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If it came out in 2020, I think The Brady Bunch might go something like this....

The ultimate in blended families, no one is biologically related, only united in pure love, with zero incestuous feelings, and almost total amnesia about life before the merge.

Mike would be openly gay, totally cool, and wise as ever, living in a celibate but loving marriage with his wife Carol, whom he deeply loves in a cordial, sisterly fashion. (Uh, Carol's the sister, figure not Mike, Mike's still manly.)

Carol would be Mike's haggy best friend, but an alcoholic, probably abused by her first husband but she can't remember, and her inner desire is for Mike to make passionate love to her, but she couldn't be more understanding of why her body fails to arouse him.

Alice would be an Iraq War vet with dark issues that re-appear to her in dream form. She vaguely remembers shooting a truckload of Iraqis but can't quite pull the memory out.

Greg would be half black, half Cuban, and slightly stressed about being uncircumcised, but Mike's wise counsel would guide him to personal acceptance....and the knowledge that in Mike's culture, uncut men are a fetish commodity, which makes Greg feel good about his dangly member..

Marcia would be transgender, but still valedictorian and a prom queen. Her strange phobia revolves around a curious desire to protect her nose.

Peter would be adopted after he was a homeless orphan with alopecia, but all in all he's the most well-adjusted and happy Brady.

Jan would be about the same as in the '70s, the needy one, only in this time we find her in intense therapy sessions with a school counselor we never see, only hear as a distant voice. There are hints that this counselor may be in Jan's head.

Bobby, an Asian refugee brought home after being discovered by Mike in the wreckage of a sunken barge, never talks except through gestures made with sock puppets.

Cindy would be the same cute ragamuffin tyke we all knew and found annoying loved, though here she's be molested by Sam the Butcher, but hiding it, except she tells Bobby's puppets, who sometimes try to inform the family but nobody pays attention, only laughs, thinking it's a comedy gag.

Tiger would be played by a different dog every week, to see if anyone would notice.

Again, we would never hear mention of life before the formation of the Brady collective, never see any toilets in the house, nobody ever perspires, none of the boys ever wank, and none of the female Bradys get periods. Life in Bradyland is still in some ways almost idyllic.

Til the Cousin Oliver comes, and his last name is revealed to be....Bateman.

GILLIGAN'S ISLAND- They end up killing and eating each other.
Gilligan and Skipper end up the last 2...with Skipper tracking Lilttle Buddy through the jungle.

Lost in space. The Robinson family are part of a program to rescue the elite from an earth no longer habitable while leaving the "undesereables" (Most people ) to die. Dr. Smith is actually an "undesireable" who refuses  to die on earth andstowsaway to survive.... What?  They already...?  Never mind.

This thread is disturbing...  :buggedout:

The Young Ones
Either it would end up an animated series on FOX, or some idiot at ABC would try to put some nonsensical logic behind everything...

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Or if it wound up on the CW, they would replace all the characters with women who happen to be gay, though they would never be seen doing anything gay, outside of trading insider jokes that the audience wouldn't get, and after an unsuccessful pilot, would get rewritten into some sort of unwatchable family oriented drama that they would keep moving around in hopes it would eventually find an audience...

Blake's 7. Ghawd don't   let them update this....

The cast would be the rainbow coalition featuring a muslim lesbian, an atheist lesbian,  a gay Hindu male, a bisexual bi racial guy,  a militant feminist transgender woman, a person who was gender fluid non binary aromantic pansexual and one white guy who everyone constantly busted on.

 The bad guys would be a white male patriarchy capitalist hegemony.

I DREAM OF JEANNIE would have Major Nelson as a psycho with Jeanie killing people at his every whim.

Or the opposite! He unleashes Jeannie, and she controls him. (She does anyway in the show).  :lookingup:
He's pretty much whipped. Like Darren in BEWITCHED. If Darren wasn't the buffon and was the  star, the show would be called BEWILDERED. Because he can't find his ass with both hands.

Now that I think about it...can you imagine Gilligan and Ginger doing the hibbity jibbity?
That would be like watching a monkey try to f**k a football.
Which kinda describes most of my sex life.  :bluesad:

What're you the football? 

Ginger wouldn't    touch gilligan with a 10 foot pole, she was too Hollywood for a goober like him.

Maybe Mary Ann, after a year on the island, after being rejected by the professor. And Ginger.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE would be just clips from a news channel. Our current reality is far more absurd than anything Rod Serling could've come up with.

