COLOSSUS AND THE AMAZON QUEEN (1960)

[The Burgomaster]

When I started watching this movie (which is included in the SCI-FI CLASSICS 50 MOVIE PACK), I was expecting a cheesy 1960s action flick in the tradition of HERCULES, SAMSON, etc.  What I got was a HORRIBLE comedy that left me in a daze.

Rod Taylor (who somehow survived this mess and has enjoyed a fairly successful acting career, which includes THE BIRDS, THE TIME MACHINE, and even a voice in Disney's original 101 DALMATIONS) plays Pirro, a good friend of strong-man Glauco.  By the way, there is no character named "Colossus" in this movie.

The movie starts with tacked-on Americanized credits and a jazzy musical score (similar to the music they used in many 1960s "nudie" movies).  The jazz music is completely out of place, but I suppose the filmmakers thought it would make the movie funnier (yeah, right).

The dubbed-in dialogue is awful (and, like everything else in this movie, NOT funny).  Most of the men have effeminate voices and always seem to be bickering about doing the laundry and things like that.

The movie even includes some choreographed (I think) dance numbers, but the "ancient" dancers use 20th century jazz dance steps (sort of like the dancing in WEST SIDE STORY).

The fight scenes are awful . . . the punches and kicks are really slow and deliberate with no power behind them and they usually miss their targets by about 6 inches.

For one scene on a boat, they didn't even bother to use rear-projection water and sky . . . you just see the guys on the deck of the ship and the background is a plain off-white/pale blue color.

Reading my comments will not help you understand how MISERABLY BAD this movie is.  You must see it for yourself.

[RCMerchant]

Sounds like it would make a good double bill with Hercules in New York! Double your pain!

[Flangepart]

Drat! Another one Joel/Mike and the Bots diden't get too.

[Gerry]

I'm not sure what this says about me, but I thought it was pretty funny.  Of course I was in a terrible mood when I put it on, and it was exactly what I needed to take life less seriously.  I guess that may have colored my perception.

[Scott]

I own two copies of this film on DVD and still haven't seen it yet, but after that review Burgomaster I just might have to pull it out soon.

[BoyScoutKevin]

Yeah, that's Rod Taylor, but Burgo, who's that sexy redhead in that one screengrab? I could really go for her.