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Other Topics => Off Topic Discussion => Topic started by: Trevor on January 12, 2017, 03:49:58 AM



Title: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on January 12, 2017, 03:49:58 AM
From a hotel in the Western Cape, South Africa:

Quote
The staff of the Hotel is very rude, especially a lady called Teesa has a nostalgic attitude. Beware if you order eggs to her instead of serving she can throw on your head. Very dirty toilets, smelly room.

:buggedout: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on January 16, 2017, 08:56:52 AM
And this one: I swear that I have never stayed in the Table Bay Hotel, Cape Town  :teddyr:

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The net curtains in the room rarely get washed and to cap it all, there was a dirty pair of men's underpants in our laundry bin.

That is a five star hotel: you can see them through the hole in the roof  :twirl: :wink:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on January 18, 2017, 04:03:47 AM
This one from East London, South Africa: :teddyr:

Quote
To be honest the time I got attacked by a rhino was a better experience than staying in this dump of a hotel. My family saved up all year to get a waiter who fancied my wife. The water didn't taste like water and the burgers were raw. My bed was made of cardboard and I still have a sore back. The food wasn't poor. I hated it:  one night I slept outside and it was better.

Terrible to know being attacked by a rhino  :buggedout: is better than staying here.


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on January 30, 2017, 07:29:11 AM
Another one from Cape Town:

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Room 226 has a shower in the middle of the room, so be prepared to get naked with your roommate(s) watching.

 :buggedout: :buggedout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on June 02, 2017, 05:10:03 AM
This one made me LOL just now:

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The first night on going to bed we couldn't turn the lights out so we rang for someone to come and sort it out 3 men turned up and started to pull the bed out with me still in it.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: bob on June 02, 2017, 05:45:06 AM
 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Flangepart on June 02, 2017, 11:22:57 AM
You just prepped the jokes for the movie 'Mr. Bean does Africa."


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on June 07, 2017, 09:09:52 AM
One from a hotel in Bologna, Italy: I might be going there in 2018 for the FIAF Summer School  :buggedout: :buggedout:

Quote
If you are the kind of person that needs to go to the toilet from time to time, this hotel is not for you.
This was by far the worst hotel experience of my life.
I received a room with a broken toilet, requested to receive a different room, was denied and promised the toilet would be fixed.
Nothing was fixed, and eventually my entire stay in the hotel was without a working toilet.
Needless to say, the management completely ignored my situation, and didn't even bother to apologies or offer a compensation.

Make yourself a favor, don't stay at this hotel.
I was so p**sed from my stay, that I took the time to write this review, DO NOT GO TO THE GRAND HOTEL ELITE OR YOUR WOULD REGRET IT.


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on December 05, 2017, 04:57:45 AM
Here's another beauty from a central Johannesburg hotel:

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This Hotel should lose its license as it is actually a brothel in Braamfontein. I will never stay there again and will not advice anyone to ever stay at this place. This is a night club with hopes of being a hotel. Rooms is very small with thin walls you have to listen to other people sex noises the hole night especially Wednesday through to Sunday !!!!!!!

I wonder what the rates are?  :wink:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on February 06, 2018, 06:46:23 AM
From a hotel near to where Mom lives:

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L'accoglienza orribile. Abbiamo aspettato un'ora per avere la camera. La stanza era indecente e senza wifi nonostante dichiarino che abbiano rete. Stanza umida e muffa nel bagno. Assolutamente da sconsigliare.

My Italian is a little iffy but I don't think they enjoyed their stay.  :buggedout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Chainsawmidget on February 06, 2018, 07:45:35 AM
From a hotel near to where Mom lives:

Quote
L'accoglienza orribile. Abbiamo aspettato un'ora per avere la camera. La stanza era indecente e senza wifi nonostante dichiarino che abbiano rete. Stanza umida e muffa nel bagno. Assolutamente da sconsigliare.

My Italian is a little iffy but I don't think they enjoyed their stay.  :buggedout:
Translation?


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on February 06, 2018, 07:49:49 AM
From a hotel near to where Mom lives:

Quote
L'accoglienza orribile. Abbiamo aspettato un'ora per avere la camera. La stanza era indecente e senza wifi nonostante dichiarino che abbiano rete. Stanza umida e muffa nel bagno. Assolutamente da sconsigliare.

My Italian is a little iffy but I don't think they enjoyed their stay.  :buggedout:
Translation?

Quote
The horrible reception. We waited an hour to get the room. The room was gross and no wifi despite declare that they network. Room damp and mold in the bathroom. Absolutely not recommended
.

