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#12
Bad Movies / Re: RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie...
Last post by M.10rda - Today at 07:12:52 AMOh boy, I'm really pickin' 'em poorly this month...
KING OF KONG ISLAND (1968):
Neither a prequel to KING OF KONG or KONG: SKULL ISLAND nor in any way related to any KING KONG movies... there are only a couple of shambling upright "gorillas" of human dimension and controlled by a mad scientist. There's also a Sheena-style jungle girl whose hair usually covers her breasts, as would happen in these bad Euro-flicks. However, there is no giant ape.
The ubiquitous Brad Harris is some kind of mercenary in Africa who is double-crossed by a partner but survives to seek revenge. In a wholly unrelated plot, he's also friends w/ a rich guy whose kids have gotten in trouble on safari w/ the mad scientist and the shabby-looking apemen. Following a lot of nature doc cut-ins, Harris meets the Jungle Girl and she sort of helps him out, though not much. The apemen only see action in a couple scenes.
KING OF KONG ISLAND has major characters named "Turk", "Burt", "Albert", and "Robert". No, this isn't a Lenny/Teddy/Sammy/Jimmy/Dodd type of situation, nor a Veronica/Ronnie/Nicki situation - it's just bad writing and it's confusing when none of the characters are compelling.
Marc Lawrence plays "Albert" the Mad Scientist. I know him best for his (somewhat impressive) dual role in NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR, but he was in lots of movies. He's maybe best known for the movies he was supposed to be in - RESERVOIR DOGS (as Joe) and BLADE RUNNER (as M. Emmett Walsh's character). If he auditioned for Tarantino and Scott like he acts here, I understand why he wouldn't get those roles!
The Jungle Girl doesn't do much for me but the other two actresses are redheads - a MILFy one and then a nubile teenager. They fight near the end.
The teenager learns that her brother is dead and watches her father get murdered in front of her - then 5 minutes later she's riding off into the sunset w/ Brad Harris, all smiles.
What a dumb movie. 1.5/5 There is a super-cute moment where the teen redhead spots a lion cub and a baby leopard wrestling and cuddling. That's adorable but equally unlikely as everything else in this movie.
KING OF KONG ISLAND (1968):
Neither a prequel to KING OF KONG or KONG: SKULL ISLAND nor in any way related to any KING KONG movies... there are only a couple of shambling upright "gorillas" of human dimension and controlled by a mad scientist. There's also a Sheena-style jungle girl whose hair usually covers her breasts, as would happen in these bad Euro-flicks. However, there is no giant ape.
The ubiquitous Brad Harris is some kind of mercenary in Africa who is double-crossed by a partner but survives to seek revenge. In a wholly unrelated plot, he's also friends w/ a rich guy whose kids have gotten in trouble on safari w/ the mad scientist and the shabby-looking apemen. Following a lot of nature doc cut-ins, Harris meets the Jungle Girl and she sort of helps him out, though not much. The apemen only see action in a couple scenes.
KING OF KONG ISLAND has major characters named "Turk", "Burt", "Albert", and "Robert". No, this isn't a Lenny/Teddy/Sammy/Jimmy/Dodd type of situation, nor a Veronica/Ronnie/Nicki situation - it's just bad writing and it's confusing when none of the characters are compelling.
Marc Lawrence plays "Albert" the Mad Scientist. I know him best for his (somewhat impressive) dual role in NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR, but he was in lots of movies. He's maybe best known for the movies he was supposed to be in - RESERVOIR DOGS (as Joe) and BLADE RUNNER (as M. Emmett Walsh's character). If he auditioned for Tarantino and Scott like he acts here, I understand why he wouldn't get those roles!
The Jungle Girl doesn't do much for me but the other two actresses are redheads - a MILFy one and then a nubile teenager. They fight near the end.
The teenager learns that her brother is dead and watches her father get murdered in front of her - then 5 minutes later she's riding off into the sunset w/ Brad Harris, all smiles. What a dumb movie. 1.5/5 There is a super-cute moment where the teen redhead spots a lion cub and a baby leopard wrestling and cuddling. That's adorable but equally unlikely as everything else in this movie.
#13
Bad Movies / Re: The Killer Tomato movies
Last post by M.10rda - Today at 06:38:12 AMWell, uh... never saw the original (and should). As a kid I rented A sequel from the nearest supermarket - it was the only one they had. I presume it wasn't RETURN, but... 
Back in those days I would sit through the entirety of anything, no matter how bad or boring it was. This was called "an attention span" and many kids had those in the 1980s, before social media. I still had mine until about 15 years ago. (I don't dig on social media - I just finally realized that I was wasting my precious life watching worthless crap all the time.)
But even back in the mid-to-late 80s, I couldn't make it more than 10 minutes into this sequel. I realized something about this movie was different from the "Groovy" bad movies presented by my friend Commander USA. These filmmakers weren't even trying.
Back to the supermarket it went, only 10 minutes in. I probably didn't even rewind.
Back in those days I would sit through the entirety of anything, no matter how bad or boring it was. This was called "an attention span" and many kids had those in the 1980s, before social media. I still had mine until about 15 years ago. (I don't dig on social media - I just finally realized that I was wasting my precious life watching worthless crap all the time.)
But even back in the mid-to-late 80s, I couldn't make it more than 10 minutes into this sequel. I realized something about this movie was different from the "Groovy" bad movies presented by my friend Commander USA. These filmmakers weren't even trying.
Back to the supermarket it went, only 10 minutes in. I probably didn't even rewind.
#14
Off Topic Discussion / Re: This is a very hard post f...
Last post by Trevor - Today at 05:46:24 AMBeen just over a year since Brenda passed away.
That year feels like a minute's gone by.
Miss you, Big Sister ❤️❤️🌹🌹😔😢😢🌹🌹❤️❤️
That year feels like a minute's gone by.
Miss you, Big Sister ❤️❤️🌹🌹😔😢😢🌹🌹❤️❤️
#15
Off Topic Discussion / Re: A loud fart woke me up thi...
Last post by Trevor - Today at 01:25:56 AMQuote from: indianasmith on October 15, 2026, 10:31:29 PMWe had a proverb in the Navy:
"The only thing worse than a wet fart is a lumpy one!"
😳😄😆😅🤣😏🐢
Needed that LOL thanks.
#16
Off Topic Discussion / Re: A loud fart woke me up thi...
Last post by indianasmith - October 15, 2026, 10:31:29 PMWe had a proverb in the Navy:
"The only thing worse than a wet fart is a lumpy one!"
"The only thing worse than a wet fart is a lumpy one!"
#17
Off Topic Discussion / Re: Memes n' stuff of the day
Last post by LilCerberus - October 15, 2026, 09:47:17 PM
#18
Off Topic Discussion / Re: A loud fart woke me up thi...
Last post by Trevor - October 15, 2026, 09:18:45 PMQuote from: bob on October 15, 2026, 09:16:37 PMQuote from: Trevor on December 09, 2022, 01:24:15 PMQuote from: bob on December 09, 2022, 01:07:54 PMBetter than loud 💩
I usually do that
do you brag about this
All the time 😏😉😎🐢
#19
Off Topic Discussion / Re: A loud fart woke me up thi...
Last post by bob - October 15, 2026, 09:16:37 PMQuote from: Trevor on December 09, 2022, 01:24:15 PMQuote from: bob on December 09, 2022, 01:07:54 PMBetter than loud 💩
I usually do that
do you brag about this
#20
Games / Re: Answer the question with a...
Last post by bob - October 15, 2026, 05:48:35 PM
Where's the firewood?