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I was going to say a million, but honestly that doesn’t get you so far these days. And a billion just sounds cartoonish. So let’s just say the genetic “bunch o’ money”

As for me I’ve noticed fewer and fewer of bad movie directors from the drive thru era are around. However, guys like Dario Argento, Ruggero Deodato, William Grefe, Frank Hennenlotter, etc are still kicking. I’d love to set my money ablaze by hiring each to direct a new horror movie then license some of their older work. Put it all together and launch a streaming service. Or if I really want to make sure I throw away all the money I’d make it a DVD company so I could put on all the bells and whistles of special features with these releases :)

Not too related, but I figured I’d mention it. If I had that hypothetical big bucket o’ cash I’d also hire David Lynch to stand around. Every so often I’d rattle off something pretentious he did then follow it up with, “You’re such an a***ole.” As a condition he wouldn’t be able to retort he’d just have to sit there and take it. I have a feeling I’d be hanging out with David Lynch a lot because I have A LOT of material to work with.

I'll go with a million.

Split it into 10 $100k increments, & make 10 B-Movies.

Each movie is allowed 1 special FX piece, like a monster or space ship, budgeted at $1000. Each movie is allowed 1 month to shoot. Each film is allowed a $50k budget; the rest of the money ios for marketing or cost over-runs.

Release these movies in January, February, August, & September, when there's little competition.

Then see what sticks.

Alternatively, I could go with $100k split into 10 $10k movies. Same special FX cost & shooting schedule; just everyone else is paid less.

That sounds like the Godfrey Ho school of movie making.

I would pay every archive in the world to send us every South African film they have: we might even find some of the lost silents.

Open a revival theater and just show old BAD movie double features. With a weed shop in the lobby selling edibles.

WEEKEND AT BERNIES 3

I was going to suggest something, but I can't beat that.

Lavalantula 3

For a start, I would create my own Sketch comedy & horror show for internet & public access cable....
And I would show Triumph Of The Will the weekend before every election...

Next, I would set up a pair of big screen TVs on my front porch, & show Nosferatu (this version http://www.badmovies.org/movies/nosferatu/ (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/nosferatu/)) every Halloween As I passed out candy!

Then, I might buy one of the abandoned offices, restaurants or nightclubs up the street from me & turn it into a second run cinema, with Classic Baddies Midnight Movies!

Just for myself, I'd go looking for some of the out takes & lost footage from Mad Max, Galaxy Of Terror, and Huntress: Spirit Of The Night...

Finally, having a little experience in the field, and a few acquaintances who might be attracted to resources & capital, I'd find someplace between 288 & the city line to start making my own gosh awful, laughably bad little stinkers....

Awesome home theater set-up...

Some of those lost gems I've been meaning to see....

A few trips to either bad movie locations or out of state conventions

and i would like trying my hand at making some b-movie props or creature creation

buy and burn every copy of Bucky Larson in  the entire world

As long as you remember watching the film, Bucky Larson will never die!  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

Insert evil, indeed maniacal laugh.

Find a '69 Charger, get it fixed up, then paint it orange, then....

Paint a Roman numeral 4 (IV) on the doors, 'cause, y'know, I'm the fourth with the family name...

Then I'd paint purple stripes on the roof, 'cause, y'know, purple & orange are my fagging colors for my sound gear....

Then, on each side, above the doors, I'd paint, "WHAT FLAG?".....
That way, if I took it to an auto show or a comic con or something & encountered some woke jerk who was offended by orange '69 chargers, I'd have a crow for them to eat!

A clip on ponytail
A glue on handlebar mustache
a pair of thigh-high horseback riding boots
a big orange diaper & matching bandoleers
Finally, I'd blow twenty thousand dollars on an antique Webley-Fosbery .455 Automatic Revolver

And I would go down to the range dressed like that!

I'd paint her all "satin shadow black" and throw a huge supercharger on!

Lift the rear 5", all M&H Racemaster tires! Blue flames on the hood and front sides  :thumbup:

I'd maybe do that with a Ford Falcon XB Coup, but not a charger......

Mad Max  :thumbup:

I'd start a new movie studio and hire a bunch of people to make NEW old style horror. 

Each year we would make at least one movie in each of the following styles, 80s slasher, Universal Monsters, Hammer Horror, and a random fourth type maybe old giant animals attack or something. 

Then I release these in September/October with a big Halloween Event marketing blitz. 

