Interactive Superhero Flick

[clockworkcanary]

Welcome to the next interactive story for badmovies.org visitors, members, and fans - feel free to help out with the story; anyone at anytime feel free to jump in and continue the zany adventures of the yet to be named Superhero team.  I'll introduce a crazy villain first and someone else can jump in and take the story in whatever direction...


Superhero Narrator Voice Over, Superfriend's style: "Deep in the suburbs of Punytropolis, mild mannered Cluck Kant (played by Gary Busey) is a photographer for the New Zork Times, but at night, he secretly turns into the dastardly villain, Robo-Chicken, a cyborg bird from the 3rd DIMENSION ("dimension" is echoed real loud). 

During a late high school football game, well into overtime, there is a shot of the full moon. Kant starts to sweat, holds his head, and lurches behind the bleachers after taking some mediocore cam shots of the game ...and suddenly, Cluck Kant starts going "B-gok!" like a maniac, bobbing his head back n forth, dropping his camera, and knocking over a Gatoraide stand... after a gruelling transformation, he has metaphorphed into the poultry of destruction!

He rushes the field in a blind rage!  With razor sharp talons and flapping robot wings, he thrashes a few helpless cheerleaders and a few fans get trampled on the way! The screams fill the field and the beast tears through some of the players and it heads straight for the coach.  The coach (played by Joe Pesci) is distracted by screaming "goddamm!t Reggie Ray!" and other assorted cusswords, brow-beating his players as usual. 

Suddenly he's dwarfed by a giant chicken shadow.  Robo-Chicken taps the coach on the shoulder and in a calm voice says, "B-gok B!tch!"  The Coach turns and staggers back in absolute terror!

...when suddenly one of the fans notices something in the sky, closing fast...

Fan 1: "It's not a bird!"
Fan 2: "It's a plane!"
Fan 3: "It's, it's ...hell I don't know...who the hell is that?!"

Our first hero of the story lands between Robo-Chicken and the Coach...who is none other than...

[Doc Daneeka]

Yes, jumping from a plane comes The Busy-Body! (Played by John Walsh) A hero with the ability to sense every dangerous thing going on at any given time in any given place. Busybody immediately rushes to the rescue no matter the inconvenience to all parties involved!

Busy-Body: Thank God I, the busy-body, arrived! I'll help those passengers traumatized by my surprise exit later, now I must save the stadium from this foul fowl! ...Sorry if I offended you, Robo-Chicken, but I felt I needed the verbal play on words in order to boost morale!

Most everyone by now has safely cleared the stadium

Busy-Body: Time to pay for your disruption of these good peoples' enjoyment!

The Busy-Body splits into a multitude of pieces, most of which attack the Robo-Chicken at once, others take off in other directions, trying to return a fleeing woman's purse, offering off an untouched hamburger to a fleeing patron, etc. However, none of these pieces have much success in any of their respective tasks. Most tragically, the ones attacking Robo-Chicken are being pretty-much destroyed.

Busy-Body: Nobody bother to help! I can do this on my own!

One of the two spectators still watching (The other being a random drunk dude who decided the battle was cooler than the game), annoyedly sighs

Mysterious spectator: They always seem to come when I'm in the middle of something...

[clockworkcanary]

...the annoyed man sees the carnage below, grabs his cell phone and frantically texts for some backup.  Several moments and many Busy Bodies later, a horse'n'buggy pulls up at godspeed, drivin' by a rather grumpy looking old farmer!

Annoyed man, "Thank God you're here Angry Amish Guy!"

(But how he received the text is anybody's guess!)

The Angry Amish Guy (played by Michael Keaton) scows a few seconds before he plows his horse n buggy right over Robo Chicken, knocking him away from the remaining Busy Bodies, who all seem to cluster together to reform the entire Busy Body.  Angry Amish Guy jumps off his buggy with a large pitchfork and jabs at the chicken a few times.

