I decided, for the Christmas Greeting issue of the paper where I work, to do a review of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. They let me write a monthly bad movie column, which seems to go over pretty well with some readers. I eventually hope to put up all of my old columns on a web site, if I ever find the time. I have about 20. Anyway, last Christmas, I reviewed Santa Claus (the 1959 mexican film) and the Star Wars Holiday Special. Only SCCTM could follow that.
To refresh my memory, I rented SCCTM on the weekend, as I hadn't seen it in years. Now, I've got the theme stuck in my head.
S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S
Hooray for Santy Claus!
He's fat and round
but jumpin' jiminy
he can climb down
any chiminey
Aaaaaaaagh!
Possibly, by writing the review immediately, I might exorcise this demon.
One amusing thing that struck me on seeing SCCTM after so many years. Billy Foster would be about the same age as Bill Foster, played by Michael Douglas in Falling Down.
Imagine Billy, returning from his alien abduction with Santa Claus, is put in therapy and eventually convinced that it never happened. Still, the repressed memory prompts him to go into the defense industry, and causes his irritability. After losing his job and his family, he finally snaps one hot summer day and goes on a rampage in Los Angeles while walking to his little girl's birthday party. It works surprisingly well.
Just went looking for the IMDB listing on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, and discovered that somebody is remaking it! After seeing what Hollywood has done to good old movies and TV shows, what will they do when they try to make this one hip and trendy? Will we get an updated dance version of the theme song from Hell?
There is very little information, but I am somewhat encouraged to see that Ben Edlund and Randolph Heard, of Tick fame, are listed as writers.
Does this have anything to do with that "yumpin' yiminee" thread a couple doors down?
I still have "The Cane Toad Blues" stuck in my head, it is maddening!
Cane toads a coming,
cane toads a coming,
main roads are humming with the cane toad blues.
Cane toads a coming,
cane toads a coming,
main roads are humming with the cane toad blues.
Cane toooaaaddddd,
when you gonna leave me alone?
Heading south,
like a case of foot and mouth.
Cane toooaaaddddd,
you're supposed to set us freeeeeeeeeeeee!
Andrew
I remember hearing about this years ago. Edlund's been working on it for a while, but the new Tick series has understandably delayed it. As far as I can tell, it was Edlund's idea, not a studio's, so it's possible it'll be infused with his quirky, occasionally dark humor, instead of phony "heartwarming" stuff.
Sounds like a pretty catchy tune Andrew, of course I haven't actually heard it.
that hurts
Here's
a snippet from
the review.Don't say I didn't warn you.
Andrew