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  I saw this when I was a kid and liked Star Wars and even then I couldn't finish watching it. I remember the "Wookie Porn" quite clearly.

I like to describe this monstrosity to people because no matter how much you bash it people just don't believe it's as bad as it is. It's only once you're watching it that you find yourself saying: Okay this is really awful, but it can't possibly get any worse... okay this is worse, but it couldn't get any more disturbing... okay, this is more disturbing, but it couldn't possibly get worse than this... etc etc. It's fun to watch people's faces as they experience this.

The thing that stuns me the most is that it got made at all. I mean, there were meetings about this, groups of people getting together to discuss whether Chewbacca's son should be named "Lumpy" or "Dumpy" or "Little Freak Mutant." Someone had to think up costumes. Writers sat around hammering out the script. And how on earth did they convince Diane Carrol to star in Wookie porn?!

I do remember this. I remember the 10,000 commercials pumping it ahead of time. I remember watching it, with Star Wars figures (all 4 of them!) in tow on the couch. For the life of me, I can't figure out how anybody made it through the whole thing. I'm sure viewers, at that time, kept telling themselves... "ok, it's about to pick up the pace" ... "ok, pretty soon now, it'll get better"...

I'm also amazed at what a "Star Wars Crazed" little kid will sit through. I guess before the internet, a kid could only see Luke and Han at A. the movies or B. the Christmas special. It really was a sad joke on the public that made appreciated and loved the first film. I'm sure it all came down to marketing.

My question to all is this... do you think it was perceived to be the total sh!t we perceive it as now, or do you think public expectations were much lower back then?

Regardless, happy it got reviewed. It's piece of my childhood.

Well, it IS Star Wars and it's really a shame that Mr. Luca$$$
will never release this on DVD. Ok, it's boring, but hey, it's a part of what we all like!
so why not do a Special Edition wirl up to date effects and bonus material???? And of course the original version.
Many fans want it, and buy bad bootleg copies of it, so why not make it official??? Very stange. This is truly a must for all SW fans

Welllly wellly well. I remember when this came on TV way back in the day and I was too young to stay up and watch all of it.
For years I have felt deprived. I saw up to were Lumpy got in trouble for playing with his X-wing and that was it. Not sure if I'm lucky or not. I mean. When you say it sucks I feel the urge to find a copy and see it. Anyone who wants to part with their copy can send it to me. I'll take it off your hands. My buds and myself all meet up once a months to drink beer, Vodka and watch bad Sci Fi movies. Most of which we find on here first. THANKS ANDREW! OOOhhhrraaahhh! Devil Dog.

I will say this. From the sounds of it, the Star Wars Moppet special was infinitely better. You guys should check out the long lost TV show Wizards and Warriors. It kicks ass.

While I have heard of it, I have yet to see it,  but, I must make a point of watching it, after reading Andrew's review of it. If for no other reason, then this has to be his funniest film review--yet.

As an afterthought, how fortunate we are, that at the 19-minute mark, Lumpy is an immature male, instead of a mature female. Otherwise, we would have a new meaning for the words "dish fetish."

In the words of Darth Vader in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith - "Noooooooooo!!!!"That was my reaction when watching this. Now, I love Star Wars, my whole life is Star Wars but as soon as i bought this bootleg dvd on the internet - urrrrgghh. I have no desire to watch this movie again. Ever! If you do have a british copy, be sure to have the one with the Geordie (Newcastle) edition, the mark hamill muppet show episode and all the toy commercials, they much more worth watching than this!

Yup I also have the displeasure of seeing this..it's like a badge you wear... the holday special club.
   
      Thats why they had the wampa slash at lukes face in empire..because it was scarred up and looked different then in a new hope.

     

That's horrible! Why can't they just leave star wars in the dark coffin, where it was, since 1999?

I'm really torn about "The Star Wars Holdiay Special".  

Deep down, I know it was  areally bad tie-in/cash-in on "Star Wars" and everything was done badly right down the line (aside from the cartoon segment).  But then again, this IS a part of the SW canon (albeit unacknowledged) and should be watched by anyone who considers themselves a SW fan.  

I've seen it myself and even remember being one of the drooling SW geeks awaiting its premiere back in '78.  I guess, in a perverse way, I like it.  But dang, if only it had turned out better.

Great review, as usual.

-George

P.S. - it was completely unfair that you got thrown out of there for asking such an inevitable question.  But hey, if you hadn't, someone else would have.

I saw this when it was broadcast on TV way back when.  I was 13 then, and even though my powers of discerning quality production were not well developed, I remember my stunned reaction to this foul heap.  "How could they make something so awful?" I thought with mountains of disappointment.

