For sale, 55 gallon drum of lube.

[sprite75]

Yep, this exists.

For some reason, there's a 55 gallon keg of lube for sale on Amazon. When something like that pops up, you can expect the Internet to react accordingly. And it did. Read on for the funniest reviews.

And in case you were wondering, yes Amazon still offers this for sale.

[Trevor]

Yep, this exists.

For some reason, there's a 55 gallon keg of lube for sale on Amazon. When something like that pops up, you can expect the Internet to react accordingly. And it did. Read on for the funniest reviews.

And in case you were wondering, yes Amazon still offers this for sale.

Here's my favourite review:

Yes, yes and yes. Here's why I love this product:

A) I'm a big fan of buying in bulk, especially for items you know you're going to use. No sense in buying the 6-pack of toilet paper when you know you'll be wiping your bum for years to come. And likewise, there's no sense in buying the 8oz bottle of lube when you know you'll be ramming willies up there every night until the day you die. 

2) Store this in your closet and save yourself the embarrassment of having another dry run--we all know how painful that is in the morning.

3) Go green. Less packaging material, less emissions in shipping several smaller containers. Even if you hate the planet, pretending to care is a major turn-on for a lot of people.

4) Be the life of the party. Post an ad on your favorite networking site, invite everyone over. Feel good knowing your essentials are taken care of. Create an event your guests will remember.

[sprite75]

Here's my favourite review:

Yes, yes and yes. Here's why I love this product:

A) I'm a big fan of buying in bulk, especially for items you know you're going to use. No sense in buying the 6-pack of toilet paper when you know you'll be wiping your bum for years to come. And likewise, there's no sense in buying the 8oz bottle of lube when you know you'll be ramming willies up there every night until the day you die. 

2) Store this in your closet and save yourself the embarrassment of having another dry run--we all know how painful that is in the morning.

3) Go green. Less packaging material, less emissions in shipping several smaller containers. Even if you hate the planet, pretending to care is a major turn-on for a lot of people.

4) Be the life of the party. Post an ad on your favorite networking site, invite everyone over. Feel good knowing your essentials are taken care of. Create an event your guests will remember.

A friend pointed me to George Takei's review this morning;

Brad and I will be Grand Marshals at this year's San Diego Pride Parade, and we were looking for just the right touch to add a bit of pizazz to our appearance. So when we stumbled across the PASSION NATURAL WATER BASED LUBRICANT - 55 GALLON drum, we felt we'd struck gold: "Just enough volume to soak an entire parade of spectators, and yet fits easily in our float." Double win.

Now, how to spray the lube on the excited on-lookers? Why, by water pump gun, of course. To test out our delivery mechanism, we purchased a drum for our back yard and set up a slip and slide. I had Brad charge toward me down the slide, and I fired at will. It helped to imagine he was a Klingon Bird of Prey: Target that explosion and FIRE.

What I didn't expect was that Brad's forward momentum would cause him to crash into me, upending the entire drum along with us. Utter chaos. Our unfortunate cats, who had come out to judge our activities as cats will, were caught in the deluge. Looking like drowned rats, they howled and sped around the yard in hysterical circles, then tried for ten minutes to climb a tree.

Once again, the neighbors thought we'd set something on fire, so the LAFD arrived shortly afterwards. Try explaining any of this to a stranger, especially a hunky one in uniform. "Hose me down?" I offered. He kindly did, then retrieved our cats out of the tree with only minor scratches to the face. (They still aren't speaking to us, by the way.)

[A_Dubya]

Only 55 gallons!? Pass.

[Bushma]

This stuff is awesome!  I just turned my sidewalk into a slip-n-slide.  The neighbor kids get really excited when the UPS truck shows up now.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Well load it into a super soaker! 

[bob]

The real question is did the person who put it up for bid from Florida?