I'm Back! (Tales of my Trip)

[Gecko Brothers]

I was on a trip recently. It was a bilingual tour bus trip to Yellowstone. We stopped at many places. First I left my home state of California and went to Las Vegas. I was sad I couldn't find Ocean(Ocean as in Ocean's Eleven) or his gang of cool thieves, but I managed to find out where all the prostitute adds came from. They are everywhere they are taped to fences, tree, shrubs, people, cars, and a cat! Then we stop at Salt Lake to see Mormons walking around their super secrect hq which about I don't, twelve stories tall!  We stopped by the capital building to look at marble structures with lemmonade. Then we went to Idaho falls got lost in Idaho bought Eric Clapton CD then left Idaho for origional destination Yellowstone. Saw Old Faithful, got attacked by elks, stood face to face by a bison, and almost threw up on the bus because of motion sickness. When we left it my question was where is the smog? This is unnatural! Then we went back to Salt Lake I saw the Morons err Mormons temple building. All I wanted to do was use the bathroom (ate bad fish sandwich) but I got stuck on a tour of the place. They showed there main building which was nothing special (a symphony hall has the same effect) then they try to force us to join their cult (they are a cult because they said they use the Bible but they require you to work for salvation which contrary and blasphemous to the Bible) I told them they were wrong on some issues they gave some stupid reasons, but they can't defend themselves. After that mess we went to the Great Salt Lake which obiviously has taken some streoids because it's shrunk and vacant. I went to the airport. They pull me, my mom, and noisy brother to side to search us because the last time I went flying was to Hong Kong and back in 1998. They searched us for conrtabands. They waved the wand around me. Some old guy was handling my legs because of the zippers on windbreakers pants (good thing I didn't have jeans) They even took my shoes for x-rays. When we got on the plane I found out that I had a compass. A really sharp compass that was bent. I managed to smuggle that on the plane even after they invade my privacy. I finally got home and now I type about my experiences.

Soap: Armed? Armed with what?
Eddie:Umm...bad breath, colorful language, a feather duster. What do you think they would be armed with, guns...

[daveblackeye15]

Cool trip man. It's a pity you couldn't find Ocean. Your searched by guards story reminds me of this one time where they checked my fannypack and found my swiss army knife inside! It was the same one I took on a camping trip and while the woman was unzipping it I just remembered "wait I think there's a swiss army knife in there" "HOLY CRAP THERE IS!" Wow you snuck a pointy compass on board. I'm impressed. Gecko Brothers Secret Agent!

[Gecko Brothers]

I am even more  supportive of John Stossel's view. Airport security should be taken care of by private companies. The government has stupid rules like if you step out of the terminal gates you have to go through security again, but before 9-11 the government allowed open copit doors and box cutters onto the plane.

Go Limited Government!

-Soap: Armed? Armed with what?
-Eddie:Umm...bad breath, colorful language, a feather duster. What do you think they would be armed with, guns...

[JohnL]

>The government has stupid rules

I like one account I read; a soldier was going through security at an airport. He set off the metal detector and they found that he had a pair of nail clippers with a pointed file. He was told that he couldn't bring it on the plane and they through it in the garbage. Then they handed him back his M16 and passed him through...