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One of my friends just turned 20.  In conversation with her, I was surprised to learn that she is still a virgin.  It's been so long since I started having sex, and that sex became a normal part of my life, that it seems weird to me to realize that other people haven't had it yet.

Not sure where I'm going with this post.  It guess it just seems odd to me that I'm old enough to have had sex (a lot of it), long-term relationships, and I've even come within an ace of being married, and yet I'm friends with people too young to have experienced any of that.

I feel old.

Delaying sexual activity until adulthood is one of the surest paths out of potentially nightmarish complications early sexual experimentation can produce - pregnancy, abortion, STD's, and the heartbreak of adolescents engaging in an adult relationship when they are still emotionally children.  There is no other mistake (or, if you want to be old fashioned about it, no other sinsin) a young person can commit that is more likely to ruin their adult lives than to become to sexually active too early.  And this is still, despite all that has been done to level the playing field between the genders, more true for girls than for boys.  That being said, the promiscuous a young man is, the harder it is for him to form a healthy, monogamous relationship later in life.

I waited until I was married to have sex.  There was a lot of pressure from my Navy buddies to "lose it" before I went home to get married, and I am very proud of the fact that I refused to do so.  My wife is the only woman I have ever slept with, and as long as she is alive, there will not be another.

I realize that my choices are not those of the majority, but I am still glad I made them.

I was a pretty late bloomer in that department myself and now at 40 I'm sort of glad I avoided all the issues.  It allowed me to travel, experience, and do some growing a child (or STD I guess) would not have allowed me to do.

 Frankly most young brains are not set up for such pressure and complications, and later might be better, as Indy alluded to.  Not many teen pregnancies and all the issues that arise turn out REALLY Well for all the parties involved. 
-Ed

Not to gross anyone out but I only lost mine when I was 36 - with a very special friend who is still special today.

I'm still one at 27. Looks to be that way for a while too.

Lost mine at 18.

Didn't lose mine yet!

I lost mine decades ago but I think it may have come back.

 :bouncegiggle:

But it's not quite as simple as that is it? I mean, it was only a few generations ago that it was common for women to marry and have children before 18. But, different times, yes? People had to face adulthood much earlier than.  they do now. I would suggest, and I'm only suggesting, that it's more that the natural biological inclinations are there, but that in today's world, people mature emotionally much slower than they once did. Further complicate this by the fact that girls are physically maturing earlier now. I'm not saying that kids aren't jumping in to sex before they're emotionally ready. I know that's true. I'm just saying that kids have all the natural drives, but circumstance and society dictate that they wait, when nature says differently.

In short, it's much more difficult to hold on to one's viginity "acceptably" than it was for previous generations. That can't be ignored.

One thing is for certain: youngsters are much more sophisticated than they were when I was a kid.  I think maturity and good decision making only comes with experience (read: time).  I agree that pressures are probably brought to bear on young people in this era of social media, but I still admire Indiana for his convictions (the old prude).  And that, by the way, is the pot calling the kettle black. 

Still one at 17, just really isn't a big deal to me at the moment I guess.

My convictions are much the same as indy's. I, too, married as a virgin, though later in life. Granted, for most of my life, virginity was my only option, but I did have a few opportunities I passed by in order to follow my beliefs. Kids today are, as AHD said, much more sophisticated in a lot of ways, but sophistication does not equal maturity or wisdom. Maturity and wisdom come over time. Cynicism and knowing how to play people often pass for wisdom today, and many kids today are cynical and manipulative, but that doesn't mean they know what life is about or that they are capable of making wise decisions.

I should note, I am not a virgin by choice. I grew up Catholic but religion has nothing to do with this.

I wanna cry :(

Flick, as always, makes a good point.  My Great-great-grandmother married at 16 to a 30 year old, a union what would have landed him in jail today.  We do mature more slowly today, even though our old biological clocks do their best to make us think we'll explode if we don't lose it at 16.  But we are also living longer.  In the 1840's, when my g-g-g's got married, the average life expectancy for men and women was well under 50 (Great-great grandad Jim beat that too, living to be in his 90's and surviving the Texas Revolution, the Mexican War, and the Civil War intact!).  But that meant it was all the more important to have children at a younger age.  Now we try to give our offspring an actual childhood to grow up in, but their bodies are sending a different message!

