A date with Tad Hamilton

[Evil Matt]

Y'know, I won a date with Tad Hamilton once.  I stood him up.  When the contest providers got in touch with me to figure out why I didn't show, I said "Hell, he should feel lucky to have won a date with Evil Matt!".

And before anyone gets any crazy ideas, I was just in a really big "contest entering" phase at that point.  I was even second runner up in the Miss Arkansas pageant.  If I'd have taped my butt cheeks to my swimsuit, I think I could've taken the whole thing home.