It could go either way, I reckon. What ever the case, it won't be pretty.

Scooby Doo

Scooby would be much the same but he'd be forced to appear in extracurricular fashion on those tasteless "I'm Neutered, I'm Cool" PSAs that run at night.

The Mystery Machine would be solar-powered or operate on banana peels or SOME green energy contrivance. Maybe a friendly ghost under the hood?

Shaggy would sport a few tats and piercings, kinda doing a retro Gen-X 90s look, and would never quite be able to smoke boo onscreen but the inside joke that he was doing it between scenes would be writ large.

Fred would be just back from a stint in the Peace Corps, where an encounter with an African bush spirit clued him in on the reality of paranormal, and set him on a path to find out what it's all about.

Daphne would be black. Beyond all doubt, black. She'd be the team's computer expert uploading the episodes onto YouTube, meta fashion. She'd also be vegan.

Velma would be out of the closet and (therefore) twice as smart as in the old days. She might even be Asian. There'd be some explanation for why she wasn't a candidate for LASIK, but if she was made Asian there'd never show her squinting again, that's a given.

Scrappy Doo would have been unmasked as a demon long ago and sent back whence he came, and only appear once or twice a season in impish phantom form, always dispelled back to the ethyr by episode's end, vowing revenge as he vanished.

Guests stars would be regular, from Al Sharpton to Jimmy Fallon to Wanda Sykes to Andy Cohen.

Featured foes would be Slenderman, Momo, the spirit of Joan Rivers, and a Ghost Hunters revival crossover event.

Hey, I'd watch this!

Hogan's Heroes

Instead of taking place in a POW facility, it would be set in a concentration camp, and have a different cast each episode.

Yeah,  ER, how about this instead?

(http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/102009/scooby_doo_t-shirt.jpg)

Can't believe I got away with this post. :bouncegiggle:

Oh FFS ER, someone did a series called "heil honey i'm home."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heil_Honey_I%27m_Home!

Why would I want to reference an image that rips off Buffy, Scooby Doo and possibly Land of the Lost but manages to miss the cheerful spirit of all three while going for short humor aimed at unimaginative misanthropes? Um, I'll pass, but I can see why you like it.  :thumbdown:

I'm not into it either.  I'm tired if the zombie thing. I thought you might like it and made tge mistake if trying to be nice to you.  I should have known you'd bite.

Don't take a shot at me if you can't take one back, Sven.

Jeezus,  midol isn't that expensive you know.

So how was your Labor Day, Sven? Spend it with lots of family and friends? A girlfriend, maybe? A boyfriend? that special cat in your life?

You husband apparently spent it with his favorite female dog.

The Dick Van Dyke Show would have a more culturally-sensitive title.

I'm thinking The Rob Petrie Program?

What'd think I was gonna say?

If Dallas were re-re-launched today, JR would be a lesbian named J(ane) R(ush) Ewing, and she'd be played by Rainn Wilson in drag.

Hey, I like this one!

Californication would feature the dude from The X-Files as the creator of the 2000s most infamous blog, a daily train wreck that from 2002 to 2009 got half a million hits a day as he detailed his drunken existence of womanizing and fistfights back in Manhattan, now dwelling in Los Angeles, where he spends his days morbidly sloshed and in and out of vaginas, trying to live down fame after the movie version of his life story (starring Brad Pitt!) became an improbable hit.

His teenage try-sexual gender-neutral offspring (born female) would be a constant source of worry and unconditional approval for the former blogger, while his sensible long-term girlfriend (mother to his daughter/son/neither) would worry over him and provide the only source of stability the former blogger has ever had.

His longsuffering agent and best buddy would be a bald gay Jewish man with an ex-wife who sounded remarkably like Bobby Hill. This agent/best buddy would harbor a huge erection for crush on the main character, but his feelings, which the blogger totally respected, would be un-reciprocated.

"I like entrances, not exits, buddy," the blogger would chirp once per season or so, usually while slapping his agent on the back and inviting him to go get wasted with him.

The will they or won't they get up one another's bums would power half the series, as this skirt-chasing down and out (but now rich!) New York blogger would bed-hop with women while Mr. Right waited hopefully on the sidelines, pensive and heartsick and spending his nights on gay hookup apps trying to forget a love he figures will never happen.

Spoiler alert! The blogger and his agent would eventually have hot slimy butt sex in the season four finale and it'd make everything awkward, as the blogger would explain his agent and now tryst companion, "Dude, despite what happened, I'm not gay!"