The Robo Chicken and the pitchfork-armed Angry Amish Guy go a few rounds, trading blows, dodging and ducking attacks, etc., until Angry Amish Guy lands a signature, trademark move called "The Jebadiah Uppercut" that sends Robo Chicken to the ground.  Angry Amish Guy pins the fowl head down between the forks of his melee weapon, holding him steady when all of the sudden...

[Doc Daneeka]

Robo-chicken: Curses!

Angry Amish: Such blasphemy from the mouth of one of his creatures!

Robo-chicken: I am no match for one of the farm-warrior-clan!

Realizing the tight spot he is in, Robo-Chicken takes his chance to escape, firing his head in to the sky!

Angry-Amish: What horrors has technology created whilst I have been in hiding?

Busy-Body-Head: I tell you, technology can be used for the most perverted of purposes, such as ...Libel! and ...Plagiarism! However, the technology we are dealing with seems almost as diabolical as such civil infractions! Whilst my leg delivers this message I have written in apology to those on the flight I disturbed, I shall track down the one who disrupted this game and punish him/her appropriately!

Angry-Amish: I shall follow you in your journey! ...Provided that curse of yours is a natural one and not the product of some black wizardry...

Busy-Body: Now wait a second, why do you single out black wizardry? I personally find that-

As the disagrrement ensues between the two heroes, we see that like any good chicken with it's head cut off, Robochicken's body is still just as deadly, as we soon discover when...

[clockworkcanary]

...it runs around the football field, circling the 50 yard line, flapping its razor-sharp wings like a fanatic!

Angry Amish Guy stops in mid sentence, dives into Busy Body, knocking him out of chickenwing harm's way, who was distracted by arguing, typing a help message in morse code with his left big toe, wittling a sculpture with one hand, rolling a cigar with the other, and combing his hair all at the same time. 

Busy Body looks up, "wow...thanks... Help is on the way!"

Both heroes are dodging the super shredder wings of the headless robo chicken when someone pulls up in a crappy, 70s-tan colored Gremlin car with a Pizza delivery sign over the driver's side window yelling "Initiative Roll!"  The car rips onto the field, doing donuts, tearing up the grass, kickin' up dust, and doing a crazy action roll/jump out the side of the car window, revealing a pimply-faced teenage boy with some books, dice, a bag of Doritos, and a Mountain Dew!

Angry Amish Man: "who did you call for backup? Run-on-sentence man?!"

Busy Body, "no!  It's my sidekick, none other than D&D Boy!"

The camera focuses in on D&D Boy (played by Jake Lloyd) revealing his unkept, oily hair, his mustard-stained Boba Fett T-shirt, and his extra thick, taped up glasses that, in totally 80s style, covers about 3/4ths of his face.

D&D Boy, "Yippee!  yes it is me! and I just did an awesome Dex check out the window" and we see the crappy brown Gremlin car sputter off field and into the concession stand, "I've got my Bo Staff +1, +3 vs Cybo-Fowl all good and ready and it's my attack of opportunity"

D&D Boy takes a swig of his Potion of Giant Strength and somehow grows really big muscles, which he uses to crack the huge bird-slaying bo staff right into the beast's rib cage!  "I scored a Critical Hit!" and the flapping bird's body of doom finally drops to the ground, revealing a mess of wires.

Angry Amish Guy, "what the heck is that!?  That's that ...that...evil electronic stuff I was warned about!"

Busy Body, "yes...but that's not the last we seen of Robo Chicken...for his head will create a new body"

D&D Boy, muscles returning to miniscule amounts, "well, when he comes back, we'll be ready for him" as he fixes a wrinkle in his Cloak of Women Repellant +1.

About this time, Busy Body's communicator goes off, "It's headquarters, they want us to..."

