The other thread talked about seatbelts on the Enterprise but I always found it humorous to think of the restrooms and the technology behind them.
I remember watching a documentary on StarTrek TNG and Jon Frakes pointed out that bathrooms were on board.
But think of the technology behind them...since they wouldn't literally dump their s**t into space, it seems reasonable that the waste is recycled somehow, probably converted into energy.
Do the turds go into some sort of tank where it's held until it's converted or does the crap fall down into some sort of vaporizer beam that instantly turns it into usable power that's re-routed elsewhere to other parts of the ship.
If a lot of crewmembers were taking a dump at the same time, a power rise would be noticed on one of the bridge control panels.
It makes me think of the replicator systems on board that are used to make food...what if the waste that was turned into energy were used to make dinner for Capt. Picard?
He could be eating Worf's recycled s**t!
Hehe!
And can you imagine Worf sitting on a toilet while constipated!?
All you would hear in the corridor as you passed is, "RRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
What's your take on this?
Post Edited (04-25-04 20:32)
ASHTHECAT:
That's a really CRAPTASTIC idea! That's pretty gross actually, I mean I just pictured s**t on Worf's ass and then Captain Picard pouring some sort of brown sauce on his eggs going "hmmm"
anyway the part about converting human waste into energy is a interesting idea, and what happens when tons of people go at once made me laugh out loud. Maybe there's a huge tank(s) where all the poop and stuff goes to and after a while the tank breaks off and is mailed to some Federation base and from there they put the waste in the same place as we do on earth. Actually the tank doesn't have to break off, I think it would just beam the stuff to earth then.
That conjures a frightening visual of having to compensate for the loss of a warp core:
"Number One, it's time for everyone to collectively take a Number Two, BORG STYLE!"
"I will make it so, Captain..."
In one of the deleted scenes of Galaxy Quest, there was a spoof on this, when one of the aliens explains to Doctor Lazarus that, unaccountably, they hadn't been able to find any trace of toilets in the published schematics of the Protector, and they had to extrapolate from the known facts of Lazarus's anatomy. When Alan Rickman's character opens the door, he is faced with the weirdest contraption.
Seriously, there have been tons of drawings and specs published on Starfleet vessels. Somebody must have come up with an answer. Which still begs my original question, Do these toilets have seatbelts? Otherwise, things could get unpleasant during an attack.
All of this toilet talk makes me wonder..............
What are the most famous bathroom scenes in movies.
I'll further qualify.......
Actually, I'll start a new thread on this.
Well in real life the Apollo astronauts had to recycle their urine to get drinking water. And farmers do use cow s**t as fertilizer (probably not as much these days) so it's posssible at some point you've had recycled cow s**t. Think about that the next time you eat a veggie burger.
****Geek Mode on*****
YES everything is recycled onboard the Enterprise and other Star Fleet Starships. The replicators are actually hooked up to a matter storage "dump." ALL mater waste is stored in this dump in ITS BASE MOLECULAR FORM. When a person asked for "EARL GREY, HOT," the replicators computer takes the matter and energy stored in the dump and reconstructs it to form the Cup, saucer, and Tea. All this according to the Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual.
****Geek Mode Off****
So YES, when Worf or WHOEVER is eating something on board ship, they are eating what was at one time: Poop, amputated limbs, pee, waste paper, and anything else disgarded on the ship.
(And the schematics for the Enterprise in the manual do show only 1 bathroom, but they also show a duck, a cat, a mouse and a DC-10 airplane.)
I read that too (must be ten years ago), and yeah, I got the impression the poop went the way of other garbage - converted to the dense matter that the ship has to carry as raw material for the replicators, which also serve as the garbage cans.
I kind of think the toilets must be hooked up to the same system. They'd be just sort of a bowl (no drain) with a seat, and when you stood up, all the bad stuff would disappear with that sparkly replicator effect. Of course, if it broke down, you could always shovel the stuff into the replicator. And at parties, there's always that guy who pees in the replicator, because he can't wait for the can.
the only question that remains is how do Starfleet personnel wipe? It must be something more clean, thorough and efficient than paper?
