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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Mr. Lobo on September 07, 2005, 05:37:39 PM

Title: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 07, 2005, 05:37:39 PM
Things You Never Knew About Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet (1965)

by Mr. Lobo


*   Exploitation maven Roger Corman and his associates took an obscure Soviet science fiction movie, dubbed it, re-edited it, and added extra footage to make Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet and several other American releases including Voyage To The Planet Of Prehistoric Women, Voyage To The Bottom Of The Prehistoric Planet, Destroy All Prehistoric Planets, From The Prehistoric Planet With Love, The Seventh Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet Of Sinbad, and the madcap comedy It's A Prehistoric, Prehistoric, Prehistoric, Prehistoric, Planet!
 
*   Venus is the sixth worst-dubbed planet in the Solar System.
 
*   The majority of the footage in the film was from Planeta Burg or (Planet of Storms) made by the Leningrad Studio of Popular Science Films. Other films made by that great Soviet studio include My Helmet Is Sad, A Cow For Every Rocket, and Another Planet Conquered - Another Nail In The Coffin of Imperialism.
 
*   Venus and Earth are often referred to as sister planets because the size, density, mass, rock quarries, artificial plants, bad acting and fog machines of both worlds are startlingly similar.
 
*   The high temperature of Venus is created by greenhouse gases emitted from visiting astronauts who consume nothing but borscht and vodka.
 
*   In reality, Venus would have a cold climate if Faith Domergue talked to it long enough.
 
*   The planet Venus is named after the Roman goddess of pointless dialogue.
 
*   The atmospheric pressure on the surface of Venus is 90 times the pressure of disappointed film distributors who asked, "Where are the damn Aliens in this film?!"
 
*   Robot John was sued by Robby the Robot (Forbidden Planet, 1957) for stealing his act. It was settled out of court for a case of SAE 30 weight Pennzoil.
 
*   Like the movie Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet, the real Venus is dry with flat plains, rocky areas, occasional depressions, and a slow rotation.
 
*   Similar to the composition of Earth, Venus is composed of a molten rocky mantle with a core of papier mache.
 
*   The rotation of Venus is very slow... therefore, watching 2 hours of any movie that takes place on Venus is consumes the equivalent of 243 Earth movie hours.
 
*   The rotation is also opposite from that of Earth, which may cause you to fall asleep before it starts rather than after it ends.
 
*   As a result of the space race, the planet Venus has been visited by over 20 spacecrafts, The American "Mariner 2" in 1962, The Soviet "Venera 7" in 1970, The Japanese "Yamato" in 1983, The French "LeProbe 6" in 1998, and next year Australia plans to tie a beer can to a balloon.
 
*   After finding clues that stone-age type civilization might have once existed on Venus, the cosmonauts speculate that Martians might have tried to colonize Venus, but after watching some of Roger Corman's films slipped back into a more primitive state!
 
*   The Film is set in 2020, many years after the retirement of Hugh Downs and Barbara Walters from the show.
 
*   The real environment of Venus was hot, poisonous, and had violent storms of sulfuric gas - so most of the location shots were actually done on Europa, one of Jupiter's moons.
 
*   The flying car in the film was sold to Russia from a World's Fair exhibit. The 1959 Ford Tomorrowagon was a flop in America due to the fact that it was said to be powered by the despair of children. (The Soviet Government was more okay with that.)
 
*   The film was shot in Fade-O-Color.
 
*   This film singlehandedly lengthened the cold war between the US and Russia by 20 years.
 
*   After the stylish space suits for Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet hit the runways in Paris, silver Moon boots became outdated and dowdy almost overnight.
 
*   The fuzzy-mouthed, tentacled plant that attacks the astronaut at the beginning of the film was rumored to have torrid offscreen affairs with almost all of the male cast members.
 
*   This film is filled with scary prehistoric-type monsters, most notably Faith Domergue and Basil Rathbone.
 
*   Corman added Faith Domergue and Basil Rathbone - and you can tell, because they never get involved in the action and the radios they use to communicate with the astronauts say "Fisher Price" on them.
 
*   The surface of of Venus is 80% carbon dioxide, 6% eerie atmosphere, 5% film grain, 4% haunting music, and 3% nitrogen, with traces of hot air.
 
*   Rabbits and rats are physiologically unable to vomit.
 
*   Although Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet and First Spaceship On Venus are often thought of as the same movie, one of the films is the story of a brave rocket crew and a robot who land on the hostile planet Venus and face unforeseen challenges and the possibility of intelligent beings whom they never meet face-to-face. I don't remember which one...
 
*   On film there have been 136 "first missions" to Venus.
 
