OT - Jobs with Jokes

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

This thread anticipated the news.  Once again,w e rae trendsetters:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20060504/ap_tr_ge/travel_brief_screener_humor
-Ed

[Menard]

Actually, not a joke I would hear about my job, but one I made up in self-defense to shut people up when they found out I was a vegetarian. In many situations it seems as though people often want to ask why somebody is a vegetarian (just simple curiosity). The reply " because I want to be one " often works, unless you are dealing with self-righteous morons who somehow feel that you are a sinner because you do not eat meat. Where do you find more of these morons than anywhere else? In church.


Back in the mid to late 90s, I did a number of church directories; traveling around to churches in the Midwest to do portraits  and exteriors which were then used for the church directory. The people with whom I traveled would eventually find out that I was a vegetarian; not that I hid it or anything, but it would come up at times if we went out to eat or someone went out for burgers and asked if I wanted one. Invariably, when we were in some churches (certainly this did not happen at all churches), someone would find out either through asking if someone wanted something to eat or just through conversation that I was a vegetarian. I would get approached about my vegetarianism at some churches, even to the point of being quoted (as they interpreted) scripture which supposedly condemned vegetarianism.

As arguing with someone about my eating habits was pointless (and unnecessary in the first place), I decided just to stop it before it started by making up a joke which did effectively put an end to the discussion quite often.


The joke:


Before I became a vegetarian, I was considering cannibalism.

It is documented that cannibals do consider the palm of the hand to be the tastiest part of the human body.

However, I would absolutely not partake of anybody who has ever been to a palm reader.


At this point somebody would often have a confused look on their face and ask ' why?'.


I would reply: Because I don't like read meat.

[ulthar]

Because I don't like read meat.

Ba Dum Bump.

That's pretty good, Menard.

scripture which supposedly condemned vegetarianism.

Not to start a flame war or anything, but as a "card carrying" Christian who attends church regularly, I find that to be among the stupidest things I've ever heard.  I'd sure like to know what part(s) of the Bible they use to justify that thinking.

Is it in the Old Testament where sacrifices were discussed, and presumably feasts were done with the animals sacrificed?  That's the only thing I can think of off-hand that one might TRY to stretch into scriptures condemn vegetarianism.

Oh well.

[Menard]

They primarily referenced Genesis in general, not any specific verse, and some other references from the old testament which referred to animals being put here by God for man's use, and to not use animals for that purpose was going against God's purpose.

[ulthar]

animals being put here by God for man's use, and to not use animals for that purpose was going against God's purpose.

I'm reading a book right now called "The Rapture Exposed" by Barbara Rossing in which she gives some quotes of statements made by some fundamentalists to that effect.  Rossing (a Seminary Professor) makes the case pretty strongly that that is most emphatically *NOT* Biblical.

(I'm interested in this partly because of an on-going discussion I've been having over the past several weeks on just this issue).

[LilCerberus]

I believe the First book of Daniel is pro-vegetarian.
I'll have to look it up.

"It's a shame when people use religion as an excuse to be mean to one another, especially when the hats were supposed to be green." Dave Lister

[Ash]

I do Sales Verifications for a decent sized company.
You know when you call a company and you hear, "This call may be recorded for quality and training purposes."?
Well, the company I work for records every call...and my co-workers & I have to listen to them to make sure the product and/or service is not misrepresented.
Believe me, there are about a thousand ways a rep can mess up a call.

I sit at a computer with a headset on and the screen will show the lead's name and address etc...
Occasionally, I'll get some totally hilarious names.

Just recently I had a William Buttram.
I've even seen a Richard Weed.  (AKA Dickweed)

But the best one of all was of a woman.
Her name was Rhoda Weiner.

[LilCerberus]

I once temped for a relative of mine putting labels on folders for a payroll department that was revamping their file system. I don't quite remember how it worked, but it was a color coded system that abreviated the employees names into four letters, so naturally, a few of these resulted in four letter words.

As for actuall names, my favorite was Puffenbarger.

I still think people like Richard Weed are lucky.

You should hear some of these telemarketers when they try to pronounce Algin for the first time.
"Yes, I'd like to speak with A-... uh, Ah- Allg- All-Ginn, please."
"(sigh), 'Al-Jin', (huff) speaking!"

Of course, my name has seen worst times.
When I was in kindergarden, at least one or more of the other kids couldn't pronounce my name right, and this mispronunciation somehow became the accepted means of addressing me, so until I was about nine or ten, I was Alagin.

"I tell ya', life aint easy for a boy named Sue!" - Johny Cash

At this point in my life, I've accepted that I'm Al, But I also happen to be Algin P. IV, and part of the family legacy is to assume an alias. A.P. Jr always answered to Sam, A.P. III always answered to Perry, and me, I was Rick for about eight or nine years.

Then, after my sister & her husband had their first, it dawned on me the "Uncle Al" had a certain ring to it.

So, I went back to being Al, and at this point in my life, I'm very comfortable being Al, even if their is a little Cerberus in me.

"And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him... Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!" - Johny Cash

[ulthar]

ASHTHECAT Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Her name was Rhoda Weiner.

What cruel parents.

[Shadowphile]

You want cruel parents?

A friend of mine was actually give the first name 'Baby'.  Her last name?  'Pigg'.  And they wonder why she has weight problems.

[odinn7]

ASHTHECAT Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Occasionally, I'll get some totally hilarious
> names.
>
> Just recently I had a William Buttram.
> I've even seen a Richard Weed.  (AKA Dickweed)
>
> But the best one of all was of a woman.
> Her name was Rhoda Weiner.



I need to use those names for scam baiting...I couldn't ask for better names. Thanks Ash.

[Ash]

So Odinn...
Please be so kind as to explain this "scam baiting" to us.

What exactly are you doing?

[odinn7]

Screwing with 419 scammers. It's pretty much explained here (and some fun reading too):
419eater.com

***edit- the site seems to currently be down...they get attacked quite a bit.