Other painful recollections that come flooding back:  Being confused and disturbed by Luke's makeup (I wasn't even sure it was him), the presence of Bea Arthur (MAUDE?????)

(Sorry, I hit a wrong button and it submitted prematurely.)

As I was painfully recollecting:  The godawful skit with Harvey Korman (HARVEY KORMAN????), the disappointing appearance of Art Carney (how the great have fallen!), and the very disturbing vision of Princess Leia singing.  Oh, plus the effeminate look of Chewbacca's son, and the mangy old grandfather, who I seem to recall was treated rather shabbily by the rest of the hairy gang.  Thankfully I have NO recollection of the wookie porn <shudder>.

Yes, this thing was bad.  I remember that the cast of Star Wars also did a ditty on the Donny and Marie Show.  There was singing in that one too, although I don't that it was as bad as this monstrosity.  Boo Yah!!

Here it is in glorious infamy. The piece of STAR WARS history that made George Lucas put a paper bag over his head in utter shame (even though I dont think he had anything to do with this mess i dont know). Anyhow this crap has Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia, and she's does something that is supposed to be singing, but sounds like the eqivalent of a group of alley cats on a fence. Plus Mark Hamill as Luke in what appears to be .... eye makeup? Someone for the love of God, get me a lightsaber. Amusing this is not! Watch at your own risk.

4 words Star Wars Rip off

Life is good. BadMovies.org tackles the Star Wars Holiday Special. And to anyone who is wondering about the Mark Hamill makeup, Hamill was involved in a bad crash (I don't remember if it was motorcycle or car) that did some serious damage to his face. The makeup was to cover the still fresh scars.

And phooey on that LucasFilm guy who had you tossed!

When I finnally found this video I was so excited to finnally see the mythic Star Wars Christmas speciel. Now I would give anything to have that day wiped from my memory. I still have nightmares of Bea Arthur singing and Chewbacca's family doing anything. If you are a fan of Star Wars I suggest not watching it because you will never see the characters in the same way again. If you are a fan of not being in horrendous amounts of mental and physical pain, I suggest also not seeing it becuase it does suck that much. If your not a fan of either watch away.

From this day forward, I, the Arm Commander, hereby banish this lame excuse for a Star Wars special into the factory of the Inferno, where it will be melted to slag by the machines. SO speaks he the Arm!

I have this on gray-market DVD.  I've had it for about two or three years now.  AND I STILL can't bring myself to watch it.

Yes, Cloudsong, "Fight the Frizzies" came from Parker and Stone's bootleg tape of this...event.

Listen, some images just should not appear in nature - wookie porn, Princess Leia singing, Bea Arthur, Art Carney, Harvey Korman - I mean it hurts one's brain to even try to imagine those things. The only thing I can think of that's more ludicrous is trying to visualize Mr. Spock eating an ice cream cone...

I saw this when it was broadcast. I kept waiting, and waiting for it to get good, it was STAR WARS, STAR WARS in the name of God!
A piece of me died that day, and has made the man I am today, the bitter, bitter man.

As bad as it was (and it was BAD), I believe that it was also the death ot what was once refered to as "Variety Shows" (most of which starred Tim Conway, Bea Arthur and Harvey Corman).  "If" anyone is interested in seeing this "montrosity", I actually have it on DVD (converted from a half decent VHS copy).  Email me if you'ld like to see it.

Thankfully I have only seen a short clip of this catastophe (Carrie Fisher singing) and that stopped any desire to see the whole version.

This wookie porn sounds terrible!

You neglected to mention the holographic Cirque de Soliel that Lumpy watches for "entertainment", or the Star Wars cartoon that evidently is broadcast throughout the galaxy far, far away.  (Evidently the Empire doesn't have cable, so they aren't aware who the characters are...)
I love this awful piece of drek, because it shows, more than SPLINTER OF THE MIND'S EYE even, that there was no master story arc developed well-ahead of time by Senor Lucas, as so many SW-fans still believe.  I give it to them for Christmas (wishing them Happy Life Day!) just so I can see them crushed and embarassed after watching it.
Okay, I'm evil, I realize that.  But when George said that THE HIDDEN FORTRESS wasn't the influence for Star Wars, I lost all respect.
Happy Life Day!  

Well, I think when I watched this movie I felt my life shorten just a bit. This was so terrible it gave me a tooth ahce! Lol. If you love bad movies then get this movie. In it Mark Hamill is wearing so much make-up that he looks like a Ken doll!