*   Faith Domergue and Basil Rathbone perform on sets left over from Roger Corman's Queen Of Blood and on talent left over from Sherlock Holmes and This Island Earth.
 
*   The clouds in Venus' atmosphere reflect 65% of the sunlight that reaches it. Thus, Venus is apparently the brightest body connected to this movie.
 
*   The floating car is attacked by an giant pterodactyl-like flying reptile. Scholars assume this species migrated to earth and was called Gappa in the film Monster From The Prehistoric Planet.
 
*   A subtitled version of the Russian original was started, but the typist fell asleep.
 
*   In Russia they shot an earlier version of this film with all the astronauts getting eaten alive by the rubber dinosaurs, but it tested too well with audiences - so The Peoples Bureau of Cheerless Films forced the director to re-cut it.
 
*   Marsha's propeller-driven comand module was designed by The Wright Brothers.
 
*   The Soviet astronauts enjoy a good laugh when they discover the Venusian civilization was so amazingly primative that they actually worshiped a God.
 
*   The lonely astronaut who finds a female face carved in a Venusian rock, just before violent quakes force them to take off, never said "We can't go! They're like us..." - he actually said "Webelos, they like fudge!". No one knows why.
 
*   The American version of the film added new footage of the great Basil Rathbone and Faith Domergue to increase its appeal for a U.S. audience. But since that didn't work the new footage taken out again, and newer footage was added with Mamie Van Doren and several other gorgeous blondes laying around on rocks by the Venusian ocean and released again in 1968 as Voyage To the Planet Of Prehistoric Women - and when that didn't work the original footage was thrown out and straight porn was added to the Mamie Van Doren footage and it was released again in 1971 as Voyeurs of the Peep-A-Delic Playgirls.
 
*   It's no secret that until comparatively recent times, Venus was thought by the scientific community to be an earthlike planet. Fortunately, today's scientists have stopped going to the movies.

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: AndyC on September 07, 2005, 07:15:14 PM
Funny, as always. And double spaced too. I'm really glad you did that, otherwise it would have been entirely without merit :)

Seriously, I always love to see another one of these posts.



Post Edited (09-07-05 19:16)
Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: odinn7 on September 08, 2005, 08:43:20 AM
Even though you caved to the pressure and put spaces in as the whiny cat cried about, Mr. Lobo, this was great. One of these facts that you have got me laughing and I'm still chuckling about it:

* Venus and Earth are often referred to as sister planets because the size, density, mass, rock quarries, artificial plants, bad acting and fog machines of both worlds are startlingly similar.

Do you write these yourself?

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Flangepart on September 08, 2005, 11:10:45 AM
Dude, it amazes me he can up with so much, and not repeat the same jokes!
I IS impressed!

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 08, 2005, 11:45:10 AM
Greetings Odinn7,
Thank you for the kind words. These lists have been quite a mental exercise for Mr. Lobo. For the most part it's all me some movies they just flow in other cases...I might make few phone calls to friends to get the juices flowing. Bounce a few off them...get a couple ideas. All these movies I've shown on Cinema Insomnia and i know them pretty well and have made jokes about them on the show. I try not to duplicate jokes from my show...but subconciously I think still I do. Part of the joke is the density and length of the list...so I don't throw any ideas away. I'll let the reader decide which are funny and which are not. people seem to only remember the ones they like, anyway.

Your Horror host,
Mr. Lobo

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: trekgeezer on September 08, 2005, 11:53:01 AM
I wonder if some Russian holds the patent on the Fade-O-Color technology?

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 08, 2005, 05:56:44 PM
They sold it to the Phillipines.

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 09, 2005, 08:41:42 PM
I'm impressed that you guys care about this stuff! I'm Hoping these lists will generate more interest in my show and the films we feature each week on UATV. I just finished the one next weeks episode...SuperArgo(1968).

Have any of you gentlemen heard of it?

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Flangepart on September 13, 2005, 05:01:22 PM
Its your use of the word "Gentelmen" thats causes the stunned silence...confuses us, don't cha know...

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 13, 2005, 05:45:19 PM
Sorry, Snagglepuss.

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Just Plain Horse on September 15, 2005, 07:12:06 PM
Mr. Lobo wrote:

> Things You Never Knew About Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet
> (1965)
>
> by Mr. Lobo
>  
> *   The floating car is attacked by an giant pterodactyl-like
> flying reptile. Scholars assume this species migrated to earth
> and was called Gappa in the film Monster From The Prehistoric
> Planet.
>  

Ironically, Gappa prints I've seen have the exact opposite problem; too dark and murky. Both are badly dubbed and suck royally, though.

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 15, 2005, 08:55:08 PM
Gappa Gappa, hey!