"I dunno, my man, you seemed awfully into my a***ole," the agent will tell him.

A half-season of drama and reflection follows, as does  a near fatal car wreck when the ex-blogger is driving four times the legal limit. He has a near death experience and comes-to realizing love is about your feelings for a person, not a gender, and he figures, hey, vagina, rectum, as long as he can slide in there, he's good, so music swells and he passionately kisses his gay agent right there in the hospital cafeteria, and everyone claps and hoots.

"I am so gonna fist you til you're sore tonight!" the agent whispers in the ex-blogger's ear.

(Hey, I hope this is turning at least some of you on....)

So with girlfriend and offspring's approval and to the sounds of Led Zeppelin's D'yer Maker, booming loud the men run off together in the finale with a sign on the ex-blogger's red sports car that reads "To Vegas!"

Don't you love when the rear of a show gives a happy ending?

Oh, and instead of Californication, it'd be Cornholefornia.

"All in the Family" would not even get the green light for a pilot episode. And if it did, there would be protests aplenty.

I disagree...
It would be an animated series on FOX.

Leave It To Beaver
Beaver would be in special class, wally would be in counseling, & Eddie Haskell would be a repeat offender in sensitivity training.

Ward would be an ex con convicted of embezzlement send insider trading, June would have divorced him and married a woman she met while he was doing 3 hears after flipping on his boss and be selling marijuana on the side to keep her family solvent.

Saturday Night Live would return as a comedy.

That Would Be So Cool!

Imagine Star Trek (the original series) if it were made today.

Kirk: Would not survive in the #MeToo age. His career as a starship captain ends in a lengthy prison sentence.
Ohura: You have one female black character on the deck and she is basically a secretary in a short skirt. Yeah, that wouldn't fly either.
Spock: Well as a male who doesn't show emotions he isn't going to be 'new man' enough to survive in the modern era.
Sulu: Well since he is played by a gay actor, the character would have to be gay too, because people can't tell the difference between acting and real life. Having a gay character on the ship isn't really a problem for me but because someone has to be offended by anything, he'd be accused of being both a racial and gay stereotype.

I could continue but I am sure you get the idea.

FRIENDS

The gang, having being diagnosed with severe psychopathy and coffee addiction, spend most of their time in the inside of the loony bin. Hilarious mayhem ensues!
Watch as Joey and Monica resorts to eating Chandler's arm in a hunger rage! Enjoy the episode of Chandler eating his remaining arm due to a lack of nicotine! Dig into the amazing double episode in which they try to escape, resulting in the murder of Rachel at the hands of Ross with a chicken bone! And don't skip the awesome conclusion, in which Ross makes a fortune selling that very same bone as a genuine dinosaur fossil to Phoebe!

That's asking an awful lot  of some scriptwriters.

Not really...
You's just need a few comedians who actually have a sense of humor, who don't think everyone thinks (or should think) the way they do, and don't assume everyone takes drugs.

I would pay moderately hard-earned money to watch that.

 

"Your Mama sews socks that smell...!"

http://youtu.be/B8dKnFU5LUE (http://youtu.be/B8dKnFU5LUE) 

Joy Of Painting
Every week, Bob Ross's hair would be a different color (albeit, he might ditch the faux fro), or he'd have a new piercing or a new high-end tattoo.....
Somewhere amongst his happie little trees, there'd be some statement about the environment, such as a pipeline, or an oil rig, or an eco-warrior camp that's carelessly leaving their garbage everywhere, or put in lots of little gravel trails & picnic tables & benches to say it's an illusion of nature created by man, but it's not real, or maybe just drop in a tripod with a survey scope mounted on it to tell the viewer this beautiful scene won't be there much longer...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hijacked series Doctor Who would returns as....Doctor Who.

I think Twin Peaks would actually remain the same

The Addams family would look normal.

The guy on MR.ED would marry his horse.
The guy on MY MOTHER,THE CAR would be in the psycho ward.

Gilligan's Island would assume a Lord of the Flies meets Lost aspect.

Ginger would look a lot like Sharon Tate and be a drug addict in a Valley of the Dolls homage, less an A-list actress than a desperate wanna-be who was being blackmailed before she left Hollywood, by a photographer with "incriminating" pictures from her past that would ruin her rising/stuttering career in the movies. She went to meet the blackmailer at his flat off Hollywood Blvd. only to find him brutally slain, and while she's sure she didn't do it, she also was coming off a long blackout after taking a near-overdose level of downers and can't remember where she'd been the last ten hours before rushing off to take the cruise.