Earlier this week, Harrison Ford was on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, and Conan asked him about the Holiday Special. Harrison rolled his eyes, and tried to say that he'd never seen it. But, Conan was ready; "Really? Well, great then, here's a clip!" They showed the part when Han finally shows up for Life Day, and tells the Wookiees, in deadly seriousness, that they're "like family to me", and the littlest one looks at him with, as Conan described it, "...love in his eyes! That lil' Wookiee is in LOVE!" Harrison reached across the desk and started vigorously (play) choking him!

Yes Mr. Ford:

No matter how many serious films or how many awards you get, the Star Wars Holiday Special will forever remain a hideous stain on your career that you will never wash off!!  MUHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

I just can't believe my fellow Marine let himself be escorted
away by a convention toadie. Just Kidding! They can't treat their fans this way. At every Dragon Com and Star Wars convention. We must put out Life Day fliers.

It's a true statement of the suckness of a project when the official Lucasfilm ambassadors turn all icy Nazi on your ass at its mention. The only redeeming thing was the brief appearance of Boba Fett. Holiday special "fans" rejoice, you can find it by scouring the internet. I downloaded it through Bearshare. Oy, the pain !!!

Lucus had made a string of bad movies since Star Wars came out. Howard the Duck just being one of them. Twice upon a Time, American Graffiti (Though I think that came out first.), Willow, and shoot let me think. I had a list in a magazine. It will be forth coming. I have noticed that he seems to do his best to make sure that many of his crappy movies get forgotten. In truth. I recall Dune being written before Star Wars. I heard that is wife did most of the story lines for the Star Wars movies. At least the first three
made. When it came to character development and inter-personal relationships. By most accounts,he has a real hard time dealing with his fellow humans. Being so shy. Most of his ideas come from other sources. Very little of his own creation. Thus Dune inspiring a hunk of Star Wars. European Folklore and such. Most movies he has done on his own suck. It's like him and Spielberg are stuck in the seventies. Spielberg's movies are always corny, politically correct to the point that his motivations are suspect, (Like him being pro gun control while owning the largest assault rifle collection in North America.) and just downright intelligence insulting. Congo being the most blatant example. With it's laughable black Great White Hunter. But anyhow. I have come to view Star Wars more as a fluke than the work of a creative mind. When I find that list I'll post them. Quite the sad sorry procession of Idiotchildren.

Man, and I thought "Manos" the Hands of Fate was bad.  Thoroughly unwatchable.

Horrid, horrid, putrid, and horrid!
Dispicable!
Oh, cheesecake!  What a bad movie!
Though the old furball was kind of cute.
Hehehehehe....

Never saw this fine film, but from the above mentioned comments, I'll be sure to keep an eye out for it. Seems as a child I managed to get away scott-free with things I soulda been busted on and given a sound ass beating. I'll view this movie as a penance for all the misdeeds I got away with. And count it as Karma for any future misdeeds.

My God...that was supposed to live up to the other Star Wars movies... I mean that was worse than Episode One
Forshame

I don't remember if I saw this or not. I was about 6 years old when this came out. I do remember wanting to see it. I think that I may have either watched part of it and fell asleep or watched the whole thing and blocked the memory. This review gave me vague bells going off my head of some deep repressed memory.

This is my first post to your site. Great job! Great reviews!! Excellent site!!!

I remember seeing this for the first time...I was at a bar and they were doing a "showing" of this.  Now I know why...they needed to boost their beer sales.  It had to of work 'cause no one would want to watch this SOBER.

Another thing that came to my mind...Why would we WANT to watch Grandpa wookie watch(which is what it is) Wookie Porn?!?!

At that moment I wanted to stap my eyes out with my fingers!!!

AAAaaAAarrRggghHHH!!!

I have yet to see it, and for some reason which I am not sure of there is a part of me that wants to go see how bad it is. 

My co worker actually won a copy of it at a wrestling show some time in the past and said it was awful. 

Thanks for a great review that nonetheless failed to scare me away.

I may have a new purpose in life, that is, to show this to anyone who thinks luc- A$$ lost his integrity only recently.

I just cant imagine C3PO in a santa outfit and a sleigh drawn by eight tiny banthas :bounce.giggle:

I heard that it was actually Lucas' idea, but then he got caught up making "Empire" and it was left to a group of novice producers at the studio.  Lucas was none too happy when he saw the result and has tried to deny it's existance ever since.

the Holiday special in all its glory has been uploaded to

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=323909610753051544 (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=323909610753051544)

enjoy the pain

 :drink:
     How did this cinematic abortion get made?  I think the answer can reduced to one word: DRUGS!  It was the 1970s.  Everyone was inhaling dunes of cocaine.  I imagine conversations like this went on in the writers room: "Hey! *snort*  How 'bout we get that chick from "Maude" to run the cantina? *snurff* Yeah! And a scene where an old wookie dude gets off on porn! *snorgle*  Sounds great! Lets do it!"

