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HOLY COW (Tonight's lineup on Sci-Fi)

Started by Scott0, March 29, 2003, 04:13:22 PM

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Scott0

Has anybody else seen what's on the air today and tonight on Sci-Fi? It's a marathon of crap!! Here's what's up:

9:00 am - Mst3k "The Bat People"

11:00 am - Mystery on Monster Island

1:00 pm - Reptilicus

3:00 pm - Reptilian

5:00 pm - Primal Force

7:00 pm - Crocodile (Krocodylus)

9:00 pm - CROCODILE 2: DEATH ROLL

11:00 pm - Marabunta: Terror in Burline Pines (Legion of Fire: Killer Ants!)

This is the worst line up of movies I have seen on Sci-Fi since I saw Krocodylus and Marabunta on the same night. But today just blew that out of the water. ENJOY EVERYONE!!

Scottie

_____________
Kangaroo Jack #1 in the box office? Let the revolution against Hollywood begin.

Squishy

It was like being punched in the belly all day long.

Scott0

Ugggg. I watched Reptilian with an open mind, and got violated by that movie. After that I just couldn't take any more. That has to be one of the absolute worst movies I have ever seen. The CGI of the so-called 50x larger than T-Rex monster was so disgustingly bad, I felt shamed to even let my parents know I was watching it. Reptilicus wasn't any better. Crocodile was even worse. (I didn't know crocodile swallowed people whole). Crocodile 2 I couldn't even watch. And Marabunta I've seen before and couldn't bring myself to watch it again. You're very right Squishy.... it was like a constant punch in the gut by the entire football team.

Scottie

_____________
Kangaroo Jack #1 in the box office? Let the revolution against Hollywood begin.

Andrew

The funny problem with this movie is that, despite being able to teleport Yongary earlier, when it turns on them they have to make another monster.  Why not just teleport old Yong into Mars orbit?

Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org

systemcr4sh

I thought reptilian was really funny. It was pure insanity.

and when the shoolbus of kids are getting chased by the monster and they gap a hole in the road and they're all cheering instead of being scared I couldn't stop laughing.


-Dan

"Evil will always triumph, because good, is dumb"
-Spaceballs

"Now life's like a b-movie, That no one wants to see,
Here comes the zombie, Portraying me."
     - Dillinger Four

Squishy

Re: "Reptilian"...

When Cyker (AKA The Back-Up Monster) is sent to Earth (AKA "The City"), the resulting impact/explosion proceeds to envelop the entire area in a hellish firestorm, reducing everything but Yonggary himself to ashen wreckage. Oh, and the Ultra-Marine who was standing at his feet. Huh. Of course, he's probably wearing some sort of super-flameproof outfit, or else he would've burned his legs off with his jetpack.

It begs the question: why even bother with rebellious teenage monsters in the first place, aliens? There was no defense against the "sending" attack whatsoever, and it accomplished more destruction than the two monsters together.  And it's an oddly merciful weapon, destroying property but no lifeforms--human or monster--like a sort of reverse neutron bomb.

Forever shall I be haunted by the mystery of "What Happened To The Obnoxious Photographer Dork?" Was he taken up by the aliens for a rectal probing? Did they turn him into Cyker? Did he just walk off the set after his demand for another five bucks went unmet? The world may never know.

Aw, it ain't worth the brain usage. Just watch the final shot, and giggle until you spew. What a monster puss he turned out to be! (Deleted epilogue: on the "secluded island," cosmetic companies test their products by scrubbing mascara into the docile creature's left eye, and telephone companies test their poles by using them to pierce its right one, as it cooperatively stifles its screams of agony.)