THE VALACHI PAPERS (1972) - Cheesy Mafia flick

[The Burgomaster]

I had already seen this movie 3 or 4 times, but I bought the recently released DVD anyway.  It's a pretty laughable Mafia flick (based on the true story of Joe Valachi, the very first Mafia soldier to testify against the mob).

First of all, this movie is pretty extreme for a "PG" rating.  It includes:

* Several bloody shootings;
* Various beatings and stabbings;
* Topless women;
* Implied lesbianism;
* A bloody castration scene.

IMDB mentions that this movie's original rating was "R", but it somehow got reduced to a "PG".

Here's why it is bad:

* None of the actors can pronounce any of the Italian names correctly or consistently.  Everyone uses a different pronunciation.  In some cases, the same actor pronounces someones name 2 or 3 different ways in different parts of the movie.

* The Italian accents are often pretty bad.  Especially from Joseph Wiseman, who played DR. NO!

* Early in the film, Bronson gets attacked in the prison shower.  At least twice during this attack, you can see that Bronson is wearing orange/tan bikini briefs.  Didn't anyone notice this during filming or editing??????

* You can briefly see a modern car driving down the street in a scene that is supposed to take place in the 1930s.  (At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but IMDB mentions this, so my suspicion has been confirmed!)

* This is a Dino DeLaurentiis production, and he generally screwed up almost anything he ever got his hands on.

[peter johnson]

Violent, hideous violence for its own sake --
One of only 3 pictures I've ever walked out on -- {Valachi Papers, Howard the Duck, and some Italian Witch thing --)
Really hated it in a loathing fashion --
Oh, well . . .  to each their own . . .
peter johnson/denny crane
 . . . EWWWW!!!