Mary Ann would likewise be fleeing a murder rap back in Kansas, only in her case she absolutely did it, shooting her boss/lover at the town bank where she worked, cutting him out of his share of the bank's savings she pretended to be stealing with the manager before he left his wife and the two ran off to Rio together. Mary Ann decided she didn't need a partner and ditched that baggage. The cruise on the SS Minnow was meant to be stop one in  a 'round the world voyage.

The Professor would be a secret Nazi war criminal hunted by Israel for his eugenics experiments, and not a lot would be known about him at first, except he seems affable and able and brilliant, though Gilligan swears he heard the professor mumbling in German when he was knocked out in the wreck.

The Howells are con artists of another sort who recently stole the life savings of a vengeful French Resistance assassin, who is now looking for them while they stay one step ahead. Mrs. Howell is also really a man, which is part of the disguise, not an orientation.

Gilligan has multiple personalities, some benign, others not, but while the others know him only as a bumbling seaman, there is much conflicted darkness in his past, as we see in flashbacks with a blind woman who was in love with him....and who is probably now dead.

The Skipper is secretly the father of one of the passengers, which one we don't know, and he is a genius who masterminded bringing everyone together on the cruise, only to see his plan for revelation foiled by the sudden squall that marooned them on the island. There's a hint dropped in episode three that the Skipper may have a terminal illness and is trying to make amends for his past and the child he never knew.

Most of the castaways are scheming to gain the upper hand here, and one of them is plotting to murder everyone else....
.
....on Gilligan's Island!

FATHER KNOWS BEST  

James "Jim" Anderson Sr.: Robert Young - Jim, having affair with Islamic secretary slaps Margaret and leaves...
Margaret Anderson: Jane Wyatt - Margaret, left alone, turns to drink, Bud's pals, and lets the house get smelly...
Betty "Princess" Anderson: Elinor Donahue - Princess, unwed, 5 months pregnant with someone's child... she has admirers of multiple race. 
James "Bud" Anderson Jr.: Billy Gray - Bud, hop head, meth dealer, wife beater, father, child molester, alcoholic...
Kathy "Kitten" Anderson: Lauren Chapin - Kitten, kidnapped and imprisoned in neighbor's garage as long as necessary for ratings...


Thank you Wikipedia! 

Laverne and Shirley. One would be black.  They'd  be lesbians. That would be all the show was about.

Starsky and Hutch. One would be black.   They'd  be gay. That would be all the show was about.

The odd couple. Felix would be a vampire . Oscar would be a werewolf.

Jane the Virgin would return as a downer comedy about a frustrated loser with no friends, no job, no respect from his family, doomed to babble self-importantly among people who don't take anything he says seriously. Oh, he also is a lazy typist. Gee all I'm lacking now is a catchy title....

Den the Virgin?
Spin the Virgin?
Vin the Virgin?

It'll come to me.

Completely useless negative trolling.

I think Gomer Pyle USMC should be re-done as a Full Metal Jacket style series depicting the gritty horrors of Vietnam, so that Pyle really has something to shout, "Well GOLLLLEEE!" about.

Thast was Forrest gump.

Naw, man, darker than Gump went. I mean Jim Neighbors forced to have sex with a woman in order to survive kinda dark.

If you  want a realistic movie about Viet nam all I can say is that according to a guy who was in Vietnam "full metal jacket" is as close to reality as a movie ever got.

The Wild, Wild Westworld, would feature US federal agents James West and Artemus Gordon sent in to infiltrate and undermine the rebellious robots of Westworld.

I assume it will be played by Will Smith and Kevin Kline, just to p**s off fans of steampunk.

The Courtship of Eddie's Father will return as a vigilante judge takes his young son Eddie out to international water to inflict vengeance on the guilty in his nuclear-powered vessel of harsh justice known as the Court Ship.

Happy days would revolve around the lives of non white non WASPs living in america in the 50's and the way they contrasted to the middle american white bread lives of the cunninghams's who they interact with.

The Golden Girls

Four older single women share a home and one Netflix account in Seattle, Washington. The owner of the airbnb house is Snapchat Queen Blanche Devereaux, who is joined by The Cheesecake Factory employee Rose Nylund and Uber Driver Dorothy Zbornak, after they both responded to an ad on Craigslist. The three women are joined by Dorothy's 80-year-old vegan mother, Sophia Petrillo, after her lactose free dairy farm where she had been living was shut down for fraud.

