Every once in a while I decide to submit a posting of depressing s**t, mostly to air myself out and get feedback from people of ordinary venue. Working in the medical profession gives you an odd slant on life, a twisted sense of humor, a cooler view of pain and discomfort than, say, a CPA or a dishwasher repairman. Having worked as an RT for 18 years in the ICU and ER and seeing as much as I have has warped me somewhat, I guess, and blunted my sense of tragedy. I hear the same from nurses and physicians all the time near the point of burn-out. Now and then, however, an incident occurs that reminds you of the frailty and fragility of human beings, and that we all are of the same stuff.
The hospital would not like this incident discussed in detail, but I feel the need to unburden, so some particulars will be altered, but the gist will be the same. Last evening, a son visiting his mother on the Medical floor went to use the restroom by the cafeteria, found the door locked, and further found---to his horror--an inreasingly large puddle of blood seeping out from under the door. When door was forced open by security guards a man in scrubs was found face-down by the sink saturated in gore, and in the wall above the toilet was a gaping hole still wet with blood and tissue. Identification was impossible, since the face was obliterated, presumably from the large-caliber handgun found in the restroom with the body.
This is being ruled as a suicide. The hospital pastors have doubled up for counselling sessions as they do whenever staff have to deal with infant or child demise, and they have been busy. The hospital president was quick to distribute a notice that this is an isolated incident, not foul play, and that no one else was injured.
I remember several years ago a similar incident occured in the parking garage when a young woman shot herself and was found by a teenager coming to visit a family member. I recall my response was the same, that of feeling that for all our rescuing in cases of accident or physical deterioration or disease, we are sometimes too late, and it is most unnerving when the damage is self-inflicted, and never is the feeling of loss so intense, for it could be one of us in a moment of desparation and despair.
Anyway . . .... . . .. thanks for the ears.
Man that's messed up.
I wonder what was happening in the life of the man who killed himself in that bathroom.
I mean, what a weird way to off yourself....in the restroom of the hospital you work in with a gun.
What could've been so bad in his life that he would do that?
Whatever it was, he was pressed way beyond the breaking point.
Since he had the gun, he was probably gonna do it no matter what but something made him decide in an instant to do it right there in the restroom.
That, in and of itself suggests he did it on impulse.
Something drove him over the edge.
I wonder what it was....maybe something he saw moments before?
To be able to delve into this man's recent memories might be both fascinating and totally horrifying.
Any idea how old this guy was?
This sounds like something straight out of ER or Law & Order.
It's too bad.
My stepfather was VERY mentally disturbed. He was injured in a car accedent that left him having sezures for the rest of his life. One day he decided that he did not want to live like that anymore and went into his bedroom and shot himself in the chest with a sawed off 12-guage. I was about 14 when this happened and I was the one to find him that afternoon when I returned from school. Now, I did not like him much at all he was very abusive to myself and my mother, but that did not help inthe fact that I walk in to see someone I know with a gaping hole in their body. This image was with me for years after this, nightmares were frequent and very bad.
That being said sometimes it is not one perticular thing that drives them over the edge. Most of the time they are just so depressed over any number of things that have happened in their life that they decide it is not worth it anymore. But, I have often wondered, in the seconds before they pull the triger, or do whatever it is they do, what is going through their heads....I agree with Ash this is something that could be interesting and VERY horrifying.
Not very sure what the point of this post was, but it feels good to talka bout it. This is maybe the second time I have ever told this to anyone outside of my family. It is just something that is kind of difficult to speak about.
ASHTHECAT wrote:
> What could've been so bad in his life that he would do that?
Who knows? Here about a week or so ago, a teenaged boy was stabbed by his father in the act of trying to strangle is younger brother, but he escaped. The dad was in the middle of a murder-the-family/suicide, all because the bank was about to foreclose on their house (or at least that's the word).
Each person has a different breaking point. In my old job, I dealt with numerous suicides, and I ALWAYS find them so incredibly sad.
There's no better word for it...just sad.
Onionhead,
I realize your job can get to you at times, and I can only hope that knowing you, and the work you do, is tremendously appreciated. My wife is a pediatrician a reasonably large city hospital, and she rotates through the PICU every few months. There have been many instances that she has mentioned her gratefulness of the dedication and professionalism of the RT's with whom she works.
So, from her and me, and hopefully all the rest of us, Thank-you for putting up with what you have to to do the job you do.
Much agreed Ulthar. thank you Onionhead for the work you do, i have a lot of respect for people in your profession.
in the armed forces we can sometimes go through similar things. sometimes during deployments some career fields will work in the mortuary, or just be given the additional duty of having to pick up dead bodies. i know a person who had to do this, and he has changed a lot since he got back.
I was briefly acquainted with the only person to jump off of the Tacoma Narrows bridge and survive. She said that the second she jumped, she wished she hadn't. Eventualy, though, she jumped off of it again.
" Working in the medical profession gives you an odd slant on life, a twisted sense of humor, a cooler view of pain and discomfort than, say, a CPA or a dishwasher repairman"
i cant be much agree with u since im a resident dr and just starting now, and almost getting the burn out point.
I worked in civil service for about seven years and we seemed to have our share of suicides, though none of them actually IN the workplace. There was also someone who died and it was several days before anyone checked up on him---someone at work thought something was wrong because this person always called in sick if he wasn't going to be at work, so they called the cops who found his body inside his home--he'd had a heart attack or something.
The fact that so many people working there didn't have any personal relationships made it understandable how suicides weren't that uncommon. Most people there were also divorced or never married, so when I got married last year I decided it was probably best that I didn't work there anymore.