste of the glory this film has.  In one scene, barbarians that look like the band GWAR strip 4 of the religious chicks and make them bathe in a hot tub while they skate around the tub yelling "Whack Off, Whack Off".  Pure brilliance.  It should have one and award, but they got beat out by Troll 2.
Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on April 04, 2004, 04:15:39 AM
You wouldn't happen to be referring to "Legend of the Rollerblade 7", starring Frank Stallone and Joe Estevez, would you?  If so, then everyone must go out and rent it right now, it rocks!  No, not really.  But seriously, it rocks.

Brother R

Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: Bgrade on April 04, 2004, 10:24:03 AM
I think he is talking about the first of the 5 Rollerblade movies.

I've only seen Legend of the Roller Blade 7. (the 4th of the series)
That was quite enough.  For as horrid and rare as these movies are it sure seems that plenty of people have seen them.  (They come up at least once a month on this board)

I guess that means the movie makers have suceeded in their evil plot.

It still burns...
or
Joe Estevez... HeeHee.
Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: lester1/2jr on April 06, 2004, 02:10:35 PM
wait so it's called rollerblade but they're on rollerskates?
Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on April 06, 2004, 07:31:15 PM
There's a whole series of these things?  Wow.  I don't know how to feel about that.

Brother R

Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: Bgrade on April 06, 2004, 09:07:04 PM
lester1/2jr wrote:

> wait so it's called rollerblade but they're on rollerskates?

Yes
Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: Bgrade on April 06, 2004, 09:10:25 PM
I have the same feeling.  Legend of the rollerblade 7 is so bad that it's almost required viewing.  Plus it has the worst/best repeated footage combat style ever. ( you know where they show the same punch three time in slow motion).

The idea of 5 more of these movies makes me very unease like something bad is going to happen to the universe
Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: lester1/2jr on April 08, 2004, 02:21:34 PM
rollerblade and it's rollerskates.  They have that at Video Oasis here in Bston, but I don't know about that place.  The porn stuff they have is just way too sick and weird to be legal. great store otherwise.   I'm going back soon anyway to rent the Evil Dead 2 blood disk, one of the only red laserdisks I've ever seen
Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: Mr. Hockstatter on April 08, 2004, 06:13:24 PM
I saw Rollerblade Warriors, and I actually thought it was pretty good.  Of course, it was on at 4 in the morning, and we'd been drinkin' and smokin' dope since the evening before, but still...it beat the heck out of the infomercial for the juicer that was on the other channel.
Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: i luv dolma on April 09, 2004, 01:21:25 AM
My godfather's brother worked with Joe Estevez in a movie called Jumper. (never seen it, and never want to).

You think Rollerblade is bad...watch "Alicia." I was it at the world premiere. You were lucky, you could of got up and or turned off the TV. But me...I had to sit in the crumby HS wooden chairs (of the theater) and sit through the whole thing that felt like 4 hours.
Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: abner on April 09, 2004, 05:40:37 PM
They are on rollerskates with butterfly knives.  So therefore the rollerskates are "roller" and the knives are "blade".
Title: Re: Rollerblade is the worst movie hands down
Post by: abner on April 09, 2004, 05:46:52 PM
I'm not sure that it's part of the Legend of Rollerblade 7 series.  All I know is that it's called rollerblade and it stars Suzanne Solari, Jeff Hutchinson, Shaun Michelle, Katina Garner and so on.  I don't know any of these people, but they know how to make a hilarious movie.  All the voices are dubbed in, the wardrobe is horrific, and there are naked chicks.  What more could you ask for in a movie.