Yeah, it's dark and murky. But It's like watching scrambled porn...You just have to use your imagination more.

We did "Monster From A Prehistoric Planet" on Cinema Insomnia and it turned out to be a pretty good episode...It seems the worst movies make the best shows.

Your Horror Host
Mr. Lobo

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Gerry on September 16, 2005, 11:06:42 AM
Mr. Lobo wrote:

> We did "Monster From A Prehistoric Planet" on Cinema Insomnia
> and it turned out to be a pretty good episode...It seems the
> worst movies make the best shows.

It is one of the best. I laughed a lot, especially all the shoe polish comments.
Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 16, 2005, 04:35:26 PM
We have an improved version of the DVD availible at The Movie Crypt.

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Just Plain Horse on September 17, 2005, 09:03:07 AM
Mr. Lobo wrote:

> Gappa Gappa, hey!
>
> Yeah, it's dark and murky. But It's like watching scrambled
> porn...You just have to use your imagination more.
>
> We did "Monster From A Prehistoric Planet" on Cinema Insomnia
> and it turned out to be a pretty good episode...It seems the
> worst movies make the best shows.
>
> Your Horror Host
> Mr. Lobo
>

Alpha Beta Gappa Sorority: shoe polish, optional :)

The big difference between Gappa and scrambled porn: scrambled porn doesn't make me long for a Godzilla movie.

The first two scenes where the monsters were hidden from full view by the murkiness were rather "atmospheric" and made the monsters seem slightly more ominous... the rest of the time, it just sucked. Of course, it doesn't help that they look like rejects from Sesame Street. "AH! Big effeminant yellow bird going to destroy Japan! Why do our voices not match lip movements? Will Mothra again fight for us even though she'll be killed in a matter of minutes? Run in dignified manner, trying to keep straight face!"

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 17, 2005, 12:35:25 PM
Gappy Day
Chasing the Crowds away
On my way
To crush the air force fleet
Can you tell me how to stomp
How to stomp to Henshin Street

It's magic Kaiju ride
giant mouths will open wide
for tiny people like you

tiny people like
what a beautiful
Gappy day

chasing the crowds away
frightened faces there
with dubbed in screams
can you tell me how to stomp
How to stomp to Henshin Street

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Just Plain Horse on September 19, 2005, 09:44:18 AM
Things I thought I learned from "Monster from a Prehistoric Planet":

*Long titles cannot a bad movie improve*

*Despite "Gojira" and "Gappa" having only the difference of one letter, they are about as similar as the XY and XX chromosome combos are to each other*

*Japanese are the ultimate racists, using shoe polish for blacks and the "manga eyes" for whites*

*The "token gaijin" only furthers this observation...*

*Most kaiju movies should not be stretched beyond 70 minutes... the lesser the monster, the shorter the time frame*

*Japanese culture is made up of three layers: Greedy businessmen, Annoying Children & Intensely Stupid and Condescending Grunts... The Children run the military in times of crisis, and the Grunts do all the work the Businessmen take credit for*

*Yelling "Stupid Brunt Lizard!" can actually jump-start volcanoes in some areas of the Far East*

*It sucks to be an island native*

*Caging and tormenting a strange animal is called "research" in Japan*

*A woman's fickleness is an adaptive trait used for survival in times of crisis; the more times she changes her mind, the greater the threat*

*It is believed that this movie was used to evaluate mental instability: People who couldn't stand hearing the word "Gappa" repeated ad nauseum were judged mentally incompetant and were subjected to individual evalutation and were institutionalized*

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Gerry on September 19, 2005, 01:06:46 PM
The ultimate Gappa movie quote:

Diapers (http://www.scifilm.org/wav/monsterprehistoric.wav)
Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 19, 2005, 01:50:13 PM
If only more women would adopt that attitude...

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Just Plain Horse on September 19, 2005, 03:51:26 PM
The thing that bothers me is, they adopt a new attitude every 15 to 20 minutes. Ever hear about being decisive?

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Flangepart on September 20, 2005, 10:11:27 AM
I recomend the Tokyoshock version of GAPPA. The original cast voice track, and the japanese theme music is MUCH snazzier! I'd use it in place of the yank version. And they used a good print with deecent sound.
Tell me...am i the only one, who, when watching V. to a Prehistoric planet, when i see the space buggy, want to say "SUPERCAR!...SUPERCAR!"

Title: Re: Things You Never Knew about VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
Post by: Mr. Lobo on September 20, 2005, 10:19:02 PM
Thanks for the info...and I thought tat hovercar looked familiar. We used the Supercar open as a joke in the Cinema Insomnia version of Superwheels. You can watch that episode free online at the CI fansite
http://www.mrlobosknights.com.