1. The one where a freak transporter malfunction, Area 51 incident, or Sliders crossover sends them into the mirror universe where Samantha was never abducted. Mulder grows up without the fanatical drive, a lazy shiftless slacker, and becomes the fourth Lone Gunman, the one the other's kind of pity. He coincidentally met Scully right out of high school, without the professional relationship keeping them platonic, they immediatly married and began to breed. Scully in a fat suit? Samantha is married to Krycheck (sp?), and they all live together (poor people tend to live in clusters). Hijinks ensue, followed by some kind of climax and resolution. Meant to be the ultimate "Mulder and Scully get it on without ruining the show" episode. Would be necessy to pretend a lot of other episodes never happened, but the premise might allow that.
2. The one that would be called "Trust No One" if there hadn't already been one called that (I think). Probably also requires pretending a lot of other's hadn't happened. Series finale in which it is revealed that Scully has actually been working for the Conspiracy all along (as she almost appeared to be in the first episode). She's been manipulating Mulder all along, leading him on wild goose chases to discredit the enemies of the Conspiracy, get certain people killed, etc. Near the end of the episode, it is revealed that Mulder is an alien.
My friend from West Virgina pointed out they never did a mothman episode. They mentioned him once or twice, but never had a full episode. They also never had a Big foot episode. Which is kinda funny if you think they touched on all of the regional monsters- jersey devil, chuplacabra, loch ness type, brown mountain lights.
What about an episode where Mulder trains a pony to bite off Scott Tenorman's penis... that would be cool.
I was never an X-Files fan but I think a funny episode idea would be to show that Mulder is really a lot like Don Quixote and all you've seen are his impressions of what he thinks is going on. A "Sculley as Sancho Panza" perspective would be interesting
I don't think the Chupacabra episode should count, because it didn't really have anything to do with Chuppy except that there were Mexicans. I can't think of any other major regional monsters they didn't get except for minor variations (Yeti, Sasquatch, Skunk Man - Nessie, Champy...) and possibly the Lizard Man from someplace down south. I don't think they did much old timey mythological stuff, like fairies or elves. I don't recall any mummy episodes, or hardcore PK Dickian ontological riffs that'd inevatably be compared to The Matrix.
Warning: bit of a cheap shot coming from someone who could never get into the show too much despite several attempts and encouragment from his uncle who was a die hard fan!
How about the one where Mulder breaks down and confesses that when the aliens abducted his sister they also took Duchovny's acting ability. Weak, bland attempts at emoting follow.
Who saw him on Conan talking about this episode where they said that Mulder had a horrible fear of fire, that just happened never to have come up in all the other episodes where he jumps into burning buildings and stuff. His rendition of Mulder reacting to fire was hilarious. And Pierre Bernard rules!
How about the episode where these mysterious guys in suits show up at Mulder's house, tell him he knows too much and shoot him. Scully is warned to forget he ever existed.
Anyone else been following 9 Chickweed Lane (http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/chickweed/index.html) this week?
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