[Doc Daneeka]

*Old-timey-serial freeze-in to reveal a grainy picture on Busy-Body's oversize communicator watch of a greasy, almost as pimple faced as D & D boy, Macaulay Culkin*

Busy-Body: They want us to chase down "Louie the Douche" in Douchebag lane! They say we are the only ones suited for the job! Or rather they said it was the only job suited for us... Sigh... I shall have to give them a grammar lesson some day!

Angry Amish: That young punk? It doesn't surprise me, the little imp-child is always getting in trouble...

D&D Boy: Mr. Body, I have to come with you, he may be a troublemaker, but Louie is my friend!

Busy-Body: No!

D&D Boy: But I could talk to him!

Busy-Body: No!

D&D Boy: But he would listen to me!

Busy-Body: No! No and ...No! Louis is a bad influence, and I don't want your mind to be corrupted by... "d"-bags... Especially when I beat them and your little friend to a pulp, I'm afraid that would be much too troubling for your young mind!

D&D Boy: You always treat me like a kid! I am an adult of...

Busy-Body: ...What is the age of an adult?

D&D Boy: ...18...

Busy-Body: Ha ha! Maybe next year, D&D Boy! No, this is a job for a responsible adult such as myself or Angry Amish Man.

Angry Amish: Feh! I would not lower myself to the commands of a large, technology-infested organization, even if it is woefully outdated technology... No, I'll go do the two things I do best, condemn machinery and manage livestock!

Busy-Body: Well I cannot protest orders from headquarters, so I will have to add that to my planner and send one of my eyes along with you!

Angry Amish: Hmm... Would you like an eye of mine for that, to make it fair?

Busy-Body: Very clever, Angry Amish Man, I had no idea you could seperate your limbs at will!

Angry Amish: I cannot, but I find that this is an important situation and such things are necessary. I will be with you momentarily so we can both keep in touch!

Angry Amish Man turns around and begins to grunt whilst D&D Boy confronts Busy-Body again

D&D Boy: I guess I'll just play some more D&D...

Busy-Body: Yes, that would be the safest thing at the moment. No cheating, godmodding, or occultism!

D&D Boy: Ohh, all right...

Busy-Body: Remember, Busy-Body is watching you!

Busy-Body turns back to Angry-Amish, with an eyepatch on, his eye under a handkerchief in his hand

Angry-Amish: Do you really approve of that imaginary-evil?

Busy-Body: Not in the least. But I cannot crush his precious creativity or social skills so I invite some pre-approved friends over and make sure they have no sharp parts or maps of steam tunnels, then I try to keep an eye on them and ignore them at once!

Angry Amish: My children do not defy me... We'll leave it at that...

Busy-Body: For now, but I'll make a note that you now may have the tendencies to be a child abuser! Oh and... D&D Boy isn't my child, I just baby-sit him for his mother! She enjoys an active.....sssss..s..social life!

Angry Amish: ...trollop...

Busy-Body: Anywho, since we'll have each others' eyes, I can reasonably trust you! Now in a few minutes of mental preparation away we'll go!!!

AWAY THEY GO! WE FIRST CUT TO THE BUSY BODY, WITH PEG-LEG APPROACHING DOUCHEBAG LANE, LOOKING TOWARDS THE HQ OF THE DOUCHEBAGS GANG

Busy-Body: Douchebags inc.??! I hate douchebags! They're always so vulgar!

The fastest he can hop on a peg-leg, he makes his way towards the run-down bar. On the inside, the douchebags run around in mostly tight, worn-out, 3-piece suits and ties. One douchebag played by Julian Richings wildly sings "Rock me Amadeus" on a table, a coffin sits menacingly rumbling on a wall. The party suddenly stops when The Busy-Body intrudes!

Richings: What kind of a Douche-Bag do we have here?

The rest of the Douchebags mumble nasally

Busy-Body (Restraining himself from sneering at the foul language): Now wait, before we resort to violence- I may seem like a spy, but I am a Douche-Bag indeed, just like you!

The Douche-Bags look at each other menacingly...

Richings: ...Who you calling a Douche-Bag?

