STARCRASH!!!

[peter johnson]

Oh, my word . . .
A reason I love this site is that the same film titles keep popping up often, so often in fact that I do occasionally get off my lazy behind and seek them out -- hmmm . . . Starcrash, you say?  Hmmm . . . must be a bad Star Wars ripoff, as the date seems right -- '70's science fiction -- Oh, well . . . give it a try . . . I mean, "How bad can it really be?" --
Oh!!  OH!!!   OOOOHHH!!
I am still reeling from the open-mouthed delivery of unrelated lines, the smirking and inappropriate smiling and misplaced emphasis on words, the "dubbed" quality, even from the allegedly English-speaking actors.  The trememdously AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL "special" effects!!
This thing just goes from worse to worse -- How can an actor overact and yet be rigid and stiff at the same time!??  You haven't seen a bad villian until you see the bad villian in this one --
Marjoe Gortner was never this awful before -- Even in Food of The Gods, you understood his role -- Not a chance of that happening here!!
Christopher Plummer must have been shot with a tranq dart and electro-shocked into consciousness and then put back under again.  If there is a God, he has no memory of this film.
And, oh my:  The spaceships -- Look around your home and see what you have lying around.  Would your dustpan, table trash, household broken appliances, etc. make good looking spaceship models?  Under NO circumstances can you answer NO!!  We will use it all for this movie!!!
Why do we do this? . . .
I guess it must be fun  . . .
peter johnson/denny MY EYES!! MY EYES!!

[Him]

I actually like Starcrash. Out of all the low budget Starwars ripoffs, Starcrash is my favorite. I'm still waiting for a fully restored print on DVD. The current DVD releases are poor quality.

[Andrew]

"Starcrash" has been a favorite of mine for a long time.  It really does have everything you could ask for.  Some big names in the cast, lunatic special effects (the lava lamp attack and all the brightly colored stars), overacting, silly plot devices, and lots of effects that are not terrible - but the plot and script are not good enough to distract you.

The brass torpedoes crashing through the plate glass window into the control room, the guys with laserguns jumping out, will always stand out.  People who watch it for the first time always have their jaw drop, despite the fact that they have already watched the movie for over and hour and should not be surprised by anything it does.

[Scott]

Saw the whole film somewhere on the internet and loved it, but would like to see it again on my television.

[peter johnson]

 
Dear Him --
so. . .  okay . . . you actually like this movie . .. . oh, well
SO DID I, THEN!!. . .
yes, yes, yes, . . .  can't upset the locals . . .
I am willing to accept your idea that this thing could be improved with a better cut, as I've seen this happen before, but GOOD GAWD, man!  Have you no . . . no . . . no, oh, what the hell,  of course I "like" it too, otherwise, why are we here?
peter jawdrop/denny whatthegoo?

[Him]

Dear Him --
so. . .  okay . . . you actually like this movie . .. . oh, well
SO DID I, THEN!!. . .
yes, yes, yes, . . .  can't upset the locals . . .
I am willing to accept your idea that this thing could be improved with a better cut, as I've seen this happen before, but GOOD GAWD, man!  Have you no . . . no . . . no, oh, what the hell,  of course I "like" it too, otherwise, why are we here?
peter jawdrop/denny whatthegoo?

I enjoy Starcrash for what it is. A low budget Starwars knockoff staring an attractive half naked woman. Sure the acting is bad, sure the special effects are bad, but they're not bad in a boring way, they are bad in an entertaining way. Sort of like watching William Hung perform.

And I think Starcrash has some interesting sci-fi ideas and it's a movie that takes risks. It doesn't play it safe like so many other space movies do (Serenity). It's also got a good musical score. So yeah, I enjoy it as a so bad it's good movie.

[Andrew]

... in an entertaining way.

Which is, ultimately, everything I ask of a movie.  You do not have to be great, break new ground, feature accomplished actors, or have amazing effects.  Just be entertaining and keep me interested, for whatever reason.

[Dr. Whom]

Aah Starcrash. I watched it again some months ago, and enjoyed it as much as the first time. The costumes, the space battles, the special effects, Caroline Munro, Imperial Battleship, stop the flow of time!

It has classic moments, such as Marjoe Gortner explaining the philosophy behind seeing in the future and not telling anyone, or his explanation why they survived the Attack of the Lava Lamp.

Still, some things keep on bugging me. Who thought that Elle is a cool name for a robot? Why does the Queen of the Amazons want to be avenged? Why are there no dinosaurs, it seems to have everything else?

[Jack]

Okay, that does it - I gotta get this DVD.  I may have seen it years ago but can't remember it.  Sounds like Buck Rogers in the 25th Century or something.

[peter johnson]

 
More like Buck Rogers at the Looney Tunes convention --
I can still hear Caroline Munro taking an inexplicable . . . pause . . . in her dialogue delivery --
peter johnson/denny crane