Guess I was right.  :wink:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on May 04, 2018, 03:00:06 AM
Quote
Probably the largest cockroach community on the planet, planned to stay for a week - booked out after one night.

 :buggedout: :buggedout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on May 04, 2018, 08:10:00 AM
From the infamous Hans Brinker Hostel in Amsterdam:

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Receptions was extremely unpleasant. We took a 6 bed mixed dorm. The room smelt like vomit and the beds were dirty. We ended up leaving and going to another hostel.

 :buggedout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Chainsawmidget on May 08, 2018, 01:55:11 PM
Town House Motel -- Tupelo, MS
"There was a puddle of blood in front of our door!"

Club Aqua Gumbet -- Gumbet, Turkey
"The head chef exposed himself and the caretaker was perving on my 13-year-old daughter"

 Boulevard Hotel Ocean Drive -- Miami Beach, FL
"DIRTY ROOMS, with GLASS in the actual bed under the sheet. I was STABBED in the butt!!! Yes the left cheek of my buttocks by a piece of GLASS that was in the bed. I could not stop BLEDDING (sic), the ambulance and police was called out"

Midtwon Inn
"This joint is Nasty and the staff is RUDE to a fault. They are well over priced for the Slum that it is. My employer booked the room as lodging for myself. They have huge problems
with the Fire Alarm system as it goes off for almost any reason or time of night.
Further they have long term renters that are on the Sexual Registry as offenders.
Also some mentally ill woman walks around the hall ways screaming and rambling. at any time of the night. I discourage all to look for a more suitable and clean hotel for their needs.Cheap rates will save a buck or two, but it is money wasted. Go some where else .Also the photo's show a swimming pool, NOT it is a water trap now and full of bugs.
I would not ever stay there again. I almost quit my job as my employer would not rebook me into a cleaner hotel. I needed my job,so for a cheap room rate I suffered that nasty hole in the wall. I did inform my boss that I would not ever stay there again. And that I would resign if he insisted that I stay there again."





Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on May 15, 2018, 08:41:51 AM
Teenage mutants in Bloemfontein?

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Not only was my room door the area for a gathering of teenage mutants, but I was woken up continuously throughout the night by the same group of mutants!

 :question:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Chainsawmidget on May 18, 2018, 09:18:41 PM
Teenage mutants in Bloemfontein?

Quote
Not only was my room door the area for a gathering of teenage mutants, but I was woken up continuously throughout the night by the same group of mutants!

 :question:
Why do I get the feeling that a horror movie plot was going on at the time and this guy just happened to not realize it?


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on June 05, 2018, 08:31:39 AM
Quote
Linen had the usual hairs in it but it is futile complaining on it. I am just pleased no pubic hair this time so Marriott has improved standards thankfully.

Ewww.....  :buggedout: :twirl: :tongueout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on June 21, 2018, 06:43:19 AM
Quote
We were in the back room and the bedding smelled like old feet

Ergg.....  :buggedout: :buggedout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on July 20, 2018, 04:51:10 AM
Someone complaining about the loud sound of ocean waves in Cape Town..  :question:

Quote
The room otherwise was reasonably sized and very light. It is worth noting however that there is little to no sound proofing, so the sound of crashing waves below were very loud – which may or may not be a good thing, depending on how well you sleep.

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR4-sMQbML5WeAQHUtlvVWSWfRgzycHdrZQZbCNOAh7RkiUCXVbQQ)


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on July 25, 2018, 04:12:34 AM
Quote
I had a room in the third floor. The first day I met a cockroach in the bathroom.

 :buggedout: :buggedout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on July 27, 2018, 04:09:30 AM
Quote
Have you ever heard a resort manager tell you to "bugger off" even though you booking lasts for two more days?

 :buggedout: :buggedout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on August 03, 2018, 06:18:04 AM
The worst thus far: from the Westin Hotel in Cape Town.

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I arrived in my Westin hotel room on 27/04/2018 to find the toilet seat covered with the previous guests feces.

