100 Things I Learned Watching Crank!

[BTM]

(This is all in fun, no I don't take the film THIS seriously)

100. Getting your hand sliced off, or fingers blown off only hurts for a few seconds, after that you can go about your normal daily routines.

99. Any bonehead can stand on the seat of a bike and have it drive straight on it's way for quiet some time.

98. Getting thrown from said bike into the concrete doesn't hurt, in fact, you'll be able to walk away without any broken bones.

97. Jamacian cab drivers regularly have "hardcore" drugs and will hand them out to any good tippers.

96.  Getting shot in the leg only effects for you a few scenes, then you're back to normal.

93.  Snorting cocaine for the first time has no immediate effect, you won't even get a nose bleed.

92. Nasal spray isn't just for colds!

91. Gay Mexican guys are the BEST spys/informats a hitman can have.

90. Shoving your hand in an iron won't affect your ability to handle guns, drive or anything else you want want to do.

89. Any chick will be totally up to having sex in public if you just keep after her long enough.

88. It's really easy to drive while a woman is giving you oral pleasure and you're being shot at.

87. Getting zapped with a defiberator that has enough power to throw you into the air won't have any permanent effect.  You'll lay on the ground for a bit, and then get right back up.

86.  When using a hospital gown as a disguise, go ahead and take off your underwear as well.  This adds to the believabilty of your plight.

85. Helicopters can travel several thousand miles into the air in just a few minutes.

Keep it going everyone!  :)

[Mr_Vindictive]

84.  It's amazingly easy to make a cell phone call while falling from a helicopter.

83.  One can still shoot a pistol while the previous owner's hand is still attached.

82.  A small Volkswagon can outrun a SS Impala in a car chase.

81.  Pills can cause hallucinations when talking to Japanese businessmen.

80.  It's quite easy to drive through a mall and not hit any innocent people.

[Yaddo 42]

79. People who you just pointed a gun at won't shoot you if you then pick a fight with all of them.

78. You can take an elevator to the penthouse of a highrise, have a heated argument in a pool, and make it back down to your waiting taxi in about three minutes.

77. Bullets will not penetrate more than one human body no matter what the make or caliber.

76. Crooked doctors can be really loyal friends.

75. Blond girlfriends will believe your lies and not ask too many questions until people try to kill you in her presence.

74. Running with "wood" is not that unpleasant or difficult.

Fixed mah durn spellin'.

[dean]

73.  There are many things a taxi driver will put up with.  Robberies, and crazy 'bang my head against the drivers seat constantly' are ok.  Getting inside the car when wet is not.

72.  Google Earth is a cheap and easy way of finding people.

71.  Meat Cleavers are surprisingly sharp and cut through bone in one easy swoop.

70.  Hospital Pharmacutical Assisstants are surprisingly witty.

69.  Motorcycle cops are both useless and pathetic.

68.  It's quite understandable to wonder why people are looking after you after you're getting rear ended on top of a newspaper vending machine.