Deathsport vs. Damnation Alley

[Gerry]

I watched both of these over the weekend.

DEATHSPORT.  Well, you know a movie is truly bad when it makes DAMNATION ALLEY look like a masterpiece.

I saw more of David Carradine's body in DEATHSPORT than I ever wanted to see.  There were some nice looking chicks in it though.

It had one of the worst 70s synthesizer scores ever, and supposedly had Jerry Garcia on guitar, but I don't remember ever hearing any guitar.  

My favorite part was the clear plastic swords that made a za-wow sound when they drew them from their scabbards.  

I must say, the motorcycle chase scenes were the most boring motorcycle chases I've ever seen.  It probably didn't help that they sounded like they had humming birds for engines.


DAMNATION ALLEY.  What can I say about this one?

Killer armored flesh-eating cockroachs devour Salt Lake City!  That was cool.

I learned that the barracks at nuclear missle launch sites are located right next to flamable gas containers, but the troops smoke there anyway, and that giant scorpions like to eat female department store mannequins.

The articulated all-terrain assault vehicles were cool, but they didn't make adequate use of the artillery.

I liked the funky glowing effects on the clouds.

The ending was pretty lame.  Kind of a Noah and the flood thing with all the world at peace.  It was too "and everyone lived happily ever after" for me.

[Chadzilla]

"Man is like a candle.  He radiates light by burning himself."  - Richard Lynch, as the Heavy, pontificating.   ?????????????????????????????????????????????  

(Educational side bar - Lynch actually set himself on fire to protest the Vietnam war.  Weird, but true.)

[Gerry]

The philosophy in that movie was definitely wacky.  

Is the Vietnam thing why Lynch's face is all pock-marked?  With burn scars?

He does make a good villain, though I liked him better in THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER.

[Chadzilla]

Correct.  Evidently Lynch was so disgusted about the war he immoliated himself, or so said Michael Berryman (Pluto in The Hills Have Eyes).  Shane Dallmann, a close writer friend of mine who regularly attends the Fangoria conventions (and is one of the driving forces behind the Flesh Eaters 2000 movie), told me that little tidbit after meeting Lynch and Berryman.  We then spent time wondering if Lynch's playing a cult leader that burns himself to death in Bad Dreams caused any flashbacks.  Creepy sh*t.

Life is just too weird, I'll stick with make believe.

[Gerry]

No @!#$.

[Gerry]

Hey, this message board just censored me!  And it wasn't even on of the biggies, just sh*t.

[Andrew]

Whoops!  The new version of Phorum (our message board) has a couple of words that it censors by default.  It took me a minute to find the file, but it's now edited and you can say "s**t" to your heart's content.

We never really have a problem with this sort of thing, so not having the filter on shouldn't be an issue.

Andrew

[Mofo Rising]

I guess that SOUTH PARK episode really was a force for social change.

[Squishy]

"Fag."

...

Oh, sh*t.

[Gerry]

Yay! s**t s**t s**t s**t s**t!

[Steve.]

Now come on Gerry - it's not clever and it's not funny - altogether now - oh yes it is!!