All right, you know about the topic where I asked advice on this girl I like. Now things just got intersting due to a chat I had with one of her friends. My head is a bit whirly at the moment.
It turns out that she, this friend, and another girl have some kind of intersesting relationship. The guy told me that it would be wiser to not tell the girl I like her feelings, due to these three have strong feelings for each other, plus she said that she has turned down guys that have told her. And that the other girl is the total jealous type. He advised that I shouldn't tell her and that if I like my friendship with her then I won't let her know about my feelings.
Now I bet a lot of guys are thinking "Don't try hanging around a girl that into a relationship that you discribed"
But a part of me is thinking A) How do I know this dude isn't lying or stretching it a crapload? I mean this girl has HAD singular boy friends in the past this year and she's still friends with two of them. Actually it was two guys total this whole year and she's still good friends with them and this guy maybe trying to be with her byhimself. B) In this situation I'm not going to give up without a god fight damn it!
I sort of acted like I would give up or not saying anything to her but we'll see.
f**k, you ever have a day where you wished you didn't talk to somebody?
Well I'm intersted you guys take on this. Like I said I brought it to the table and said I would keep you up dated (I bet I won't like some of the respones but that's life)
Post Edited (06-15-05 04:43)
I seen girls like this. Their called "Cock Blockers". Basically they don't like any guy that date their friend and due everything in their power to stop you. My advice? Don't be a prick to them. Just be nice to them. No matter what they will never like you just tolerate you. Their just looking out for their friend really. So still go for the girl. Oh and for the friend that told you this info? He probably B.S. to you to get her or was turn down in the past and blamed the friends.
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"We Greeks created democracy! You also created homos!"-Ghost World
Pretty much what Rich said.
Don't listen to what other people are saying...they may or may not be lying. There is no way to know until you take care of it yourself. I would say that you're probably not too far off with your assumption that he may be lying to have her to himself. You really have only 2 choices now if you look at it simply. First is take a chance and go for it. What is the worst that can happen? The worst is really not that bad if you think about it. The second thing you can do is forget all about it and continue as you are. This will make you go on for years doing the 'what if' thing to yourself. Trust me, Dave, that's not worth it.
I'm with Odinn7. You'll be kicking yourself for years, wondering what would have happened.
I say tell her anyway! Be bold, screw what others are telling you and go for it.
I thought this was a forum for discussion of MOVIES....
Very strange. While I agree that this is probably a "cock block", the target of your affections may be using this as a way of letting you know that she is not interested.
It seems funny to me that this type of relationship would be something of which you were never aware. When I was a young man, two girls I knew kissed in private, nothing more, and word got around very quickly. This kind of relationship rarely remains secret.
I think she is just trying to kindly let you down without being harsh. Perhaps she values you as a friend and is afraid you will be angry at her rejection.
At any rate, this seems like ALOT of trouble to go through for what will in all likelyhood be a short term relationship. Cut your losses, be her friend and try your game out on another playing field; hopefully one where the competition is a bit more willing.
If you don't want to read Off Topic Posts (very clearly marked in the subject), don't read them.
Dave is a regular on this board, and contributes much to discussions on movies. Many of us, I believe, think of him as a friend. The OT threads such as this one help us all get to know each other better and sometimes just be fun or silly.
In other words, the group on this board is NOT one dimensional. They are real people with real stuff to discuss. What's wrong with that?
As the love of movies is often about living vicariously through the lives of others, real or fictional, we are living vicariously through Dave's life at the present.
kriegerg69 wrote:
> I thought this was a forum for discussion of MOVIES....
>
Come on man, give Dave a break, he's a good kid. If he needs help, I don't see why we can't give it to him if he asks for it from us. I, for one, don't mind off topic talk as I really think this board would get completely stale if we were only allowed to talk about movies and nothing else. As ulthar said, it's clearly marked OT...just pass it up if you don't want to read it.
>>>>As the love of movies is often about living vicariously through the lives of others, real or fictional, we are living vicariously through Dave's life at the present.
