Crappy Holidays

[AndyC]

I've got a movie column to write for our Christmas issue next week, and I can't think of a sufficiently bad Christmas movie.

In past years, I've done Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Mexican Santa Claus and the Star Wars Holiday Special.

Any suggestions for this year?

[Vermin Boy]

You could look at one of the many Christmas-themed slasher films: Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night, Christmas Evil, Santa Claws, Jack Frost, etc.

[AndyC]

Thought about that, but what I'm really looking for is something in the same vein as the others - a thoroughly ridiculous attempt at a nice Christmas movie.

[Brian Ringler]

Even though not a full movie, in the movie outtakes they have a fake trailor for a fake movie called Black Christmas (not the Black Christmas from the 70's).  I actually caught up with the director Jack Sell and got a full copy of that footage from him a while back (it was actually a 30 minute movie in the original cut of the film which ends up only being 5 minutes in the final cut).

[Mofo Rising]

How about SANTA CLAUSE: THE MOVIE with John Lithgow and Dudley Moore?

Or even worse, how about SANTA WITH MUSCLES with Hulk Hogan?

[wheresthecarrot]

Santa with muscles is BAD....would be a good choice

[Dano]

.

[Scottie]

Santa with Muscles is always guaranteed to rise a number of groans from those who have seen it. We watched it on Wednesday in the Film Club I am el presidente of at my high school, and as everybody was leaving, I counted 8 people to hit me on the head as they left. It's definitely worth writing home about, if you write about bad movies.

-Scott*

[JohnL]

Ernest Saves Christmas

[Neville]

And what about that movie where Tim Allen becomes Santo through CGI effects?

[Foywonder]

THE SANTO CLAUSE - Tim Allen is a mild-mannered American on vacation in Mexico who accidentally hits the Mexican wrestler with his car and kills him. Later, more luchadors approach Allen an inform him that he must don the sacred silver mask of El Santo and become the newest incarnation of the legendary luchador to entertain the masses in the ring and battle the forces of evil outside of the ring.

What a great movie!

In the sequel, THE SANTO CLAUSE 2, Allen must adopt a child to pass the mask to so that he can become El Hijo Del Santo.

[Foywonder]

Because I'm in the process of writng a column for the NOWFF site detailing some of the crappiest Christmas films ever made, but I'm trying to avoid ones that are too well known such as SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS, SANTA CLAUS (Mexican), THE GRINCH, ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS, or SANTA WITH MUSCLES (since i already lambasted that in my Hulk Hogan column).

[AndyC]

Well, I just saw Santa with Muscles. This is going to be an interesting column to write. I especially loved the way Begley needed a team of supervillains to bully a few small-town shopkeepers, and the best they could do was some less-than-impressive vandalism. And what was the deal with everybody fighting with the tools of their trade? Chef with a meat tenderizer, chauffeur with a tire iron, doctor with a stethoscope, etc.

The really funny thing was that the movie was trying to be cheesy and stupid, and managed to overdo it.