What's hilarious is I watched a version of this on youtube with all the filler scenes cut out, so you had nothing but the main plot.  How was it funny, you ask?

It only lasted 5 minutes.

how long is the movie?

 :drink: 1.5 hours. :drink:

This is not a joke.  out of 90 minutes of film, 85 minutes was filler and bull.  What were these guys THINKING?!?! :question:

I must write this to cleanse my soul of the unspeakable horror that is the SWHS.  I have seen many bad films:  Plan 9 From Outer Space, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Terror of Tiny Town, The Beast of Yucca Flats.  None of them prepared me for this.  Recalling the cries of wookies, the eldritch horror of Harvey Corman's volcanic head, and Bea Arthur's dans macabre, I must forget what I have seen or surrender to madness.

"The most merciful thing in the world... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."  - H.P. Lovecraft

Honestly, I enjoyed the prequel films, almost as much as the originals.  I don't think they were a bad move at all.  And I'm glad they've been breathing new life into the franchise.  As far as I'm concerned, Star Wars is back and better than ever! :teddyr:

This, on the other hand...
Well, it just doesn't fit into the life in the movies at the time!  Not much I can say about this that hasn't been said.

One thing I'd like to note is how one of the Imperial officers announces that due to suspected Rebel activities, the galaxy is to be placed under martial law.
Well, to the family, it's just another normal day!  Vader really needs to strangle that officer to death, since he apparently forgot that the galaxy already is under martial law and has been for over 20 years!! :bouncegiggle:

What kind of world do we live in where stuff like THIS gets made...instead of SPACEBALLS: THE HOLIDAY SPECIAL?

That would have been so cool, had they taken the opportunity to introduce us STAR WARS fans to the still-never-yet-seen Galactic Emperor himself. Imagine, if you will: It turns out to be...(drum roll)...Adolf Hitler, as portrayed by...(another drum roll)...Mel Brooks! MB even satirizes himself by leading his fellow Imperials in an impromptu musical number, "Springtime For Vader!"

But seriously, what George Lucas should have done was just adapt the original STAR WARS fan novel into a two-hour TV movie. You know...Alan Dean Foster's SPLINTER OF THE MIND'S EYE. At least the plotline would have been decent.

I watched this when it was on network back in the day. I managed to erase all memory of it, except that every so often, the sound bite of Lumpy transmitting 'Return to base." would pop into my head for no apparent reason. This continued for many years. Many, many years.

Its plain the force wasnt with them

I'm pretty sure all of the star wars actors and George Lucas want to take all video  tapes and prints of this and burned them or bury them. This is definitely something George wouldn't bother with a special edition for unless he would just like to remake all of it.

Ahh, the Holiday Special... I saw it in '79, but to this day, don't remember much of the thing. Maybe Han Solo sneaking around to catch the guard unawares, but much of the 'humor' is not in memory.... Perhaps it just as well.
Great review.

I downloaded the RiffTrax version (Mike and the bots from "MST3K's" Sci-Fi channel years) and it's hysterical.  It's PAINFUL to watch without such a buffer.  I was eleven when it aired (not exactly an age when kids have taste) and I remember thinking "WHAAAAAA?!?!?!?!?"

I remember way back when trying to decide if I wanted to watch this (since it involved having to lobby to have the TV on what I wanted to watch over what the rest of the family wanted that night)....going back and forth...yeah it's Star Wars and the people from the film will be in it....but it's only an hour and there's all these other people in it taking up time.

Finally I decided if it was any good they'd probably start showing it every year at Xmas and skipped it....

Didn't see it until the Rifftrax...and I may forgive them for that someday.   :wink:  Heard for years that the only "good part" was the Boba Fett cartoon....  The animation was weird, the story was kind of boring and it infers that Fett is non-humanoid....which we know much later isn't true.   :tongueout:

But really...this show just ads to a question I've been screaming at the heavens for years....WHO KEEPS HIRING FREAKING BRUCE VILANCH AND WHY???????

Seriously, he's supposedly the best comedy writer in the world - to the point that they made a documentary about it - and yet the was a writer on this, he writes the "jokes" at the Oscars (Carrie Fisher is also guilty of that now) and lots of other unfunny crap.

Who does he have pictures of....and is it with a dead girl, a live underage boy or a goat?