Why anybody would make a movie of my life, I don't know. Commercial suicide, I guess.
Anyway, the conversation at work turned towards this topic. For the role of my life, I was pushing for Danny DeVito, but everybody decided I had to be played by Norm MacDonald.
This was not my decision, but Norm has haunted me for a while. I first started my job about the time MacDonald had his show, and one guy always wanted me to say "Hello, weiner dog." I have a fairly monotone voice and a deadpan delivery, so there you go.
(I did spend one night at a party where one guy started yelling at me how I looked exactly like Norm MacDonald. If you've seen my Frappr photo, you know that's not true. I'll grant you the voice thing, but only if you were very drunk would you ever confuse me with that guy.)
So anyway, who would play you in the movie of your life? Please, try to avoid those wish-fulfillment thingies. I've seen your photos. There are no Brad Pitt's here. Maybe a Shemp Howard or two, but no Pitts.
Anybody live up to the sheer charisma of Danny DeVito?
Interesting!
I think Bruce Campbell could have my smart ass attitutde.
The only role I've seen Jack Armstrong in is his Carl Denham, he could play my ethusticatic side.
Bruce Lee can play my bad ass side.
Any of the people who wore the Godzilla suit will be my beastly side.
When Tom Cruise was doing MAd Max he could be my handsome side.
Arnold S. could be my action star gun side.
Sean Connery/Timothy Dalton/ Pierec Bronsmon for my suave side.
Harisson Ford will play my rough tough guy.
Client Eastwood will be my Western tough guy.
David Hayter for my voice.
Willis 'OBrian and Ray Harryhusen can do the special effects.
(since I've turned back the clock already) Jim Varney can have a cameo.
Years ago, in grad school, I had very long hair and a spare pair of glasses that I wore camping, rock climbing and stuff. I was told by many people that I was the spitting image of Dana Carvey's Garth. ('cept my hair is brown).
I guess they thought I act kinda goofy, too.
Any good 'nerd' type; for my classroom presence (back when I was teaching), I'd be honored to be represented by Ben Stein.
When I was younger, thinner, and had a mustache, people used to tell me I was a dead ringer for Wally Cox. It's kind of a shame that he wouldn't be able to portray me in a movie. It's an even bigger shame that I have absolutely no idea who Wally Cox is.
After spending the evening flipping this over in my head, I've determined that I would best be portrayed by Russell Crowe in a movie directed by David Lynch and produced by Michael Nesmith, with an original screenplay by John Cleese.
No, wait a minute...
It would have to be someone short, mean and wierd......Janeane Garofalo, or Fairuza Balk.
As a younger man folks told me I looked like Ilya from "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." and in the last few years (as to how I act) it's been a toss-up between Will Farrell and Mister White Folk from "Pimp's Up, Ho's Down".
I'll go with Will Farrell.
It would have to be someone short, mean and wierd
Danny Devito again?
Yeah, actually, that would work. I look more DeVitoish than anything....
When I was younger, David Niven, especially when I was wearing a tux and still had my moustache.
Now, Nicholas Cage has my hairline, but would need to gain a few pounds to fit my waistline. I defy anyone to say Nicholas Cage is even remotely sexy.
Tor Johnson, if he were still around, would have the look, but would probably need his voice overdubbed by someone more articulate.
Vincent d'Onofrio, after getting some of his weight back on and shave part of his head.
Hmmm...toughie...
Crispin Glover? He's kind of "out there".
Lee Majors? I always wanted to be the Bionic Man but in this case I could be palyed by one.
Kate Beckinsale? I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off me throughout the entire movie.
Seriously, I can't think of any stars that really look like me but I would say Crispin because of some of the characters he has played. He could probably do my character pretty well. He'd have to shave most of his head though.
odinn7 Wrote:
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> Seriously, I can't think of any stars that really
> look like me but I would say Crispin because of
> some of the characters he has played. He could
> probably do my character pretty well. He'd have to
> shave most of his head though.
Well, that explains the ball cap :)
The only guy I can think of that looks like me is rapper Fat Joe.
AndyC Wrote:
>
> Well, that explains the ball cap
In a nutshell, yes.
I also wear the hat to cover the scarring that appears from putting my head through a windshield back in '96.
6 of one, half dozen of the other. You pick.
I'll just walk away now, which is hard to do with my foot in my mouth.
Don't worry about it AndyC, no big deal.
Woody Allen
Adam West
Michael Richards
Dan Aykroyd
Don Knotts
Don Adams
I have the answer, Odinn. You could be played by Terry O'Quinn. He kind of fits the basic physical description, or he used to.
Of course, some scenes would need to be rewritten to suit Mr. O'Quinn. For example, the squirrel would chase your daughter through the woods and into a trap, at which point you'd kill it with a knife.
Oh...the Stepfather guy. Sure, that would work well. Perhaps the scene could just be me grabbing the squirrel and biting a chunk out of his neck.
I like it.
Hey, I just noticed -- Odinn....O'Quinn....It's meant to be.
The real question here is "WHY would anyone play me in a movie?"
Hmmm, as a younger, thinner, more haired me I would not have minded Cary Elwes. Sadly, I now reseble an ungodly combination of Food TV's Alton Brown and Mario Batali. My mother-in-law says I look like someone from the Country music world named "Cletus" . ANYONE who snickers, giglles or agrees will have their hard drive crash.
-Ed
Cast to play me in the movie of my life:
Giovanni Ribisi (whom I most resemble, 'cept he ain't purdy enuff)
John Karlen (Willie Loomis from dark Shadows)
Ted Edwards (they way he played his character in 1934's Maniac)
I can see where Cillian Murphy could be a good fit sometimes too.
Of course I would just play myself and outshine them all.