Most painful movies ever (a survey)

[Lee]

Million Dollar Hotel-I dare you to stick with this one!

Splitsville-More annoying kids than I could count!

Space Truckers-Extreme stupidity!!!

Any movie that gets shown on Lifetime!!!!

[john]

Here's my list of most painful movies;

Boarding House - Shot with a camcorder for about $2 and makes no sense. Stupid.

Troll 2 - Takes the characters half the movie to figure out that Nilbog is Goblin backwards.

Dolly Dearest  - Worst Child's Play ripoff around. They probably spent $5 on the doll.

Liquid Sky - Aliens in an apartment building with punk rockers. That's as far as I got before turning it off.

Razorblade Smile - Ugly British female vampire takes jobs as a hired killer.

Forbidden Zone - Herve Villechaize as the king of an alternate dimension, complete with cardboard (literally!) sets, a frogman and much other weirdness.

Star Crash - David Hasselhoff in a bad Italian space movie with stars that look like multi-colored Christmas lights.

Max Knight, Ultra Spy - Bad guy plans to kill everyone in the world so that he can live on in cyberspace. Dialog like, "I can't hold the RAM, I'm losing the codecs!"

[Nemo2342]

>Max Knight, Ultra Spy - Bad guy plans to kill everyone in the >world so that he can live on in cyberspace. Dialog like,
>"I can't hold the RAM, I'm losing the codecs!"

Just the description of that one made me cringe. Must have struck too close to home.john wrote:

[jmc]

ZEDER
ZOMBIE LAKE

Probably a tie for the worst zombie films of all time.  

FORBIDDEN ZONE is actually one of my favorite films.

[Nathan]

"Star Crash - David Hasselhoff in a bad Italian space movie with stars that look like multi-colored Christmas lights."

Star Crash is bad, but not painful -- it's hilarious.  Many movies are claimed to be the successor to the Plan 9 legacy, but this one takes the cake.

Nathan

[Chris K.]

The most painful movies ever, in my opinion, are:

1.) PEARL HARBOR
2.) BRAVEHEART (yes, this film is pretty bad and yes, it's the Mel Gibson one)
3.) DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?
4.) AMERICAN PIE
5.) SCARY MOVIE
6.) THE PATRIOT
7.) FREDDY GOT FINGERED

That's all I have for now.

[sm]

"THE JUDAS PROJECT"...if you can find it...it's the most absolutely boring film EVER that spends too much of the film trying to promote the christian music. Although it might be controversial to show any kind of religious flick in a public forum..it still gets my vote as the worst film I've ever rented. "Boxing Helena" might come 2nd but it's up there..tho tons more entertaining than the Judas. This movie was so horrid I couldn't even finish watching it..i remember something about a ridiculous crucifiction scene on a barn door or something and I had enough..lol

[Neo]

I am surpirised that the only one who listed Curse of the Screaming Dead wasmy pal Statcat. If you have yet to see this crap, You are extremely lucky!!! I have a copy of it and I want so badly to burn it. To bad the damn thing wont du=ie or I would!

-Neo-

[StatCat]

I admit to like the boarding house- overly cheesy and bad, the trailer is more entertaining then the movie but this is probably one of the first shot on video movies. It's pretty weird but most of it makes me laugh, kind of like hobgoblins for me but on a lesser level.

I'm trying to remember some of the music from curse of the screaming dead, it was really awful. That part with the toy car exploding is the best!

[Bree]

I also forgot:

Rawhead Rex---I was expecting a scary monster and it turned out to be a Muppet with a bad hair day.

The Time Guardian---there's a reason why Carrie Fisher doesn't make a whole lot of movies. And I like Carrie.

Horror Planet a.k.a. Insemnioid

Space Mutiny

Rabid---Marilyn Chambers should stick to porno.

[john]

>Just the description of that one made me cringe.

 Oh it gets better. To make contact with Max Knight, you stick one of his special metallic business cards in the PCMCIA slot of any computer, slip on VR goggles and have a perfect VR interview with his talking, sentient female computer. The movie ends with him getting a call for help from the future.

 I knew I was forgetting some movies and just now it occurred to me that I omitted the most painful movie I have ever had the displeasure of sitting through;

 To the Ends of Time - It starts out with a kingdom up in the air being attacked by flying sialing ships. The king orders the wizard to make a weapon that will protect them, so he creates a clock that when started can never be stopped and which will make their enemies age and die. The king is horrified and orders him to destroy it, but an evil sorceress steals it and starts it. Everyone starts aging and a boy sets out on a quest to stop it (I thought it was unstoppable?). He turns into an old man and dies just as he reaches the clock, but as he falls, he drops the ring that the princess gave him. It falls into the gears, destroys the clock and everything goes back to the way it was. Believe me, it's much worse than it sounds!

[BoyScoutKevin]

If one wants to compile a list of bad movies, this site is a good place to start. I am just surprised, that--except for "Sextette"--few of the movies that Andrew dislikes are mentioned.
I have found his rating system fairly reliable, so if he gives a death's head to a film, it must be really bad.
As a reminder, these are the films that he gave a death's head to, starting with "Octopus."
Alien Dead
Alien Prey
Cars That Ate Paris
Death Ship
GI Samurai
In Service to America
Jacker II
Maleorvs
Mongrel
Mutant
Night of the Zombie
Peepers
Pigs
Robo Chick
Urban Warriors
Voodoo Academy
I could say enjoy, but I won't.

[Notoriousaurus]

But i'm against kids like you being forced to commit suicide. You have so much to live for...

[Ludovico]

Alien Prey
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Ransom (1996)