Haiku Death Match

[Derf]

I occasionally participate in local poetry slams. I don't win, mind you, but they are fun and help to keep me writing. The last one advertised a special guest who specialized in haiku death matches. I had no idea what that was, but I knew I needed to participate. So I took my set of haiku that I wrote for this site in the Bad Movie Haiku section and went to the slam. A haiku death match is basically just two people at a mic. Each says a haiku. Judges in the audience decide which one they like better. Whoever wins 3 out of 5 decisions wins the match. I lost, but I did force a full 5 rounds in the match. My haiku were about Star Wars, Godzilla, Dracula, Frankenstein, and the creature from the Black Lagoon. I want to do this again.

[ER]

Best of luck to you
In your pursuit of haiku
Battlefield glory.

[Rev. Powell]

Suckas, I am the
Haiku master, and I sling
Fine, rare syllables.

[Trevor]

I am
Not sure how
You write
Or compose
A haiku

[Flangepart]

Ash has a temper
"Listen, primitive screwheads!"
Mouth is his boom stick

[Derf]

I am
Not sure how
You write
Or compose
A haiku

Three lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third. Generally, the first 2 lines set a scene or make an image, and the third line says something that at least pretends to be profound or makes a funny.

Trevor's underpants
Contain things gross and nasty.
His nuts may fall off.

Or something like that...

[Trevor]

Three lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third. Generally, the first 2 lines set a scene or make an image, and the third line says something that at least pretends to be profound or makes a funny.

Trevor's underpants
Contain things gross and nasty.
His nuts may fall off.

Or something like that...

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