I'd buy a drive in theater. And only show BAD movie double features.
Dusk till Dawn shows on Friday and Saturday!

(https://i.imgur.com/1W4iNS7.jpg) (https://lunapic.com)

Buy a warehouse & build a town, or several towns representing different parts of the world, inside it. Use this as a studio. Rent it to producers or make something myself.

Build a secret island lair as a base for world domination.

Buy up some property in the country with a farm for me and either with a large warehouse or enough land to set up a bunch of pre built buildings plus extra land to do what I want including outdoor filming and since money is no object I would have a b***hing armory both personal and props and I will crank out the most high end exploitation humanly possible I will make all kinds sleaze and exploitation from horror, action/ adventure, ultra violent crime dramas and westerns, sci fi that would freak you out, campy comedies that will have howling in laughter they will be full of the things we like or at least I like guns that are handled correctly by well trained and enthusiastic actors and actresses, violence the bloodier the better, hot babes, nudity and sex, wild ass shootouts, creepy creatures, damsels in distress none of that macho b***h from hell s**t here accurate to the period it's set in fake towns built to cut the cost of getting a filming permit.      

Travel to SA and check in with a film archivist.   :wink:

I would gladly pay for your ticket.  :smile:

Ton of money..........

This town has everything it needs; studios, directors, producers, actors, PAs, equipment rentals............

Trouble is, half the people would rather be working for somebody else, the other half would rather be king of their own little castle....

I think I'd buy scripts off Keith Van Allen, then buy one or two of those empty bank & restaurant buildings up the street, & tell people, "HEY! I've got scripts, and I've got MONEY!", and work from there............

Y'Know, I've always felt this part of town could use an actors' theatre, that could throw up a portable screen on Saturdays for midnight movies, & maybe once a month host a local film fest............

I would hire the tri cities' best producers, editors & DPs, (& maybe a slightly better CGI specialist), and I'd start backing the works of Fabian Rush!

It could be interesting to try and achieve the 70's made for tv movie vibe. that era: the car, men's hair, the  colors, seems like a real historical anomaly

There's something about the filmstock of the sixties, particularly when I think about the Hammer films (before & after computer color correction), or Back in the early days of Nickelodeon, when they had a show called First Row Features, which played these one hour children's' matinees, mostly by Janusfilms over in England.....

Also those timeless reruns of Batman & Hogan's Heroes, etc.

Just a look that cant be duplicated these days......

I've always had a couple ideas for a couple of horror films & a super hero comedy.....

Most likely it was Eastman Color. I don't think Kodak makes Eastman Color filmstock anymore. But they do make EKTACHROME: https://www.kodak.com/en/motion/product/camera-films/ektachrome (https://www.kodak.com/en/motion/product/camera-films/ektachrome)

Pre digital color films especially in the 60's and 70's to me just had a better atmosphere to them especially if they were set in a eerie environment. 

I'd definitely open a theater or drive-in that showed only horror/exploitation/grindhouse movies. I'd design it in 1970s retro-style.

Perhaps we should use the money to re-create that era's film stock?

Hey, if enthusiasts can bring back Polaroid, nothing involving film's impossible!

I'd equip a dungeon with a variety of random objects and see who could inflict the most inventive torture on trump and his supporters as possible.

holy s**t...

Maybe I'd sell public domain movies on cheap tf cards at The Dollar Tree..................

You can do that now! Getting into Dollar Tree would be the hard part; the market for cheap PD movies evaporated ~10 years ago. To get products on shelves the surviving companies package several PD movies together, often with one famous, possibly copyrighted, movie.

I'd buy the Munster Koach!
George Barris, a hot rod god, made it.



(https://i.imgur.com/JDY6dJi.jpg) (https://lunapic.com)

I'd build a working replica of Il Tempo Gigante
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4055/5126823151_58dd60c5ca_b.jpg)

 ^ What is that from?  :question:

(https://plantsounds.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/pinchcliffe_grandprix.jpg)

I still don't know what it is.  :question:
What is the history behind this?
It's older- I mean it says 40 years- but I never heard of it!
I gotta say it's a kool kar!

It was on cable a few times back in the early '80s...

I didn't watch a lot of TV in the 80's. I did listen to music! I was in NYC- and my older brother Mike was a punk rocker.
That's how I started listening to punk rock. Mike was in NYC in the 70's when it started. I just rode his coat tails.

