Confucious he say......

[Trevor]

Person who cook meat and peas in same pot: Most unhygenic. 

Person going through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok. 

Person having tummy accident will produce skidmarks. 

[Mr. DS]

Man who stand on toliet high on pot. 

Man who buy drown cat pay for wet p*ssy.

[Jack]

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers!

[Trevor]

Man who run in front of car get tired. 

Man who run behind car get exhausted. 

Man who push piano down mine shaft get tone of A flat miner. 

Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn. 

[The Burgomaster]

Person going through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok. 

[Trevor]

Person going through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok. 

This also happens to you if you try to board a plane quickly at Johannesburg's O R Tambo International Airport. 

[AndyC]

Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key.

[Trevor]

Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key.

True words, brother, true words.  And I speak from experience.