The Murray Tyler Moore Show would be about a white male trying to "make it after all" in a modern workplace where women and minorities get the credit, and white men do most of the work. More of a documentary in other words.

THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES with Jed as a veteran meth cooker, granny as a mean-spirited lesbian biker, Jethro and Ellie May as brother/sister lovers with a three-eyed baby, and Mr. Drisdale as a greedy New York real estate developer dabbling in reality TV and politics . . .

Jennifer Lawrence might go for a role like that.

She could be Drisdale's seemingly bimbo secretary, Miss Have-It-Any-Way, but secretly be an FBI agent gathering dirt on her boss.

Tales from the Crypt would return showing nothing but a silent black screen twenty-four hours a day.

If they updated mary Tyler moore this would be the theme song.

https://youtu.be/jmgELLkiCfE

MTV's The Real World would follow sheltered Millennials as they graduate from college Gender and Race Studies programs, leaving behind safe speech zones and entering the real world, where people will stop being polite and start being real with them. Multiple twenty-something cranial explosions are sure to result!

My favorite martian. After coming to earth to assess it, Martin decides the human race must be eliminated to protect the universe from them. Tim is a radical environmentalist and agrees to help him as long as it's  done in a humane fashion and doesn 't hurt he ecosphere.

Leave it to Beaver would....

Nevermind, nevermind, cancel that thought, I'll spare the room my idea. Hurry past now.

Brady & Martin. Having faked their deaths and relocated to a remote Pacific island nation, the former spouses of Carol Martin and Mike Brady inexplicably meet and fall in love, unaware that back in the states their erstwhile spouses followed a similar course along with their six children. Brady & Martin become detectives and solve crimes that involve swank music and lots of car chases '70s style, and each episode ends with them laughing at a bad pun.

Their children and one-time spouses are never referenced again!

Voyage to the  bottom of the sea.  The green powered submarine seaview is dedicated to cleaning up the oceans and tracking down corporoatre polluters who are summarily executed for environmental crimes upon apprehension.

Adam's Family. After managing to get Pa's permission to finally leave the Ponderosa around age forty, Adam Cartwright relocates to a little prairie town where everyone else is "mysterious and spooky" but Adam's family doesn't seem to notice they're different as they live their daily lives among ghouls and zombies and a displaced family of cybermen during a November crossover episode. Heartwarming lessons in non-judgmental feel-good diversity for the whole family!

Dennis the Menace. Sloshed on ADHD drugs, Dennis sits listlessly on the sofa all day, gaining weight. Mister Wilson smiles a lot more often now, and his wife does Weight Watchers, so she's less matronly and more comely. Joey's nose no longer perpetually runs because of allergy medication. Margaret stays on social media and never comes out, Dennis' dad works for less money since the Chinese bought his company, Dennis' Mom chases tornadoes in the springtime, and Gina is the neighborhood butch. And, oh yeah, no more love affairs with Tommy's dog Rosie for our boy Ruff, who is of course neutered. All the kids wear helmets when they ride bikes, none hang out car windows when they're driving, their treehouse is five feet off the ground, and there's a fence around the ol' hollow.

Wow, ain't the modern world great?

But wait! Aliens land in a season 1.5 cliffhanger!

Cool House. The Tanners of Full House suddenly realize they can't possibly afford the house in San Francisco they been living in, so they relocate to the Hood, where their new neighbors, the cast of Good Times, teach them basic urban survival. In a Very Special Episode, Stephanie gets tricked into smoking crack, and an outraged JJ turns undercover informant to "blast that turkey with dino-mite!"

The Mod Squad.

In a dystopian future "that's closer than you think," a squad of semi-enslaved programmers, a black dude, a white dude, and a white chick from Twin Peaks, Washington, who create gaming mods for an AI boss, escape the corporation's compound, restore a 1960s hippie van, and drive through post-industrial America, solving crimes, helping the helpless, and evading the cyborg agents of the AI boss, who still lays claim to owning them via their lifetime servitude contracts.

Cheers

The show is set in a service center for Alcoholics Anonymous in Boston, Massachusetts, where a group of locals meet for therapeutic sessions run by and for, alcoholics.

Little House on the Prairie

Drama television series about a family living in a 400 sq. ft tiny house in Walnut Grove, Minnesota. The show is an adaptation of Sarah Susanka's best-selling The Not So Big House (1997) book.

The Waltons

American Reality television series about a family of eleven in rural Virginia during the Great Recession that lasted from December 2007 to June 2009.

