Man Tries To Turn Poo Into Gold

Psycho Circus · October 20, 2011, 02:03:51 PM

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/man-jailed-after-trying-to-turn-faeces-into-gold-.html

No matter how much you shine it, a turd is simply a turd.

Jack · October 20, 2011, 02:06:38 PM

I'm no alchemist, but I'm pretty sure that's not the correct material to start with.

BoyScoutKevin · October 20, 2011, 04:45:38 PM

Quote from: Jack on October 20, 2011, 02:06:38 PM
I'm no alchemist, but I'm pretty sure that's not the correct material to start with.

You are correct, sir. Everyone who knows their fairy tales knows you need straw to spin into gold. But, I can see a modern retelling of "Rumplestiltskin," where you spin not straw, but poo into gold.

Rev. Powell · October 20, 2011, 06:19:02 PM

He must have just seen THE HOLY MOUNTAIN.

Trevor · October 21, 2011, 01:34:50 AM

I think I could make a fortune with my undies residue...

Mofo Rising · October 21, 2011, 04:42:00 AM

Quote from: Jack on October 20, 2011, 02:06:38 PM
I'm no alchemist, but I'm pretty sure that's not the correct material to start with.

That's right. Everybody knows poo is for creating little homunculi in jars, not for gold-makin'.

Mr. DS · October 21, 2011, 02:05:14 PM

Whenever I dig for gold I start with my nose.

Leah · October 22, 2011, 06:25:34 PM

So I'm guessing he coulda made a s**t loads of money, but failed!

AndyC · October 31, 2011, 08:54:15 AM

Quote from: BoyScoutKevin on October 20, 2011, 04:45:38 PM
Quote from: Jack on October 20, 2011, 02:06:38 PM
I'm no alchemist, but I'm pretty sure that's not the correct material to start with.

You are correct, sir. Everyone who knows their fairy tales knows you need straw to spin into gold. But, I can see a modern retelling of "Rumplestiltskin," where you spin not straw, but poo into gold.

That's where the rump comes in.

AndyC · November 01, 2011, 09:50:14 PM

It just occurred to me that this is not unprecedented. Television networks turn poo into gold every day.

Olivia Bauer · November 01, 2011, 10:36:32 PM

I thought this was a thread about Uwe Boll, my mistake.