Title: GOOD jokes! Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 15, 2011, 02:34:13 PM Post replies where you make jokes where you actually TRY to be funny instead of being corny. I made it because... Hey, why not?
Four nuns line up outside confessional. Nun #1 goes in. Nun #1: "Father, I have sinned." Priest: "What IS this sin?" Nun#1: "I saw a man's penis!" Priest: "Wash eyes with holy water and 5 hail Marys." *Nun #1 leaves and #2 enters* Nun #2: "Father, I have sinned!" Priest: "What did YOU do?" Nun #2: "I've TOUCHED and man's penis!" Priest: "*SIGH* 10 hail Marys and wash your hands in holy water." *Nun #2 leaves and #3 tries to enter. Nun #4 stops her* Nun #4: "Hold it! I'm not going to gargle water you just SAT IN!!" *Priest face palms* Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: Allhallowsday on February 15, 2011, 09:18:06 PM You'd better post that one over in the terrible jokes thread. :wink: :thumbdown:
Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: RCMerchant on February 15, 2011, 09:31:00 PM A drag queen walks into a hillbilly bar. He orders a drink.
Bartender says-"We dont serve yer kind around here! But if you go sit it the back,yer ok." So He sits inna back. A truck driver walks in and says-"Im so hungry,I could eat the ass outta a cow!" The drag queen jumps on the table on all fours-"Moo-moo,big boy!" Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: RCMerchant on February 15, 2011, 09:41:27 PM A guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
Bartender sez-"Cant have a monkey in here!" Guy sez-"Wait-Ill bet $50 that if you set up 10 shot glasses this monkey can p**s into all of them without spilling a drop!" Bartender-"Ill take that bet!" So the dam monkey jumps on the bar and p**ses all over the place. "HAHAHHA! I won! Pay up!" sez the barkeep. Guy sez-"Not a problem-cuz I bet those guys inna back af the bar $200 dollars I could make you laff if a monkey p**ses on yer bar!" :drink: Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: RCMerchant on February 15, 2011, 09:51:22 PM Being i is poo white trash-Im gonna use this one-
How do you find a virgin in Michigan? Find a 13 year old that can run faster than her brother. A Michigander is sittin in his house. Its raining. The roofs leaking. His wife sez- "Why dont you fix the roof?" He sez- "When its raining I cant-and when the the sun's shining-it dont leak." Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: Allhallowsday on February 15, 2011, 10:22:54 PM Did you blow bubbles as a child...???? :question:
He's getting out of prison next week... Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: Allhallowsday on February 15, 2011, 10:29:20 PM Two elderly ladies are in a car; the 92 year old is driving, the 96 year old is in the passenger seat.
They come up to a red light, and speed right through it. The 96 year old thinks... did we just go thru a red light?? They come up to another intersection, and go right through a 2nd red light. The 96 year old thinks... I know we just went through a red light!! They come up to a third intersection and zip right through their third red light!!! The 96 year old turns to the 92 year old and scolds her: "You do realize that we have gone thru the last three red lights?!!!" The 92 year old throws up her hands and replies: "Ohp!! Am I driving??" :question: Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: RCMerchant on February 15, 2011, 10:32:20 PM Ouch! :buggedout:
Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: Allhallowsday on February 15, 2011, 10:37:37 PM Ouch! :buggedout: Oh, c'mon, that joke is funny!!! :bouncegiggle: :question: :bluesad:Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: indianasmith on February 16, 2011, 07:30:27 AM A horse walks into a bar and the bartender sez:
"Hey Buddy, why the long face?" John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender sez: "Hey buddy! Why the long face?" Title: Re: GOOD jokes! Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 16, 2011, 08:58:42 AM WARNING! This joke is a little racist!
-A Mexican, a Muslim, and a White guy find a genie's lamp- Genie: "Make your wishes. You all get one!" Mexican: "I wish me and my people were back in our own Latino countries prospering and being happy." Genie: "Granted!" *Mexican vanishes and his wish comes true* Muslim: "I want the same for MY people! But only for MUSLIM ARABS! I also want a giant wall surrounding the Middle East! 100 miles high, 100 miles thick!" White guy: "Why do you want that?" Muslim: "So my country isn't TAINTED by INFIDELS like YOU!" Genie: "It is done!" *Muslim vanishes and his wish comes true* White guy: "So... All the Muslims are back in their country with a wall that you can't scale or break through?" Genie: "Yes, why?" White guy: "I wish it was full of water!" |