CUT TO: ANGRY-AMISH MAN TRYING HIS BEST TO TRACK THE ROBO-CHICKEN DOWN A RANDOM ALLEY

Angry-Amish: This is odd, a large fist seems to have obscured Busy-Body's borrowed eye... But I shall leave being a busybody to him, I have a robotic chicken to look for...

But suddenly, Angry-Amish Man is ambushed by a gang of shadowy thugs! The gang quickly overpowers the Angry-Amish-Man and proceed to pour an excess amount of alcohol down his mouth, until he passes out!

Lead gang-member: We've got him now... Now what the heck do we do?

CUT TO: AN OLD FARMING COMMUNITY, THE BIRTH-PLACE OF ANGRY-AMISH MAN. IN HIS HOME, HIS WIFE, MISERY (Mary Gross), SUDDENLY GOES INTO APOCALYPTIC CONVULSIONS!

Misery (Quietly: Oh goodness! My senses are tingling through the power of God! ...I sense that Jebediah has snuck alcohol again..... O Lord... give me strength to *Gulp*, do a ...man's... job.

With this, Misery dons an all-black robe, black ankle-boots, and a black-plague mask

And becomes MISSUS MISERY, walking shyly out in the sunshine to save her other people from her husband!

MEANWHILE, D&D BOY (STILL IN FULL COSTUME) HAS DEFIED BUSY-BODY AND HAS MET HIS FRIENDS IN A STEAM TUNNEL! WHAT WILL BECOME OF THEM???

[316zombie]

d&d boy's best friend is none other than....the feminist!sheila is her name,and when she first joined a gaming group she was informed that she could NEVER be a hero,only a peripheral female to be used and abused by the"real men"!she discovered her secret feminist powers the day she ,singlehandedly,killed both the balrog AND the gimli,by overwhelming them with female logic....she didn't have to kill them,just destroy their machismo..d&d boy was there,and fell in love,but the feminist was a manhater from there on in,d7d boy was just a convenient toy,unbeknownst to him,poor child...

[clockworkcanary]

...but little did D&D Boy realize that he and Ultra-Feminist's gaming group was being infultrated by none-other-than one of the Shadowy Gang members who also just happened to have abducted Angry Amish Guy and force-fed him alcohol.  The mole's name was Munchy the Rules Lawyer (played by Psycho Tom Cruise)! 

Munchy the Rules Lawyer was just one of the gaming group that consisted of D&D Boy, Ultra-Feminist, Munchy himself, and the Crying Maze Controller (Tom Hanks).  He was discovered one night after being emasculated completely by Sheila, the Ultra-Feminist over who had a better Flat-footed Armor Class and better Fortitude Saving Throw.  After wasting some game time, looking up a few different rules, and jumping up and down on the couch like an assbag, he fell further in defeat.  Since Munchy was totally not prepared to be beaten by a girl, he lashed out and clotheslined the gaming props, dice, and minatures, spilling them on the floor.  In a rage, his hat fell off revealing a bright blue mo-hawk!

Maze Controller, "I am the absolute authority in this game!  You aren't one of us after all!!!! you're...you're one of them!!!" - he recongized the hair-do and Maze Controller starts to cry.

Yes, it was true -no, he wasn't a member of the Douchebags, per se, even though he might have fit the description.  NO, he had a membership card and the signature hair-style of the same shadowy group that has our hero, the Angry Amish Guy! 

In the dark alley, spitting up some alcohol and feeiling quite dehydrated, Angry Amish Guy awakens in a drunken blurr, realizing he's surrounded by his old nemisis, The K-Mart Punkers!!!!!!!

[Doc Daneeka]

BEHIND THE LOCAL K-MART, ANGRY-AMISH MAN CONFRONTS THE APTLY-NAMED K-MART PUNKERS

Angry Amish: You young ones have no right assaulting your elder like this!