 :buggedout: :buggedout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on August 23, 2018, 05:06:56 AM
And who leaves their teeth on a side plate?  :buggedout: :buggedout:

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My staff say that they have not found your wife's dentures that were left on the side plate in the restaurant and I assure you that if they had found it they would have made every attempt to get it back to you, as they have done previously with lost property

Yuck  :buggedout: :buggedout:



Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on January 07, 2019, 04:12:26 AM
German visitor to a hotel near the Kruger National Park complaining about large frogs in the swimming pool:

Quote
große Frösche im Minipool

 :smile:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on January 29, 2019, 05:01:04 AM
And the best clapbacks on Tripadvisor belong to the owner of the Atlantic View Boutique Hotel in Cape Town  :bouncegiggle: :teddyr:

https://www.tripadvisor.co.za/Hotel_Review-g312658-d631305-Reviews-Atlanticview_Cape_Town_Boutique_Hotel-Camps_Bay_Western_Cape.html (https://www.tripadvisor.co.za/Hotel_Review-g312658-d631305-Reviews-Atlanticview_Cape_Town_Boutique_Hotel-Camps_Bay_Western_Cape.html)

I would like to stay there just to meet the owner  :teddyr:



Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Alex on January 29, 2019, 05:40:37 AM
Wasn't on trip advisor, but I loved and sympathised with this review.

Quote
I went outside. It was cold, wet and I was forced to engage with people. I do not recommend this outside place.


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on February 19, 2019, 08:02:11 AM
These two from the same $2000 per night lodge in South Africa: :buggedout:

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Later that evening - after another poor meal (both in choice and quality), I suffered significant stomach issues with prolonged visits to the toilet.

Quote
The room while very comfortable was tatty, balcony has bird crap all over it, on the outdoor furniture crap everywhere, a birds nest was actually on the doorway and the birds were crapping everywhere. Window ledges had dead flies and insects all over it etc.


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on March 28, 2019, 09:13:49 AM
What is this "brown sludge" they speak of?  :buggedout: :buggedout:

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Had to make 2 telephone calls to Reception and visit twice also as they repeatedly advised we had water despite not visiting our room. Brown sludge then appeared.

Errrgghhhh...........  :buggedout:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Rev. Powell on March 28, 2019, 01:15:54 PM
SERVO: “Dear TripAdvisor: Too much snow! Did not appreciate avalanche! Service staff was all dead! Cannot recommend!”
CROW: “Dear TripAdvisor: TRIED to get room service, but the kitchen was on fire! Not the kind of service I’m accustomed to!”
JONAH: “Dear TripAdvisor: Band at disco only knew one song! Probably nice for singles but not for families who want to keep their children ALIVE!”
SERVO: “Dear TripAdvisor: Vending machines only had CHEEZ-ITS! Chair lift and electrocution is nowhere near as fun as advertised!”
CROW: “Dear TripAdvisor: Found cheerleader in my salad! Wait staff refused to help! ONE OUT OF FIVE STARS!!!”
JONAH: “Dear TripAdvisor: Spent a magical weekend with the owner’s mother. She’s a bright, sassy lady! Seemed to think we were in Hawaii. Surprisingly good on keyboard. Died in a horrible explosion. Three stars.”

--the hotel in AVALANCHE


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on July 10, 2019, 03:38:55 AM
My review from my stay in Bloemfontein:

https://www.tripadvisor.co.za/Hotel_Review-g312564-d1238007-Reviews-Protea_Hotel_Bloemfontein_Willow_Lake-Bloemfontein_Free_State.html (https://www.tripadvisor.co.za/Hotel_Review-g312564-d1238007-Reviews-Protea_Hotel_Bloemfontein_Willow_Lake-Bloemfontein_Free_State.html)

Not a bad place: situated almost in a zoo.  :smile:


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Archivist on July 11, 2019, 07:24:38 AM
Plot twist: Trevor is the owner of all these South African hotels, and is hoping the Badmovies readers will be intrigued enough to want to try their luck at them.


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on July 11, 2019, 07:54:32 AM
Plot twist: Trevor is the owner of all these South African hotels, and is hoping the Badmovies readers will be intrigued enough to want to try their luck at them.


 :teddyr: :teddyr:

Just don't stay here if you do: rather sleep in your car or outside.  :buggedout:

www.midwayinn.co.za (http://www.midwayinn.co.za)


Title: Re: Best Tripadvisor review ever!
Post by: Trevor on October 03, 2021, 11:27:16 AM
Quote
First time but not the last time here.

I was a bit upset when my normal choice for a business trip stay in Bloemfontein was fully booked but I enjoyed my stay here: food and rooms were great. Special thanks to Sizwe who checked me in early last Friday as I was tired from my trip by car from Pretoria.

I have one little complaint: the dividing walls between each room - I stayed in room 204 - are paper thin, (dry walls) so much so that if your next-door neighbour breaks wind, you scramble for the air-freshener.

Other than that minor quibble, I will be back.