I appreciate all the honesty on this thread!

Aside from some mild experimentation as a teen, I didn't really lose mine until I was in my 30s either.

mine disapeared in college. Kept my virginity through highschool but not due to any lack of trying (well, that is if you use a very narrow definition of sex. In this case Bill Clinton's definition of sex. Yes, I made a Clinton joke, Yes, I'm aware it is 2011, yes I am that anachronistic, and yes, you may have to wikipedia up "anachronistic" to find out what it means) but the allure of the simple dorm room, the roommate out for the weekend, the beautiful college girl and the fact that at the time it didn't seem like we would survive to see the end of 2002 as Al Quaeda was only moments away from killing us all with posionous gas/anthrax/nuke won out and she fell for the old "looks like we're all going to die, might as well die happy" line.  Afterwards however I was very scared she would get pregnant and wished I hadn't been with her that way.

In hindsight I was not prepared even at college age and no way is a highschooler prepared. Primarily because sex can always potentially lead to children you should only get involved with it if you're prepared to deal with that.

By the way, that beautiful college girl who took my virginity (and I mutually took hers) is now my wife and we've only ever been with eachother and as those familiar with my postings have seen we've had 2 kids now.  We still enjoy a good national/international disaster though. I guess since its how we met that there's something about a broadcaster screaming on the TV "Oh the humanity, the cloudfront of evil is sweeping across the planet we're all going to die" gets us in the mood.

18 when I was in college.

 :cheers:

Ah, I remember it well...

17. It was pretty awkward.

The first time I had sex, I was 11 years old.  The first time I had sex with another person, I was 16.

I don't think you took my post as any form of disrespect, as you usually don't, but, in referring to AHD's post, I respect your decision as well. I was in no itching hurry to lose mine either. I was 19, and just didn't feel comfortable with it before that, even though my high school was pretty much Fast Times at Ridgemont High. As you know, I was also in the Navy, and my biggest problem was all the cheating I saw. I never cheated no matter how long I was separated from my wife, yet I would see adultery happening all around me, sometimes by people who claimed to be highly moral. The worst I ever did was go to a strip club in Crete once.

My point is not that kids shouldn't be encouraged to wait, as they certainly should. My point was that it cannot be overlooked that the combination of nature and social norms is not the same as it was for us, and I would venture to say it may be more difficult for  kids to make the right choices. But I don't know that for sure.

Well said, as always.  And not much there I can disagree with, to be honest.  It just seems that teen promiscuity and pregnancy are about the surest paths to a life below the poverty line there is, with the possible exception of drug addiction.  Life can be so much better if we just learn to master our passions rather than be mastered by them . . .

BTW, Flick, I always enjoy our discussions.  Especially when we disagree! :teddyr:

And the family dog was never the same.  :bouncegiggle:

J/K. I'm about the same as you, lost the big V when I was 16.

To be honest, I'm glad I did. The girl I was with, I probably would have married but it didn't work largely because we weren't really compatible in the sex department. We were together for a year or so after I graduated highschool, but in the end it didn't work. Had we waited, we likely would have married before we figured out that it wasn't going to work.

I was 23.

Early 20s, I didn't get much action in high school of any female variety.  Meh, its ok...probably would have been awful at it anyhow at that age. 

LOL, same here.  The habit I had of chasing after girls who - say it with me now - "Just want to be friends" kind of eliminated any chance of that.  [sarcasm]Oh but I had some wonderful friendships[/sarcasm]

Yep, or they just couldn't handle our manliness.  Shame for them, it would have been the best two minutes of their lives.

I was 15 and we didn't use any kind of protection. So stupid but thank god no consequences either.

Two minutes? Quit your bragging!

I'm a 50 second man myself.

 :cheers:

I once went so long I reaquired it!
-Ed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC5VKf1_imE

I was 15. Don't be quick to judge - the girl I'd lost it to wound up being my girlfriend for 15+ years. That was one hot minute!  :teddyr:

17. We were each other's first, and we're still together despite our relationship being long-distance 8 months of the year for 3 years.

I was almost 20 when I "lost it" to my college girlfriend. No regrets. She was far more experienced than me and also happened to be a freak in the sack so it was a very educational, if short lived, relationship.   :teddyr: