PYTHONS 2 : UFO Productions. A Scifi Ch.

[Flangepart]

Schyeah, right!
.... Plot : Giant mutant snakes eat lots of soldiers trying to recapture them. As most of the monster fodder is Russian, we learn giant snakes have a taste for Borscht.
....STUFF TO WATCH FOR! ::::
----------------------------------------------
.... "Somewhere in Russia." So why does the gear on these Spetznas types look U.S.?"
....The famous opening the fancy doors sequance. "Movie sign!"
.... Thank  you, Sargent Exposision.
.... Blackhawk Up.
.... AK-47 Vs. Supersnake. So...show us the snake already.
.... So, Sgt. Exposision doubles as Sgt. Capitilist Bastard. Cost effective, i'll admit that.
.... Sounds like giant mutant snakes have astima.
.... Actual Russian actors! So thats why the accents work!
.... Thats a C-123 transport plane. Its too short for those big ass reptiles!
.... Thats the cargo box? Its too small, movie....
.... They died as they lived. Plot movement devices.
.... Our hero and his wife. Cute couple. But they show us her butt first thing. "Oink!"
.... Greasy forigne pig. Check!
.... Plot advancment wears a raincoat. Our spook, Ladies and Gents.
.... Just how did they get that big assed snake in that lil crate? Its a CLOWN snake box! Only possable answer. Goodby, secret Russian Lab.
.... Our hero is a former baseball pitcher. What to guess what he does later?
.... Body count so far,15...oops...make that 16.
....She did not see that big assed snake break her windshield? I disbelieve!
....Hey, don't punch him, ya jamoke! You decided to follow them into the secret underground lab where something dangerious lives! Schmuck.
.... Look, Movie, we know his pitching ability will save the day. So, if we could just get to the eating, shooting, running,and screaming...........
.... The Bland leading the Blind.
....  Well, that explains the title. But, just two snakes? Oh...budget.
.... Stupid,Stupid hero creature! She might live if she gets the C-4, she will die if she don't try. Shes the only one who can relive the oooold air duct routine.Deal with it!
.... She can out run that  very fast big assed snake.......right...........
.... See, Mr. Spook, if you haden't been tretcherious, you could have gotten out before the big snake put the squeese on you, but noooooo...
.... F-117's attack: "Bombs away?" Thats a Maveric missle! It flies, it does not drop! You shoot it!I hate this movie now, like i had not before!
.... The Maveric also has a 220lb warhead! Those explosions would turn them and the snake into paste from concussion alone! I hate you, movie! They are dead to me, do you hear, dead!
.... And, finaly(Yea!)....Put them in jail, if you please, Mr. Russian M.P. They deserve it, for being in this film.
....Flangepart says.....Rip this stupid thing a new one!
.... The Clown snake box, the belabouring the baseball pitching, the invunerable snake, ...Oy! At least the Russian actors were competant. I say, view this movie, with extream predjudice. CGI snakes...why did it have to be CGI snakes?........Back to you Andrew.

[Steven Millan]

            What?!  "Python 2" has already been made,and the names of Fred Olen Ray,Jim Wynorski,Albert Pyun,Gary Busey,Jeff Fahey,and Eric Roberts aren't attached to this film?!?
             Now,that's a real outrage(at least to them)!!!

[Squishy]

I tried; I sighed; I cried; then I died. I couldn't make it through the first fifteen minutes of this turd. I gave up during the hideously-edited "execution of the bandits or rebels or whatever the hell they were" bit. The night I watched it, there wasn't yet an IMDB entry.

Man, for a snake, that thing sure made a lot of noise. Growling and snarling and farting and squealing and roaring--constantly. Made more vocalizations than Reptilicus or Bruce in "Jaws: The Revenge."

[Flangepart]

I watched my tape of this...thing...last night. I kept cutting between the tape, and "Tremors 2"....it helped me, realy. Tremors reminded me "See. There are good movies out there. its not all bleak and hopeless as Pythons 2". After i stopped sobbing, and  Earl and Burt made me laugh, i felt, just bearly, able to take another 10 minutes of Pythons 2.  
....Mind you, i do know how Andrew feels about "Sorority House vampires"or what ever the current torment on the home page is. At least ya got to look at hooters, Jarhead!....i'm sorry...sorry,Andrew....i'm...just bitter.
.... Pythons 2, is  much better then...(Shudder)...Octopus....did i just say that? Ah, who am i kidding......death by Lion, death by herd of rabid dingos...you choose!
.... 15 minutes? You made it that far? Diden't your spider sense tingle? Better have that checked.