Name Ten Rotten Things About Yourself

[ER]

And to flip Indy's positive little thread over onto its back....


1. For April Fool's once I bought fake scratch-offs, all of them looking like winners, and put them inside  the pockets of jeans on a rack at Target.

2. I made up stories about ghosts in the basement of a place where I used to work, and then I'd send whatever intern looked most credulous down there alone for paper or something.

3. I once convinced someone to wear a flea collar around his neck, as a fashion statement for SXSW, and his neck got a rash.

4. I went into a Taco Bell and in front of a booth of his friends, loudly apologized to this jerk for the fact some girl went around after their breakup telling everyone he had a small penis.

5. I sometimes greet a trans friend of my cousin's by saying,  "How they hanging, Kimmie?"

6. I took out a mob hit on someone here. (OK, I'm kidding.)

7. I once drew a naked picture of Yoda for a birthday present for my friend.

8. I've had to be so professionally chameleonic to the point of coming back and feeling like I've lost touch with myself, so I always leave myself a note that reads: "Relax, b***h, you still suck as much as you did before you left." That really helps.

9. I once halfway convinced this dude that his Japanese-language tattoo had a misspelling in it.

10. I have always told my children there is no Santa Claus.

[Trevor]

10. I once farted in religious class and blamed the boy next to me. The teacher made him stand outside for 10 minutes.

[zelmo73]

I could only think of 5 so far because I'm really not that rotten of a guy.



1. In third grade, I cheated on my history exam.

2. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.

3. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog.

4. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out!

5. I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. And I never felt so bad in my entire life!