OT: New Threat to Freedom: Squirrel Terrorists!

Derf · January 27, 2006, 09:57:23 AM

Just in case you didn't think we had enough problems, the evil squirrels have apparently begun concentrated efforts to take over the planet by subjugating humans in a reign of terror.

I present as evidence the following:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

Exhibit E

I rest my case and go out to buy a squirrel rifle. I hear tell them thangs is gooood eatin'.

Mr_Vindictive · January 27, 2006, 10:05:00 AM

Odinn must have stumbled upon a squirrel terrorist cell a few months back. They knew that we were then on to them and so now they are carrying out their nefarious plans.

I for one, welcome our squirrel overlords.

;)

Derf · January 27, 2006, 10:17:15 AM

Skaboi Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> I for one, welcome our squirrel overlords.
>

So you're a squirrely sympathizer, eh? Well, I say "Better Dead than Red! Or Grey! Or any other colors squirrels come in! The only good squirrel is a dead squirrel, roasted over an open fire and served with beans and maybe a nice parsley garnish and a side salad with ranch dressing!

Scottie · January 27, 2006, 10:32:06 AM

Yes, they are tasty, but boney! That's why you gotta pressure fry them. Fill a pressure cooker with oil and pressure fry those suckers. When they're done, they're bones will have turned to a tasty mush and their skin, crispy as a chicken wing.

Of course I'm kidding. I don't eat animals smaller than a rabbit.

odinn7 · January 27, 2006, 10:49:25 AM

I and my daughter will be leading the front against the squirrels! Die squirrels, die! Your attack on us this past fall was our wake up call and we are ready! You will not take us by surprise.

Ash · January 27, 2006, 11:01:23 AM

I can do an excellent squirrel call.
I learned it from my dad and it does work.

If I see a squirrel in a tree and use it...it will almost always stop and look at me.

It's probably thinking, "What a f**king loser human!" and has a laugh with its squirrel buddies.

dean · January 27, 2006, 11:14:23 AM

You have to admit, the theatre owner displayed a cunning, yet very annoying, advertising savvy when interviewed: "It is not surprising our furry friend wanted to get in on the action, with such an amazing new line up at the theatre! But I have been assured normal services should resume tomorrow and we will be back up and running again."

Damn guy deserved the attack.

So what's the tally odinn7 for squirrel related deaths? I'm assuming you'll be keeping a tally.

Remember, for every one of us they kill, we take down fifteen of them, so give as good as you get, odinn7.

I'm am so glad we don't have the little buggers gumming up the works down here.

odinn7 · January 27, 2006, 11:43:55 AM

dean Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm am so glad we don't have the little buggers
> gumming up the works down here.

Dean, I have it from a good source that the squirrels are communicating with the rabbits in Australia. Watch your back man.

dean · January 27, 2006, 11:47:56 AM

Bah! The rabbits aren't that much of a problem, especially since we have a nice little biological warfare that kills alot of the little buggers off. The only real pest I have in my immediate area is the possum that thinks it's a good idea to p**s all over my car roof whenever I park my car in the driveway under the tree [we have four cars in the driveway and I usually steer clear of that spot]

But, since they're a native animal, I can't really do squat to the little buggers without breaking the law.

Thankfully none have managed to go on the killing spree you guys seem to be having over there in the US. The squirrel threat is a big threat to home security I'm assuming, especially with such a high body count.

Mr_Vindictive · January 27, 2006, 11:50:30 AM

dean Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm am so glad we don't have the little buggers
> gumming up the works down here.

Yeah but you guys have those scaryass funnel web spiders.....

dean · January 27, 2006, 11:55:16 AM

Skaboi Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> Yeah but you guys have those scaryass funnel web
> spiders.....
>

Meh, it's not as bad in my area as it is elsewhere: down south things are fairly tame in the city, you really just have to watch out for the occasional white-tail/redback spider, and even then it's been years since I've seen a redback.

But once you get out of the city, the ants start to grow quickly in size, and you just know things are getting a bit wild. That's when you have to start being a bit more careful.

It's funny, just as I write this a quite large Daddy-long-legs spider is crawling down the wall right in front of me. Meh, they're harmless and I'm sleeping in the other room, so I'll let it go for another day. I'm in a tired mood [3:54am here] so I really can't be bothered, even if it is breaking Ash's 3 feet rule.

trekgeezer · January 29, 2006, 07:46:33 PM

Here's a new twist in their insidious plot for world domination. The squirrel's are now going undercover by impersonating rats!! The little bastards are trying to avert blame for their attacks to other innocent rodent species.

The Evidence

We should also be worried about the flurry of suicide attacks. The more radical squirrel factions are very willing to die for their cause by shorting out power transformers, stuffing themselves into heater vent pipes, and running in front of fast moving cars hoping to make you swerve out of control.

We must face the conclusion that these rodents mean business and will not be satisfied until either we or they are wiped from the face to the earth.

trekgeezer · January 31, 2006, 02:43:50 PM

We must all join the SDL (Squirrel Defamation League) at All Squirrels Must Die!

Odinn7 should send them his story to be included in their testimonials. Check out the links page.

raj · January 31, 2006, 03:54:45 PM

This past fall there was one squirrel in my backyard that had a hairless tail. At first I just thought it was mange, but now I'm thinking it could have been working on a disguise or else had a training accident. Fortunately, for my and my seven nearest neighbors, we average out to one dog per backyard, thus keeping the squirrels on their toes. It's pretty funny to watch the squirrels run the power lines which run down the backyards. The dogs will sit patiently, eyeing the rodents. Once the furry terrorists, er, insurgents cross over into a particular dog(s) yard, the dog(s) will then start barking just waiting for a squirrel's slip.