I would start my own tiny little production company...
Then, maybe a grocery store or two, with a few of those roadside hotdog huts, the kind where you walk up to a window & sit at a picnic table...
Eventually, I would build my own motorcycle & small arms factory...

I might even venture into one or two other things, all while diverting a little bit of capital into the production company...

Ultimately, everything coming out of the production company would be a big corny two hour advertisement for all my other business ventures, no matter if it's dram, comedy, action/adventure, mystery/suspence, sci-fi/horror, adults only or just for kids, it would always depict the characters and/or the extras riding my motorcycles, using my guns, shopping at my stores, or stopping by my hotdog huts! :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:

They brought back VHS why not.

Really? Hadn't heard that had made a comeback.

Drew Bolduc did that for one of his movies.
I think it was Science Team...

I don't think anyone's making video tapes or VCRs anymore, but I'm sure there are still new-old-stock tapes someone can use to release a movie on VHS. Probably Betamax too.

Having said that, I think audio tapes are still being produced, so it should be possible to restart video tape production if someone wanted it badly enough. (And had the $$$)

Nyahhhhh..... I think you can still find some at Walmart....
And there's still a market for those doo-dads that transfer your VHS to DVD...

I would buy an atom bomb.

I'd try to bring back double-features & pre-feature shorts.

The couple of local television stations I used to turn to for classic baddies have become rerun channels of the exact same show 24/4, or (ugh) amateur web series!

I think I'd build my own UHF station, with new reruns or we series, with the exception of one or two made locally, just to show that not everything comes from Hollywood......

Maybe add that to my grandiose notion of a retail, manufacturing & production enterprise mentioned earlier......

12 frames per second
By 60 seconds in a minute
By 120 minutes in a movie...

You could make an animated movie wit ~90,000 frames. Usually each character in a shot counts as one drawing. Assuming an average of 3 characters per shot, you'd need ~270,000 drawings to complete the movie. Assuming each drawing takes 10 minutes, it would take ~450 hours to complete the film.

That's  ~11 years for one person, working an average work week. Assuming you'd want to get done in about a year, you'd need 10-20 people.

20 x $50,000 = $1,000,000

So I guess, with a million dollars I could make one cartoon movie. Might be able to get that down some with loops, pans, footage reuse, etc. I'd still probably need twice that budget to market it.

Have you not heard of the Showtime produced "Masters Of Horror" show?  Each episode was directed by:  John Landis, Tikashi Miike, John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper, Dario Argento, Stuart Gordon ...to name a few.  Its Amazeballs.  The Miike episode was so horrirfic, Showtime did not air it...but they did release it on the DVd set.   

Redo Damnation Alley with elements from the Fallout games.

Not movies, and probably not considered bad by some:

Complete Sapphire and Steel, UFO, the original Battlestar Galactica, Space: 1999, and Doomwatch.

If you do get a s**t ton of $$ to make your fantasy come true, please use the Salton Sea as your location to film everything!

The Craters of the Moon National Monument in Idaho is also cool.

Buy older theaters across the nation to create a vertically-integrated studio empire! Mwah-ha-ha!!!

Buy up the rights to old music recordings so I could use them without paying royalties.

I'd make my own B movies and maybe even create a "cinematic universe" of sorts for them.

I think I might bring back one or two Mighty Wurlitzers & retractable screens so the cinemas could be easily converted into theatres, & maybe invite street performers on weekends.....

Kinda like they did with the old Byrd Theater in town...
https://byrdtheatre.org/

I'd remake "The Dragon Lives Again" with an expanded cast of characters

Build my own combination drive-in/outdoor shooting range.

As long as people don't try both activities at the same time.  :wink:

I dunno.  I can think of a few movies that could greatly be improved by the ability to shoot at the screen.

Like the Kong vs Godzilla remake.

Remake some pretty s**tty mainstream movies with improvements.

One of the things I've been hearing my whole life, from indies to some big names who started their own labels, is how they always hit a brick wall on the distribution end.....
Even some of my associates on the local indie scene started complaining last year that their stuff was getting pulled from Amazon for no reason...

Always thought it would be kinda cool to take up distribution for z-listers.....

Something tells me that would've been easier 30 years ago, when there were a bunch of independent video stores. Shoot, it might've been possible 10 years ago.

Today, with streaming taking over, I'm not filmmaking/distribution is a profitable business, unless you happen to own an archive of 1000+ films.  :bluesad: