Movies that should NOT be edited for TV

[J.R.]

I once tried to watch the edited Mallrats on USA. Wow. You never actually hear Jay's real voice. Everyone says, "Darn! I can't see the gosh-darn boat! Melonscratcher!".

[Jim Hepler]

It's probably been mentioned, but The Big Lebowski.  The whole Strange in the Alps line..  Ha ha.

[John]

>Edited Dumb and Dumber is a classic.

 "I once crossed a bulldog with a s**tzu." Lauren Holly looks at him and he just stands there giggling. The punchline is completely missing.

 Some other favorites;

Lethal Weapon;
"Martin, you're being an a***ole." > "Martin, you're being an airhead."

Tremors;
"Jesus Christ" > "Judas Priest", "

"Broke into the wrong goddamn rec-room didn't you, you sum-b***h!" > "Broke into the wrong gol-durn rec-room didn't you, you big jerk!"

[Vermin Boy]

I'm almost afraid to ask, but... Strange in the Alps?

[systemcr4sh]

Oh yeah what about:

"Killer klowns from outer space? Holy s**t!"
to
"Killer Klowns from outer space? Holy .. smoke.."

[Frederik Pileborg]

My GOD! How can you people stand this senseless butchering? It would drive me insane in seconds. But then I'm probably spoiled from living in a country with virtually no censorship at all. Films broadcast on TV here are (almost) always the same as the theatrical release. At least that's a small upside to being eurotrash.

Of course, my favourite example is the Spanish children's show that featured full frontal nudity. You don't see that every day.

[Susan]

Isn't it interesting how some cable networks are more strict on censoring than others. You can sell ass whore b***h and a ton of other things on the main networks like NBC (even last season on ER they said 's**t). And yet movies with original PG-13 ratings on TBS and the like are getting a major swing of the censor axe.

[J.R.]

I've heard "Son of a snitch!" and "airhead" instead of a-hole is common. Once I caught Goonies on the Disney channel. Every "Oh,my God," is changed to "Gosh,", but the dubbing is messed up so they say, "Oh, my God-sh,".

[Offthewall]

I love how when editing the word a***ole, the edit hole not ass.

Also Mallrats and Clerks might just be the best editing ever because Kevin Smith reportly purposely did the WORST EDITING EVER. He didn't want them to air the movies in the first place so he edited them really really poorly.

Randal ordering Porno's is simply

I need one of the following (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and (mute) and that's all, oh yeah, what was that you wanted.

[Scully1888]

ARMY OF DARKNESS - "I got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now, Jack and ------ ...and Jack just left town.

Makes no f**kin sense like that!

[Jim Hepler]

I don't remember the exact line..  "That's what you get when you f**k a stranger in the ass"

I can't remember the butchered version perfectly, but ass becomes alps.

[Cullen]

How's this for obnoxious editing:

The T.V. version of the movie Prince of Darkness was edited so that the whole story was just a dream

JUST A DREAM!

Done no doubt to avoid offending people.  Didn't work; I was offended.

[Lee]

How about Back To The Future? It's funny to watch on tv: "Geez Louies Doc!" and"You sonofabutthead."

[John]

>Of course, my favourite example is the Spanish children's show that featured full >frontal nudity.

 What show was this? Xuxa?

>Isn't it interesting how some cable networks are more strict on censoring than >others.

 Sometimes, but not always. USA/SFC will allow things like "ass", "p**sed" and "son of a b***h" in the shows they produce, but they'll censor them out of shows they buy the rights to. That makes no sense to me. USA will even censor the slightest bit of nudity, even if you don't see anything. At one they were airing Highlander and they put a blurry patch under a woman's arm while she changed her top with her back to the camera, since you could see the side of her breast. Ok, so they don't like nudity, but then on La Femme Nikita, the main male star of the show got out of bed completely nude and walked away from the camera in a well-lit room, with no censoring or obstruction of the view of any kind. His bare butt was on clear display for several seconds. Of course if they ever air Lethal Weapon, they'll censor the nearly identical scene of Mel Gibson.

 In an early episode of the show First Wave, the star discovers a cloning factory where all the bodies are nude, but hanging by strategically placed straps so that you don't actually see anything. However, any scene that would have given you a good look at any of the female bodies (you could see about half their breasts on either side of the straps), they electronically zoomed the picture in on the star to crop the bodies out of the frame. In a later season, they had a female wrestler as a guest star and she started out hanging nude in the exact same kind of straps and there was no censoring.

[J.R.]

One of the worst offenders is Comedy Central. Anytime there's nudity or graphic violence, instead of just cutting the scene or blurring out the offensive image they zoom the view, making the picture fuzzy and distorted, to crop it out. A good example is the prison shower scene in Half Baked.