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#61
Bad Movies / Re: RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie...
Last post by M.10rda - February 09, 2026, 01:44:57 PMPLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME! (1959/1963?)
The title more or less clues you into what you should expect from this semi-Mondo/domestic docudrama about female sexual dysfunction and its potential treatments.
The somewhat surprising thing is its writer/director/producer/co-star - Ron Ormond, who played the eponymous TEENAGE STRANGLER of MST3K fame but ended his career w/ a series of evangelical Christian scare flicks. I recall that Rev. Powell has the Ron Ormond box set so maybe he's watched this one and can shed more light on its production. The copyright on the opening title says "1959" which is what Letterboxd goes with, but other sources say 1963, which seems like a better match for the vivid colors, garish wardrobes, and general sleaze-level.
The pre-credits sequence wastes no time in allowing pretty redhead "Vicki Edwards" to wander off from a woodsy picnic into a nearby desert, where she's followed and accosted by a swarthy-looking moustached-man in a sailor cap. (Horrors!
) Ormond cuts away from any graphic assault, however, and we then leap forward in time to newlywed Vicki rebuffing her husband's marital advances (in spite of her choice of outfits, which range from "Vegas martian showgirl" to "Playboy magazine boudoir model"). Obviously the only hope for Vicki's marriage and sanity is a visit to chain-smoking psychotherapist Lash LaRue... yes, the whip-wielding cowboy from THE DARK POWER and other bad westerns. Soon, Vicki is submitting to hypnosis to plumb the dark depths of her trauma (w/ cameo by Ormond himself as Anton Mesmer ). But will you be prepared for PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME!'s shock-twist ending???
This is undeniably a cheap, largely tasteless, and Bad film - but it could have been worse! The dialogue is mostly tacky enough to avoid being boring, and LaRue is kind of interesting to watch (he comes off as Ed Sullivan doing a Richard Nixon impression). Although I initially felt bad ogling the many boob-shots of perky Vicki - presumably the victim of s*x**l assault - Ormond obviously knew what he was doing (for better or worse) and lets his audience off the hook at movie's end, where it's revealed that
***SPOILER***
the attack was interrupted prematurely and Vicki wasn't actually violated - but Vicki has blacked out the entire incident and her neurotic mother has encouraged her to believe she was r@ped for years (!!!).
***END SPOILER***
Okay, that's kinda' messed up - but as a result of this odd twist, PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME reads less as a reactionary indictment of the inscrutable female libido and more as a portrait of parental over-protectiveness, repression, and gaslighting....... yes, whether intentionally or otherwise, future religious propagandist Ormand somehow made an almost progressive movie that is critical of sexual conservativism.
It does end though on a scene of heteronormative reinforcement. But we get to look at Vicki's cleavage some more, so... 
2.5/5
Oddball sidenote: "Vicki Edwards" is played by "Vicki Caron" but the opening credits declare that the film is based on her true story
which seems like yet another uncomfortable situation similar to that of "Rae Kidd" in THE UNASHAMED. "Vicki Caron" (who is very lovely, if only an okay actress) seems to have no other film credits and some folks on the internet appear intrigued by this mystery. Rev, was there any memorable supplemental tidbits on the box set?
The title more or less clues you into what you should expect from this semi-Mondo/domestic docudrama about female sexual dysfunction and its potential treatments.
The somewhat surprising thing is its writer/director/producer/co-star - Ron Ormond, who played the eponymous TEENAGE STRANGLER of MST3K fame but ended his career w/ a series of evangelical Christian scare flicks. I recall that Rev. Powell has the Ron Ormond box set so maybe he's watched this one and can shed more light on its production. The copyright on the opening title says "1959" which is what Letterboxd goes with, but other sources say 1963, which seems like a better match for the vivid colors, garish wardrobes, and general sleaze-level. The pre-credits sequence wastes no time in allowing pretty redhead "Vicki Edwards" to wander off from a woodsy picnic into a nearby desert, where she's followed and accosted by a swarthy-looking moustached-man in a sailor cap. (Horrors!