Punker 1: Shut up old man, I'm your elder in awesomeness!

Angry Amish: Our kind is not awesome at all it is-

Punker 1: Hey! Don't use the word "our" when comparing you to me, see? 'Specially when we're talkin' bout awesomeness! We ain't even in the same class, man! Bet you can't hold a smoke to your arm long as I can!

Angry Amish: I am more humble than that...

Punker 1: Shut up!

The Punker pulls a cigarette out of nowhere and holds it to Angry-Amish Man's face! In his stone-faced-ness (and drunkeness), the Amish Man does not even react.

Punker 1: Well f**k you man!

In defiance, the Punker sticks the cigarette down the hero's shirt, as it begins to burn, Angry-Amish Man becomes more sober and scared every minute

Angry Amish Man: O Lord! It is times like these when I wish technology were not so evil so I might call someone for help!

Punker 2: OOOOOooooo "It is times like these when I wish technology were not so evil so I might call someone for help!" OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Punker 1: Yeah, I did him up real good, huh?

Punker 3: Dude, that's so old, shut the hell up, no one cares anymore!

Sadly, Punker 1 resumes laughing trying to save face. While the K-Mart Punkers are absorbed in their hilarity, the cigarette burns through Angry Amish Man's restraints. The appropriately named hero rises and confronts the Punkers, after a few seconds, they notice him.

Punker 1: Ohh, so you're up now huh? We-well we can take you!

Punker 2: Y-Yeah, right!

The present Punkers all try and gang up on the Angry Amish man, to no avail! Our resident anti-hero beats them all down like his own children.

Angry Amish Man: That'll teach you!!!! Respect your elders! Go to Sunday school instead of hanging around this filthy stonewalled tree of knowledge!

With this Angry Amish Man unwisely treats himself to another big drink of booze

MEANWHILE, IN THE STEAM TUNNEL, MUNCHY THE RULES LAWYER IS INTERROGATED BY D&D BOY AND THE FEMINIST. THE CRYING MAZE CONTROLLER, DISAPPOINTED THAT HE HAS BEEN LEFT ALONE, GYRATES AROUND LIKE THE STAR WARS KID WITH A PLASTIC SWORD[/I]

D&D Boy: I don't want to hurt you, Munchy.

The Feminist: But I do!!

D&D Boy: I just want to know if you are plotting something!

The Feminist: We know you're plotting something!

Munchy: ....Oh... Okay... I am attracted by my former fake friend's friendly loyalty, and scared by my nemesis's threats! I-I'll tell you! ...Our gang is plotting to get Angry Amish Man ...drunk!

They gasp!

D&D Boy: Why?

The Feminist: Tell us unless you want to get beat!

Munchy: We were hired to!

The Feminist: Give us the damn details!

Munchy: We don't know! We only know what the Grand Loiterer told us!

The Feminist: That's good enough... I guess I'll go easy on you, this once.

D&D Boy: Thank you... You did good.

Munchy: G-Geez... Th-Thank you!

D&D Boy: We've got no time to lose!

Feminist: what's this "we" business?

D&D Boy: Ohhh, comon! Can't you just be nice this once!?

Feminist: Well.... I enjoy your pitiful begging, and I guess an Amish man would be a good subject to teach about girl power... I'll help you, on one condition!

D&D Boy: Anything!

Feminist: The official story, is you are helping me, got it?!

D&D Boy: So what else is new?

Feminist: I'll ignore the sarcasm I perceived there... Follow me!

Munchy: Wait! ...Take me with you!

D&D Boy: Munchy, you want to go with us?

Feminist: We're not stupid, Munchy. What's your motive?

Munchy: I-I don't got none... I just, I just, don't wanna be left alone, ya' know??

Feminist: ...Okay, you can tag along... but I'll be keeping an eye on you...

Munchy: 'Kay, it's cool...

