Best Insults

[ghouck]

"I can't go out to buy cigarettes without running into ten guys that you f**ked!"
Boondock Saints

I can't believe I forgot about that one, it's one of my favorite movies.

[Neville]

Nobody beats Bruce Willis:

"Yippee-ki-yay, motherf**ker."

"You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his f**king neck." (while beating the s**t out of a terrorist)

(From the first "Die Hard")


Alley Thug: Wrong place, wrong time. Nothing personal.

Joe Hallenbeck: That's what you think. Last night I f**ked your wife.

Alley Thug: Oh you did, hah? How'd you know it was my wife?

Joe Hallenbeck: She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' motherf**ker with a hat.

Alley Thug: Oh, you're real cool for somebody who's about to take a bullet.

Joe Hallenbeck: After f**king your wife I'll take two.

Alley Thug: All right, you want it in the chest, or the head?

Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, that's what your wife said.

Alley Thug: Hey, would you stop with the wife s**t?

Joe Hallenbeck: Ask me how fat she is.

Alley Thug: f**k you, man! How fat is she?

Joe Hallenbeck: She's so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. Motherf**ker, if you wanna f**k her you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in. Now I'm not saying she's fat, her high school picture was an aerial photograph.   


Jimmy Dix: Maybe I could take your daughter horseback riding. How old is she?

Joe Hallenbeck: She's 13, and if you even look at her funny I'm gonna shove an umbrella up your ass and open it.

(From "The Last Boy Scout", one of the most quotable films ever)