THE HATCHET

[indianasmith]

"Don't go near the old Crowley place!!!"     

If you liked 80's slasher flicks, this film is for you.  It is a loving homage to everything we enjoyed about those old-school 80's films - you've got a hideously deformed, massively strong undead psychopath burning with hatred for anyone that comes near his swampy home,  a random cast of hatchet fodder, gratuitous boobies, alligators, moments of near-hilarious comedy, an oriental guy from Chicago conducting "haunted swamp" tours in Louisiana, and Mardi Gras . . . . all in one movie!!!!  What more could you ask for?

Victor Crowley is the ultimate B-movie immortal mutant killer.  He's big, he's mean, he's strong, he's REALLY ugly, he's got a big hatchet scar across his face - and no matter how many times you kill him, he keeps coming back!  He is an equal opportunity hatchet man, killing all without respect for age, gender, race, comic relief value, or general hotness.  The general storyline is like this:

When a depressed college student decides to bail on the Mardi Gras festivities his friends have dragged him to to get him over losing his girlfriend to some jock with a "massively thick neck", he decides to go on the Haunted Swamp Tour.  His best buddy reluctantly leaves the Mardi Gras bacchanalia and accompanies him. The boat rams on a rock, or stump, or something that causes it to sink, and all eight of its occupants are stranded in the swamp near . . . the old Crowley place!  Slaughter ensues, and it includes some of the best gore effects I've seen in a recent horror film.  Hatchet fodder includes:  a very funny elderly tourist couple, two aspiring actresses who came to Louisiana to star in a low-budget porn video, the video's producer (who is really a legal executive with a fake business card so he can make home movies of hot women), the two college buddies, the Oriental tour guide, and the local girl looking for her dad and brother who vanished in the swamp a week earlier.  Watch for a cameo by the black actor who played the creepy undertaker/death character in FINAL DESTINATION, and an early cameo by none other than Robert Englund.   

All told, this one is well worth seeing.  Check it out! 

[The Dungeonmaster]

It's just called "Hatchet". I thought it was ok. I loved Tony Todd's little performance.

I personally feel it's a bit over rated. Good for straight-to-video release but still pretty generic and boring. I couldn't stand the main chick.

[Cult Movie Mania]

I haven't seen Hatchet, but applaud the efforts of filmmakers to re-capture the gory glory days of late '70s/early '80s splatter.

What will always be missing is the fact that we'll never again have the pop culture climate of the '70s/'80s.  Meaning no more punk/New Wave/post-hippie hair styles, '70s mod clothes, primitive synth music, grainy film, CGI-free SPFX.  Without a complementary pop culture environment of the  times, many of these efforts will be rolling a boulder uphill.

You just can't re-create The Burning or Soft Cell in a time of 'Rush Hour 3' and 'Hannah Montana'.

[Mr_Vindictive]

I rather enjoyed the film myself.  I just watched it recently.  It's a great throwback to the heyday of splatter slashers but it's just not as good as other films that came out around the same time, such as Behind The Mask.  The film is incredibly short, running just a bit over an hour in length, and there just wasn't enough depth to it.

It was nice to see some low budget, latex kills.  Some of the murders here are truly gruesome and inventive.  I hope Adam Green the best of luck in any of his future endeavors as this was one of the best horror debuts I've seen.  If he throws a bit more story and depth into a film with this much energy, then he'll have a classic on his hands.

[Sister Grace]

yeah, i thought it was interesting that the same guy who plays the father on Drake and Josh, takes the role as the ameteur (sp?) porn director..

[VenominOhio]

i ahve Hatchet- unrated. and it`s a great movie all the effects done without CGI, awesome kills, and horror icns from past movies with their cameos/roles. great gore flick.