The Feminist shouts a daring battle cry as she runs down the steam tunnel entrance, the others following her, pathetically mimicking her battle-cry. The Crying Maze Controller, sad at being left alone again makes a cry of frustration and runs further down the steam tunnel

[clockworkcanary]

...the Crying Maze Controller, staggers deeper into the steam tunnels, crying because he's all alone.  Suddenly, he drops his bad-hair-helmet.  When he reaches down to pick it up, he inadvertantly narrowly dodges a tendril smack!  He looks across sewer as steam pours out all over the place, slowly revealing an octopuss-woman!

Octo-Woman: "Yes it is I, Octo-Woman!  You will pay the ultimate price for invading my lair!"  Tom...I mean, Maze Controller uses his special move, crying, to no avail.  She coils some of her tendrils around Hanks...I mean, Maze Controller and she blasts him with an ink jet before dropping him into some kinda web thing.  He's tangled, crying, and covered with sticky black ink that kinda webs him up against the wall.

Octo-Woman, talking directly to the camera: "Hmmmm I'll eat him later... there must be more where he came from! I may not even have to go up and terrorize the city for food tonight!" and with that, she hears a faint feminist battle cry from the superheroes down the tunnel!

[Doc Daneeka]

Octo-Woman: I'll follow them upwards and begin my reign of terror!

With a wicked laugh she does. Meanwhile, our various super-people emerge heroically from the sewer

D&D Boy: Let's-

Feminist: Let's find this old bastard!!!

Munchy: Sure guys...

D&D Boy leads the group, simply because he is the one who knows where Amish Man is. Ultra-Feminist still looks like the one in change whilst Munchy trails behind, looking shifty. Octo Woman emerges behind them, crawling after them like cheap CG imitating Harryhausen...

MEANWHILE. ANGRY AMISH MAN, HAVING WANDERED AROUND IN A DRUNKEN STUPOR FOR A LONG TIME, COMES BACK TO A SORT OF HALF-CONSCIOUSNESS, GRUMBLING AND BORDERING ON ANGRY! INTO THE SCENE SKULKS MISSUS MISERY

Misery: Please, Jebediah... Come home with me... You know you don't want to go into one of your moods again....

Angry-Amish: BLARRRGGGG!

With this, Angry-Amish Man slaps his wife across the cheek, knocking her down into the alley, and continues on his merry way

Misery: O-Okay Jebediah... I'll let you W-wait

Angry-Amish Man hunches angrily into town. Meanwhile at Douchebags Inc...

[clockworkcanary]

Meanwhile, at Douchebags Inc. headquarters, their ultra-leader and former Phukmart Greeter, Franken-Cheney is giving a rallying speech, shuffling through his papers and five deferrment requests; he is trying to persuade everyone to spread their douchebagness across the land, sea, and air.  His speech is quite receptive to the rows and rows of douchebags all raising their fists in unison!  In attendence are second stringer villains such as Wet Willy, Turkey Pull, Tailgater, and that guy who talks on his cell phone in the theater.

Just then, Angry Amish guy kicks in the western-style double doors as every douchebag gasps in surprise!

Franken-Cheney: "ah! here he is...our newest recruit!  Welcome to the dark side, my friend!  Thank you for the secret codes to the superzero's base!  My friends, this is no longer just simply the Angry Amish Guy...he has evolved into...Drunken Wife Beater!!!!"

And with that, Angry Amish Guy guzzles a Miller Lite and rips off his nicely-pressed flanel shirt to reveal that he is indeed wearing a wife-beater t-shirt! "yes...I will punch all the b***hes who don't make me a turkey pot pie!!!!!!"

The rows and rows of douchebags cheer Drunken Wife Beater's betrayal as Franken-Cheney reveals his master plan...

[Doc Daneeka]

Franken-Cheney: Okay Wife-Beater, are you ready?

Wifebeater: Just get on with it!

Franken-Cheney: Behind every great man there is a greater woman...

Douchebags: BOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Franken-Cheney: And all the "great" men are girly-men!