So true... and that's sad! :-P
When I read this new post I got a bit worried that something really bad happened, but this isn't the dark new I was expecting.
This was an unexpected twist, I really should thank the writers for keeping this melodrama fresh and exciting and engaging! And I loved how they added in two new characters. Brilliant!!
ahem....
Well, I think that you have been telling too many people other than this girl about your feelings: eventually one will tell her I'd bet, so who would you rather it be: you, the studly young Dave-man or the 'cock block'?
That being said, this isn't exactly bad news: If he does indeed want to throw you off the scent, then he is obviously threatened by your unbuttoned shirt and charm.
But at the least, I don't like what he is saying: even if she was to turn you down, and like you said, she has remained friends with other guys who've dated her, then there is no reason for her to just go: "Now that you've asked me out we can never be friends ever again''
It just seems illogical: after all, if you truly value her friendship, and these feelings remain bottled up, it cannot be good, whereas if you go for it, then for better or worse at least you can move on. If she says no, you could still remain friends, find someone new and then you have both friends and girlfriend. If she says yes, well then YES!!
Whilst this is a sign to tread carefully, it isn't by a long shot a sign to just give up.
Short answer: Never base a decision on gossip, BS or second-hand information. This sounds like a bit of all three.
You want to go out with this girl, get a yes or a no from her. (Be careful of a maybe, however, since that is usually a polite no from someone trying to be gentle without realizing the hell that kind of uncertaintly can put you through). Of course, you also have to be prepared to accept a rejection as solid and permanent, and move on as strictly a friend.
I would be careful about "telling her your feelings" however. Keep it low-key. Tell her you'd like to date, if she's interested. Declaring your love right away can make a girl uncomfortable. Be honest, but don't go overboard.
Who is a "cock block"? The girl because she has only "friends" or the guy who is jealous?
Wence from what I understand from Daves post theirs two people who are "blockers". The "guy" that told Dave not to purse the women of his dreams and if this "guy" is correct other friend who is jealous that could be a "blocker" also. As of now we are talking about the "guy" so he is the "cock blocker" in question. Man this plot is getting convoluted.
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"We Greeks created democracy! You also created homos!"-Ghost World
Post Edited (06-15-05 14:18)
Ever notice that many of the greatest tragedies (and comedies) feature some sort of middleman between the two lovers?
Thanks for helping me out everyone. In the back of my mind I was thinking "Something's not quite right here" I will tell or at least try and ask her out sometime. I'll at least ask her if she's interested in dating (or something like that) on Sunday.
The only thing I'm NOW really worried about is that the guy will tell her before I do and that would mess things up. He said he'd swear not to tell her but you never know.
And kriegerg69 if you do have a problem with my posting of Off Topics, and I stated IN the title that this was off topic, then don't read them or tell Andrew. I doubt Andrew will lock this or ban me but if you are displeaced then you should talk to the head guy.
But I want you to know that these guys are cool and quite a lot of them I'd consider friends, they really are helping me out and making me feel better by supporting me and I hope can help them out also (well I'm not as experinced as a lot of them are but I can also give my two cents of advice on a subject)
I noticed that last time I checked I didn't see you say anything against the posters about being off topic in several other off topics. So I don't know what you have against me. I think you are a pretty cool guy and I hope you can keep being cool.
Thanks again, but if anybody as anything to add then please say it in case I'm missing something.
Post Edited (06-15-05 19:05)
Now, Dave, you can't leave us hanging like this. We want to know how things are going with your friend.
Have you asked her out?
Have you kicked the cock block in the crotch?
If you tried the tight pants and open shirt, feel free not to expand upon that.
I'm with everyone else on this. Forget anything that dumb ass dork told you. Keep it simple. Just get back to where you were on the other post and find your own way to tell her.
Do you guys prefer a third topic or add it on to one of the other two?
New topic. That makes it easier to keep track of what's going on.
Okay I'm in the middle of chores. I'll post a little later.
No Dave...now...
Okay, Odinn7 I did what you told me to do.