Tough luck (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41676), I guess.
This problem isn't isolated to Pittsburgh, either. Our state capital Denver & the borough of Longmont are woefully inadequite when it comes to zombie preparedness. In fact, the latest city budget proposals are slashing funding to the bone --
peter johnson/denny crane
That's why I'm glad I live in IOWA.
Oh, I don't doubt for a moment that it wouldn't be difficult getting out of the city I live in...if it were filled with zombies.
We could take my car...assuming we could get to it.
I park in a parkade that spirals downward and is very narrow.
Hopefully it'd be clear of zombies...
I can fit 4 in the seats and maybe 1-2 in my hatch.
My car would likely be one where the hatch got torn off and my friends looked out the back of it with guns.
Once out in the open Iowa countryside...My friends and I...all armed to the teeth...might have a chance.
But one rule would be obeyed....No going into the cornfields!
I shudder when I imagine the "stenches" walking in cornfields.
To be in a cornfield with the walking dead would be horrifying...especially at night.
If you've ever walked in a tall cornfield...you know what I'm talking about.
Post Edited (10-25-05 00:23)
Now that's what I call news!
I wonder whether minivans would stand up better than station wagons? I think the hardware stores that sell chainsaws would see a huge upswing in business over the short term...
What a great article. If only more news was this informative and entertaining!
:-P
I wonder how major cities/countries around the world would rate on a 'Prepare for Zombies' Survey, and what factors would be important in such a study. That would be really interesting, especially if it was even semi-serious!
Population density is a big one methinks.
ASHTHECAT wrote:
> That's why I'm glad I live in IOWA.
> Once out in the open Iowa countryside...My friends and I...all
> armed to the teeth...might have a chance.
Two words for you Ash: Zombie Cows.
Heck, even worse: Zombie Pigs.
Just imagine a big mass of those things coming at you. The cows would really be awful, feeling them try to gnaw through your skull with their blunt plant-masticating teeth. I wonder if they would just take to stomping heads apart and gathering up the morsels with their hideous tongues.
Andrew wrote:
> ASHTHECAT wrote:
>
> Two words for you Ash: Zombie Cows.
>
> Heck, even worse: Zombie Pigs.
Hmmm... the idea of zombie farm animals! Could make for an interesting film...
But the cows probably won't be too much of a problem: since their instincts lead them to eat grass rather than warm meat [like us humans] their wild hunger will be directed to the very grass we walk on. That is of course if we are going by the whole 'Zombies are just re-animated corpses driven by primal instincts' school of thought.
But then again, the idea of Zombie Grass is a truly frightening one. Especially considering how completely silly it is!
But speaking of farm animals, Zombie Sheep would perhaps be the creepiest: lots of mangy fur, some with bits of fur with clumps of skin attached falling out as it walked. It would make for a truly horrifying sight!
New Zealand would be in for quite a bit of trouble if that happened!
...or zombie squirrels.
Anyway, my father lives in Pittsburgh. I wonder if he has seen this article. Perhaps I should send it to him so he can be aware of the problem.
Andrew wrote:
> Two words for you Ash: Zombie Cows.
>
> Heck, even worse: Zombie Pigs.
>
> Just imagine a big mass of those things coming at you. The
> cows would really be awful, feeling them try to gnaw through
> your skull with their blunt plant-masticating teeth. I wonder
> if they would just take to stomping heads apart and gathering
> up the morsels with their hideous tongues.
>
That's when I hop into the nearest combine and slice those cows to pieces!
Can you imagine the mess that'd make!?
The spout that usually sprays corn and soybeans into the back hopper would spray blood & guts!
Yeah!
Zombi E.Coli.....it can find ya anywhere!
I think the plains would be a terrible place to be attacked by ZOmbies, no natural features to use for defense or to direct the zombie attack They would simply come in from every direction
peter johnson wrote:
> In fact, the latest city budget proposals are slashing funding to the bone
> --
> peter johnson/denny crane
Ouch.
Zombie cats. They'd still ignore you.
Any place that experiences rush hour traffic would be a bad place to be during a zombie attack/alien invasion/meteor strike......