) Ormond cuts away from any graphic assault, however, and we then leap forward in time to newlywed Vicki rebuffing her husband's marital advances (in spite of her choice of outfits, which range from "Vegas martian showgirl" to "Playboy magazine boudoir model"). Obviously the only hope for Vicki's marriage and sanity is a visit to chain-smoking psychotherapist Lash LaRue... yes, the whip-wielding cowboy from THE DARK POWER and other bad westerns. Soon, Vicki is submitting to hypnosis to plumb the dark depths of her trauma (w/ cameo by Ormond himself as Anton Mesmer ). But will you be prepared for PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME!'s shock-twist ending??? This is undeniably a cheap, largely tasteless, and Bad film - but it could have been worse! The dialogue is mostly tacky enough to avoid being boring, and LaRue is kind of interesting to watch (he comes off as Ed Sullivan doing a Richard Nixon impression). Although I initially felt bad ogling the many boob-shots of perky Vicki - presumably the victim of s*x**l assault - Ormond obviously knew what he was doing (for better or worse) and lets his audience off the hook at movie's end, where it's revealed that
***SPOILER***
the attack was interrupted prematurely and Vicki wasn't actually violated - but Vicki has blacked out the entire incident and her neurotic mother has encouraged her to believe she was r@ped for years (!!!).
***END SPOILER***
Okay, that's kinda' messed up - but as a result of this odd twist, PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME reads less as a reactionary indictment of the inscrutable female libido and more as a portrait of parental over-protectiveness, repression, and gaslighting....... yes, whether intentionally or otherwise, future religious propagandist Ormand somehow made an almost progressive movie that is critical of sexual conservativism.
It does end though on a scene of heteronormative reinforcement. But we get to look at Vicki's cleavage some more, so...
2.5/5
Oddball sidenote: "Vicki Edwards" is played by "Vicki Caron" but the opening credits declare that the film is based on her true story
which seems like yet another uncomfortable situation similar to that of "Rae Kidd" in THE UNASHAMED. "Vicki Caron" (who is very lovely, if only an okay actress) seems to have no other film credits and some folks on the internet appear intrigued by this mystery. Rev, was there any memorable supplemental tidbits on the box set? #62
Off Topic Discussion / Re: How's the weather?
Last post by Rev. Powell - February 09, 2026, 01:37:43 PMI can see my sidewalk! The Great Melt has begun.
#63
Bad Movies / Re: Generate Movie Poster with...
Last post by claws - February 09, 2026, 01:27:41 PM
#64
Bad Movies / Re: Some sort of noteworthy Ev...
Last post by M.10rda - February 09, 2026, 01:07:23 PMYeah, you're right... I need to get over it. Clearly I am suffering from MDS... Melania Derangement Syndrome. 
#65
Bad Movies / Re: Generate Movie Poster with...
Last post by claws - February 09, 2026, 12:54:52 PM
#66
What Was That Film? / Re: A woman strangling with he...
Last post by Trevor - February 09, 2026, 09:59:11 AMQuote from: wositelec on February 09, 2026, 09:56:36 AMQuote from: Trevor on January 28, 2026, 06:09:31 AMTHE DEATH HEAD VIRGIN could be another.
It isn't, but thank you.
No problem 😊🐢
#67
What Was That Film? / Re: A woman strangling with he...
Last post by wositelec - February 09, 2026, 09:56:36 AMQuote from: Trevor on January 28, 2026, 06:09:31 AMTHE DEATH HEAD VIRGIN could be another.
It isn't, but thank you.
#68
Off Topic Discussion / Re: How's the weather?
Last post by Trevor - February 09, 2026, 09:23:28 AMStill very 🥵🥵🥵
#69
Entertainment / Re: What have you been listeni...
Last post by Rev. Powell - February 09, 2026, 09:20:42 AM