Assassin 33 A.D.

Rev. Powell · January 21, 2020, 03:29:53 PM

Plot: Islamic terrorists develop a time machine to go back to the Holy Land and assassinate Jesus Christ before he can be crucified. Devout Christians rig up their own machine and race back to stop them.

Does not look good.

http://youtu.be/XFnVZnrFWdo

zombie no.one · January 21, 2020, 04:49:42 PM

with lines such as "Are you okay?" "We have a problem" and "STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER" I'm amazed this has only won a mere 50 screenplay awards.

check out the director and official channel uploader arguing with people in the YT comments...classy!

Rev. Powell · January 21, 2020, 05:17:31 PM

I think the terrorists should have thought their plot to "eliminate Christianity by killing Jesus before the resurrection" through a little more carefully.

LilCerberus · January 21, 2020, 06:23:08 PM

In a way, reminds me of that MAD TV sketch, where The Terminator his to go back in time & stop Judas from betraying Jesus, but I don't have time to look it up right now...........

Trevor · January 21, 2020, 07:56:04 PM

Quote from: Rev. Powell on January 21, 2020, 03:29:53 PM
Plot: Islamic terrorists develop a time machine to go back to the Holy Land and assassinate Jesus Christ before he can be crucified. Devout Christians rig up their own machine and race back to stop them.

Does not look good.

http://youtu.be/XFnVZnrFWdo

The IMDB page for this says "Currently pitching": foul ball, I say.

indianasmith · January 21, 2020, 08:04:05 PM

I need a fifteen foot pole, because I would definitely not touch this with a ten foot pole.

Come to think of it, really, I don't know that there is a pole long enough . . .

chainsaw midget · January 21, 2020, 10:18:36 PM

Quote from: Rev. Powell on January 21, 2020, 05:17:31 PM
I think the terrorists should have thought their plot to "eliminate Christianity by killing Jesus before the resurrection" through a little more carefully.

... how exactly is that supposed to work?

"He died and then came back to life. So if we go back and kill him before he dies and comes back he... wait a second..."

it looks like most of their budget went into making the logo as well.

LilCerberus · January 21, 2020, 10:54:33 PM

ADHD
http://youtu.be/UBlGup9uCwU

bob · January 21, 2020, 10:57:19 PM

that sounds utterly insane

lester1/2jr · January 21, 2020, 11:08:19 PM

If jesus was assasinated they would change the bible story around to have it be "the prophecy says he is to be assasinated"

anyway he's a prophet in the quran as everyone knows so not sure why they would assassinate their own prophet

Gabriel Knight · January 22, 2020, 06:35:19 AM

Quote from: Rev. Powell on January 21, 2020, 05:17:31 PM
I think the terrorists should have thought their plot to "eliminate Christianity by killing Jesus before the resurrection" through a little more carefully.

Maybe that's the twist at the end. The terrorist succed in their mission but nothing changes, and then they found out that Jesus resurrected.

Hey, I'm just trying to make sense to this madness of a plot.

Archivist · January 27, 2020, 08:28:48 PM

Oh, this looks truly dreadful. The cinematographer and gaffer needed to work harder on the interior shots, the lighting is flat and just doesn't work. Too much shadow in the eye sockets. Ugh. And this won how many screenwriting awards? How??

But... doesn't Islam recognize Jesus as a prophet?

chainsaw midget · January 28, 2020, 04:52:24 PM

QuoteAnd this won how many screenwriting awards? How??

The thing you need to ask yourself when you see something has won awards is "Who gave them the awards?"

Remember, anyone can give an award.

In fact, I'm going to give you an award right now. Your post has just earned you the Annual Chainsaw Midget Award for Written Works. Make sure you put that on your next job resume.