Probably all of us have seen Jay Leno's Headline's segment on the Tonight Show. I have seen some rather humorous signs and headlines I thought would be fun to share.
One of these dollar discount type stores had a banner hanging directly below its store sign.
The sign read: Nothing over a dollar
The banner read: 50% off sale (in smaller print) only on items more than a dollar
An adult club had posted on its daily sign: Thur...Strip Poker Night...No Cover
I distinctly remember the headline of an article in Parade Magazine about the disparity in pay between pro men's and pro women's basketball.
The headline read: Balls bounce unevenly in pro hoops
Does anybody else have any funny signs or headlines to share?
As you walked down Lower Pacific Avenue in Tacoma in the '70s you would pass the Eternity Rescue mission and then Bimbo's Italian Reastaurant. Viewed from the corner, the signs would read; "Eternity, Where Jesus Saves Food To Go Dancing"
I always thought that was humorous
Then along the side of the road, my father pointed out a sign outside a corner deli that sold milk in "HOMO GALS" (gallons of homogenized milk, see? Funny, no? Yes? oh well)
I'm sure there's some more I can think of, but one sign that sticks to my head is an ad for a Mcdonalds in the country.
It's a big billboard advertising the Mcdonalds in the town called 'Yass' and of course being Mcdonalds they slappy a big M on the front of the ad making it look like My Ass.
Silly yet amusing.
There was an article in our local paper some years ago about 'Long-Term Care Concerns'. It was accompanied by a photo with two subjects. The background subject was a doctor glancing at the foreground subject. The foreground subject was a skeleton. Now that's long-term care.
I know there are some amusing signs around here, but I can't think of any really good ones at the moment.
My wife and I get a chuckle out of a directional sign near our home, directing people to "First Unitarian" with an arrow pointing down a side street. The original joke was "he must be really old" and we've continued from there.
Years ago, back when I was in ad layout, I made a small error in the heading of a real estate ad. In spite of it being 24-point type, three proofreaders and the person assembling the page missed it.
The ad read: "Attention all those who want to get head. Stop paying high prices. Call Doris Ernst."
Fortunately, Doris was not so much angry as really embarrassed.
There's a church near me called like Blessed Salvation Methodist CHurch.
However their sign just says "Blessed Salvation Next Left"
In a couple locations near my home there are dumpster-like containers meant for turning in clothes for needy children. The slogan on the side of each reads;
"Kiducation: We turn your old clothes into kids"
Every time I see one of them, I can't help thinking that I'd like to meet the mad scientist who can take lifeless fabric and turn it into a living human.
Sign in front of a Methodist Church
"Don't let worries kill you
Let the Church help"
Sign in front of a family owned butcher shop.
Family Market
Custom Killing
On a church in Cheyenne Wyoming:
"Jesus is Lord Here- Thurs, Sat, Sun 9-11, 1-3"
-Ed
I love that 75% of these are church things
Probably befuddled volunteers who don't have enough letters for their sign.
-Ed
There was a picture in my local paper about some local bussiness with a couple of the employees, and in the caption, it said that one of them was named "Hugh Janus". I carried that paper around for quite awhile, never found out the address to send it to Leno.
And poor Hugh wonders why he's the butt of everyones jokes.
I remember there used to be this one realtor who advertised in one of our publications. Her name was Gaye Males.
I always figured she must have been the one girl in high school none of the guys would admit to liking.
Post Edited (01-06-05 19:15)
The local Kennett Paper recently ran an article with the headline, "Crows Are Follow Human Eating Patterns." The rest of the article was fairly ridiculous as well. It was based on something "a friend of mine" saw, apparently a crow eating fast food off the street and being fat and slow because of it. This is because carbohydrates are EVIL, and not, you know, something we need to live. The author of the piece posits that "Crows are not getting the message on Atkins." Good to know, pal. Glad the paper hired you instead of me.
Though it wasn't printed, this should fit in here anyway. A few years ago we had a Bob's Big Boy restaurant near where I work. The local radio station was running ads for it and one of the lines in the add stated: "Come on down and try Big Boy's special sauce." The ad ran for a week or so. I wonder who came up with that wording and what were they thinking?
Here's a link to a bunch of funny signs.
Funny Signs (http://www.funnysign.com/)
In Richardson Texas there is a hospital named Robert H. Dedman. When I first saw "Dedmans Hospital" I about fell over.
This one's probably only funny to me because I'm immature. We have bags of flavored coffee at work for the coffee makers. One of the flavors is "Vanilla Nut Cream"
A group of us had done blind testing for a set of Doctor Who miniatures rules. When we received the completed rules, we could not help but laughing everytime we came across a reference in the rules to 'grab your measuring device'.
Hey I was getting some blood tests a few years ago and the tech's name was Butcher. I commented on it and he said his Dad was a doctor and he hate everytime they called him on the PA system . "Doctor Butcher you have a call!"
My wife reminded me of a good one. Over the course of our holiday visiting, we passed a hotel advertising "heated poo." Gotta like those missing letters.
Oooh...ooh...ooh, I saw his movie.
Not so much a sign as a label. I saw this just yesterday. In the local grocery store, there's a deli that sells wrapped subs and whatnot. I forget what it's called, but it comes down to "C.O.C." on all their labels. So their biggest sub is labeled "COC MONSTER."
I saw an odd sign at the bank some years ago. It read: "Remember, February is National Alzheimer's Month."
At a church in my town it said "At fist I was a sinner, but with Jesus I'm a winner"-God
How does God sin? Isn't he technically Jesus anyway?
I don't know if this is a standard street name in a lot a cities, but in Lexington, KY the planning commission apparently had a sense of humor when they allowed a street to be named OVER DRIVE.
By how, i'm sure you've heard about the smartass who changed some survey maps fo Bevis Lake to read "Lake Butthead"