Douchebags: HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Franken-Cheney: These girly-men would not last a second without their appropriately lesbian wives, and who would be the expert on mysoginistic gender-intolerance?

Douchebags: UUUGGGHHH???

Franken-Cheney: A big-fat, angry wifebeating Amish man!

young-version David Patrick Kelly D-Bag: B-But where would we get one of those?

Franken-Cheney: Thanks to the army of Wal-Mart Punkers I secretly gave free Moonshine, spraypaint, and blunt objects in exchange for loyalty, we have one in our clutches!!!

Wifebeater: I ain't in no one's clutches!!

Franken-Cheney: Eh, who cares? The Wifebeater will mercilessly slap around and abduct the wives of all the honest politicians in the area, while they helplessly lose their influence without their emotional support and devote all their time to finding their mates, who, by the time they can pick up the trail will be hopeless drunkards and perfect mates for we douchebags! Then, with them by our side and only corrupt politicians fit to be in office, we will bribe our way to power!

Wifebeater: Well, as much as I hate the politics and adultery stuff such as that... I do like beer and a good one-sided fight!

Steven Anthony Lawrence D-Bag: Yeah, well I don't think this oldster could do it! I can't beat up my sister and this geezer can't beat up anyone's wife!

Franken-Cheney: Do you think you're smart? I'll prove to you my plan is infalliblle... BRING OUT THE PRISONER!

On his command, two Douchebags enter stage right, bringing with them a housewife type, sulking

Franken-Cheney: No, no, no! I meant for you to bring the other one first!

The D-Bags start to lead the woman back away, but Cheney gives one a slap, prompting them to stay. From stage left enter two other Douchebags, rolling in a table, with The BusyBody duct-taped to it!

Franken-Cheney: Do your stuff, Wifebeater!

Wifebeater: !BRragh....

Busy-Body: Don't do it, Angry-Amish Man! You're my friend!

Wifebeater: You're a girly man!

Busy-Body: You're a hero!

Wifebeater: Thank you, I try and keep 'em in their place...

Busy-Body: I need to protect my wife! I made a promise to her! To love, honor, and obey!

Wifebeater: Obey this!

With this, the wifebeater begins doing what his name suggests, beating BusyBody's wife in front of him!

BusyBody: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I forgot about tracking down Robo-Chicken!!!!! ....I forgot to put a parking ticket on that Pontiac!!!!! ....I forgot to put the toilet seat down!!!!! ....I forgot to turn the porchlight on!!!!!

[clockworkcanary]

Meanwhile, at a nearby Starbucks...

D&D Boy, UF, and Munchy catchup with Maze Controller Hanks at the counter...Maze Controller stops crying long enough to order the special coffee of the day.  The others try to convince him to return to HQ for re-education but he resists.  It's all a moot point because Octo Woman busts through the doors, tentacles swinging!!!

Everyone in the place screams and tries to run, but it's just no use.  Maze Controller starts crying again as random patrons are grappled and thrown into expresso machines like there's no tomorrow. 

The four superheroes try to stop her but they realize they're kinda useless since they either don't have any super powers, gadgets, or gizmos to speak of that might help in this situation!

Maze Controller is the first to go down as he eats a mad tentacle (what other kind is there?) in the face; Octo-Woman constricts his head and thrashes his body until it goes limp!  She tosses it into some tables on the other side of the place!

UF: "MAZE CONTROLLER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The other three are no match for Octo-Woman, even with D&D Boy's Short Sword +1, +3 vs Sea Creatures.  He takes a few jabs but she knocks his weapon out of the way and it bounces over the counter.  She proceeds to eat his face!

Two left: UF and Munchy - they shrug and bull rush the Octo-Woman and she crushes Munchy right off the bat.  She constricts her tentacles around UF at a slower pace, but not before she presses the "Help" button on her HQ-issued Communicator! 

Meanwhile, back at Superhero HQ...