Three seashells maybe?
Post Edited (04-23-04 10:15)
I think we have broadly speaking three options for the personal hygiene problem
- a version of the 'sonic shower' (whatever that may be)
- a particularly finely tuned phaser application
- an equally finely tuned transporter operation
I'd rather not think about tractor beams.
But the tractor beam idea would be very helpful for Worf's constipation problem mentioned earlier.
On to the medical side of things, how the heck can a diagnostic tool the size of a pack of Certs (registered trademark) be effective.
I love in Star Trek 4 when the good doctor gives the kidney patient a pill that stops her need for dialisys (sp). I find comfort in this because, even in the future, most doctors will, as now, be pill-pushers. :-)
Actually I love my doc but it always strikes me as funny when I see it.
On an episode of Enterprise they were doing a broadcast to a third grade class on Earth and one of the kids asked this very question. Trip the engineer told them the human waste was recycled as boots and other clothing. Since this is pre-TOS their replicators don't do food very good yet.
>>But think of the technology behind them...since they wouldn't literally dump their s**t into space, it seems reasonable that the waste is recycled somehow, probably converted into energy<<
Maybe there's a planet poop where they beam it all
I'd like to see an april fools episode involving that teleportation device..imagine the fun you could have. I mean would it be possible to beam crap anywhere? Or when your spouse falls asleep roll them into the thing and beam them to another planet
But think of the technology behind them...since they wouldn't literally dump their [stuff]into space,
Why not? What's it going to do? Maybe eventually get stuck in a gravity well and fall into a star or burn up in rentry somwhere?
The would not dump their waste into space for the sole reason that, for the later series anyway, they are very, very politically correct. They would not want the appearance of 'environmentally unfriendly' to denigrate the wonderful preachiness that took years to establish.
Not a technical reason, I know. Could you imagine Janeway's coniption (sp??) fit if she caught Nelix dumping food scraps out the hatch?
Oh man, I shudder to think of it.
>I'd like to see an april fools episode involving that teleportation device..imagine
>the fun you could have.
Stuff like that is featured in pretty much every parody or ST ever made. Mad Magazine had one for the original ST where, if I remember correctly, the captain ended up with his head fastened directly to his waist, a hand for a foot and a foot sticking out of his ear.
I also seen a tagline on some people's messages that reads "Very funny Scotty! Now beam down my clothes!"
JohnL wrote:
> I also seen a tagline on some people's messages that reads
> "Very funny Scotty! Now beam down my clothes!"
Yes but you see if that technology were ever invented and I got my hands on it i would use it for the forces of dark humor, i never stop getting a kick out of playing jokes on people. That for me would be an endless source of entertainment. On the flip side can you imagine how much fatter our society would become? Mother-in-laws the worldover would suddenly dissapear....
Didn't they do that in Spaceballs? Or maybe it was some other movie. A guy was beamed from one room to another and wound up with his ass in the front. He was surprised - he didn't realize it was that big.
Enterprise bathrooms. The only thing I've ever thought about in regards to the bathrooms on the Enterprise is the sonic shower. Which I presume uses sonic waves instead of water. But, if one was old fashioned, could one still get an old-fashioned water shower installed in one's quarters.
raj: farmers do indeed still use cow manure as fertilizer. Also pig, sheep and chicken poop - all of it they can get. AND they use 'processed' human waste in the form of 'sludge' - so really, this recycling idea is pretty low-tech. Wash those veggies!
>Yes but you see if that technology were ever invented and I got my hands on it i
>would use it for the forces of dark humor, i never stop getting a kick out of playing
>jokes on people.
You mean beaming people out of their clothes? Yeah, I know who your first 'victim' would be... ;)
>Didn't they do that in Spaceballs?
Yes, that was Spaceballs.