After everyone's through saying good night to one another, as the lights go out one by one until the house is dark, you finally hear Anthony Perkins say "Good night, Mother", as a single light comes on in the attic............

 :thumbup:

The Dukes of Hazzard would be a gritty Medieval period piece (think The Pillars of the Earth meets Game of Thrones).

Set in the deep south of Merry Olde England, wherein Duke Jesse leads his nephews, Sirs Beau and Lucas in a struggle to keep their noble House of Hazzard alive during the brutal civil war of the mid-1100s, despite the machinations of the evil Boss Hawg, warlord of the county, and his ruthless henchman Sheriff Roscoe de Pecotrane, whose only joy in life is the persecution of the Hazzards, whom he once imprisoned on false charges.

The Duke's comely long-legged niece, Lady Daeze of Hazzard, is lusted after by many, but only the Sheriff's conflicted, kind-hearted deputy, Sir Ennys of Slackjaw, seems poised to win fair Daeze's heart.

Many thrilling pursuits on horseback ensue to the lively music of a chorus of minstrels' stringed instruments, and when the Duke's boys evade the Sheriff's capture, he is often heard to cry out, "Forsooth! Them Duke's boys! Them Duke's boys...!"

I think it has sure-fire hit written all over it!

ALF

A motley crew of scientists and government agents try to track down ALF, a seductive extraterrestrial-human hybrid, who lives with the Tanner family after crashing into their garage.

T.J. Hooker

The weekly adventures of tough-as-nails veteran Hooker T.J. (Tatjana Jane), who rides clients with her prostitute partner Vanessa Romano.

Simon & Simon

Siamese twins of disparate tastes and manners run a private detective agency.

Or it'll end up a one season wonder like When Things Were Rotten. :P

The Tonight Show Starring John W. Carson

Imagine if TV's all-time best fictional character, the lovable self-deprecating everyman Johnny Carson, whom millions of Americans thought they knew, were replaced by John W. Carson, a hard drinking, womanizing, gun-toting, abusive tightwad who carried grudges like a terrorist carries lice.

I'd tune in.

The Love Boat reimagined as a place where people can come find love, the only catch being if they have sex while on board, they walk the plank. Now there's a challenge for you.

I was going to mention the reboot of Hawaii Five 0 - started in 2010 - but there haven't been major changes from the 1968 - 1980 original.

Steve McGarrett is a younger man, ex Navy SEAL investigating his father's murder. Played by Alex O'Loughlin.

Danny Williams is a former NYPD detective who requested a transfer to the Honolulu PD so that he could be near his daughter. (In the original series, no mention was made of Danny's family) Played by Scott Caan.

Chin Ho Kelly is much younger, less laid back and a bit more intense than the original character but no less likeable. Played by Daniel Dae Kim.

Kono: the major change is here as the original character was male and the reboot is female and a bad ass sister to boot. She is Chin's cousin and they're more like brother and sister than cousins. Played by Grace Park.

The Governor: in the original series, the governor was male, in the first reboot series the Governor is female (and a criminal) Played by Jean Smart, then Richard T Jones and now Rosalind Chao.

Wo Fat: McGarrett's eternal nemesis who is far more frightening in the reboot than in the original. Played by Mark Dacascos.

Dallas. An impoverished Vietnamese shrimp fishing family, the Ducs, who moved to Texas after the fall of Saigon and made it rich through hard work, luck, murder and blackmail, now control half of north Texas via their electronics empire, and they feud, swivvy and scheme their way to high misadventure across the Silicon Prairie.

There is the senile but proud patriarch Luc Sr., kind matriarch Shime, the eldest son, no-good Duc Jr. (DJ), his Prozac-popping beauty queen wife Hoho, virtuous youngest son Ranny and his infertile bi-polar wife Thel.

Though billionaires one and all, for some reason the extended Duc clan all reside upstairs in Luc Sr.'s house on his million-acre ranch Saigon Fork, rather than owning their own places.

Who froze evil conniver DJ in carbonite is sure to be the cliffhanger of the season!

(Honestly, why hasn't Hollywood recognized my talents and given me a contract by now to reboot old series???)

Charlie's Angels

A criminal cult leader named Charlie runs a hitman agency via a speakerphone and his personal assistant, Tex Watson. His "hitgirls" are Susan Atkins, Patricia Krenwinkel and Leslie Van Houten who end up in a variety of difficult situations. Sitcom created by Matt Groening.