Space Marines

[Dr. Whom]

After watching Doom, I started thinking about Space Marines. You gotta love them. Some trouble on a distant planet? Science project gone wrong? Mining colony not responding (except a last message ending in a horrible shriek, that is)? Send in half a dozen Space Marines, and they'll get the job done. And, after each mission there are plenty of job openings in the force.

Of course, an intervention team must be chosen with care. You'll need any or all of the following

The Chief. Your archetypical drill sergeant. Abusive veteran of a dozen wars.

The Hero. Self explanatory really. Normal Death Exemption rules apply.

The Macho Pig. Foul-mouthed and fouler-minded. Plays sadistic jokes on the rest. Perhaps a redneck. Dies in some gross way.

The Smooth Black Guy. Always wisecracking and womanizing. Has issues with authority.

The Psycho. Obsessive about cleanliness and regulation. Can strip his weapon blindfolded while hanging upside down by one foot.

The Big Black Guy. Strong and silent. Has the weapon that's too large for anyone else to carry.

The Girl. Hot but tough as nails.

The Rookie. To look scared and provide the human touch. Handy plot device because people can explain things to him.

As an extra:

The Female Scientist. The only person who knows anything about whatever it is they are investigation. Violently dislikes the military.

The above apply to ordinary Earth Marines/Special Forces as well, but you tend to encounter them more in space. Doom almost had a complete set.

My favourite Space Marine movie would be Aliens. The Award for the silliest team goes to Leprechaun 4. BTW Andrew, why stop your reviews at Leprechaun 3?

[Andrew]

My favourite Space Marine movie would be Aliens. The Award for the silliest team goes to Leprechaun 4. BTW Andrew, why stop your reviews at Leprechaun 3?

Ah, next St. Patrick's day, my friend.  Next St. Patrick's day.

There is a movie named "Space Marines."  I really should do a review of it someday.  As I remember, it's not that terrible.

[Him]

The Female Scientist. The only person who knows anything about whatever it is they are investigation. Violently dislikes the military.

and says the words "That's impossible" about 50 times through the course of the movie.

She also wears glasses and has her hair in a bun.

and of course she always falls for the hero.

[TheAtomicAndrew]

Awesome, AlexB.  There's only one to two survivors after each mission, which makes one wonder about the cost cutting measures they could make to train them.

The Smooth Black Guy. Always wisecracking and womanizing. Has issues with authority.

The Big Black Guy. Strong and silent. Has the weapon that's too large for anyone else to carry.

You'd think this would've changed since the 50's, but unfortunately one of these two (if not both) will always die, out of the handful that survive.  I may be wrong here, but the Smooth Black Guy dies because he does something stupid, and the Big Black Guy goes down sacrificing himself for the group.

[dean]

Look into my eye...

[Dr. Whom]

She also wears glasses and has her hair in a bun.

Only at the beginning of the movie. She ends up all dirty and sweaty in a tank top with her hair undone.

[AndyC]

She also wears glasses and has her hair in a bun.

Only at the beginning of the movie. She ends up all dirty and sweaty in a tank top with her hair undone.

And nobody can tell she's hot until then.

[Torgo]

Look into my eye...

[dean]

Haha, nice pic Torgo.  To this day I'm still trying to understand that line...