An All-Star Cast, a $60 Mill Budget and a 3 Hour Runtime... for Uwe Boll

[DistantJ]

It seems to be a common problem in Uwe Boll movies that things randomly slow down at the mid-way point.

That's really not random, that's by design.  Just about every major motion picture released nowadays does this.

Given the supposition that "we the people" have short attention spans coupled with small bladders and dry lips, this lull in the action/story is built into Act 2 for bathroom + concession stand break.

Back when movies were only 70-80 minutes long, it was less than a problem.  Now with "normal" being 90-120 minutes, that break midway is viewed by many, I suppose, as welcome.

Yeah, but in a Boll movie they tend to slow down MORE.

[Jack]

a mysterious Clint Eastwood-like hero(ine)

I'm afraid I'm going to have to respectfully disagree on the whole "Clint Eastwood-like" thing.   

[DistantJ]

a mysterious Clint Eastwood-like hero(ine)

I'm afraid I'm going to have to respectfully disagree on the whole "Clint Eastwood-like" thing.   

How so?

[Jack]

Well, with Westerns, the people involved (we're talking gunslingers) lived a very solitary existence.  They have a whole lot of time to think.  They lived out in the open country, travelling by horseback from town to town.  Might take days.  Probably didn't know anybody when they got there.  So when I see Clint, he doesn't say much, and it takes me right out of the present day and into the Wild West.  When he does say something, it's worth listening to.  He's also covered in dust, got a week's growth of beard, etc.  When he flips his poncho back to reveal his six-shooter, well, this guy's had all day every day for his whole life to practice with these things, it's gonna be exciting.  And he's never the "good guy", he's either out for personal gain or else he's taking revenge. 

The heroine in Bloodrayne 2 didn't do anything like that.  She shows up and holds a sword (which looked like chrome-plated plastic) to a guy's crotch.  Okay, mega-cheese city.  The man with no name was never ever cheesy.  She talks a lot, just like anyone in a modern day movie who's lived a life surrounded by other people.  Her clothes are clean, her hair freshly styled.  She's the heroine, she's good.  She fights the bad guys in a straightforward way, not in the way an amoral gunslinger would.  She saves the town's children from being hanged for pete's sake.  The children.  It's another cheesy situation that would never exist in a real Western. 

She's a typical heroine in a typical modern-day movie.  It's just not the same thing at all.

[DistantJ]

I don't know if Clint Eastwood's movies were even MEANT to be looked into as deeply as you just did...



But no, they are much better, but it was nice to switch off and see a badass cowboy character appear and save everybody again, whether all that stuff you listed is in there or not. I'm after a good time for my movies and I don't really need to check that there checklist when I watch a basic western.

[Kester Pelagius]

It seems to be a common problem in Uwe Boll movies that things randomly slow down at the mid-way point.

That's really not random, that's by design.  Just about every major motion picture released nowadays does this.

Given the supposition that "we the people" have short attention spans coupled with small bladders and dry lips, this lull in the action/story is built into Act 2 for bathroom + concession stand break.

Back when movies were only 70-80 minutes long, it was less than a problem.  Now with "normal" being 90-120 minutes, that break midway is viewed by many, I suppose, as welcome.

That's what the INTERMISSION is for.

Never heard of an INTERMISSION?

That's a large part of the problem with movies today.   

I now return you to your bowling bash, er, bawling ewe, uhm, bole ball. . .

[HarlotBug3]

I can only wonder how many other cashaddicts are pulling the same scheme of using bad movie investments to cheat taxes. It would explain so much.

I have not seen any of this man's films because I could smell the crap a mile away, unlike all the people who want us to value their opinion of how bad he is when they didn't have the perception to stay away in the first place.

"But my friend rented it/I watched a pirate."

Congrats.

[Jack]

But no, they are much better, but it was nice to switch off and see a badass cowboy character appear and save everybody again, whether all that stuff you listed is in there or not. I'm after a good time for my movies and I don't really need to check that there checklist when I watch a basic western.

Oh, I agree with you wholeheartedly - I'd rather watch a fun B movie any day than some overblown hollywood production.  I was mostly kidding about the Clint Eastwood thing, like, he's the god of the Western genre - you just can't go around comparing other characters to him - that's blasphemy!      

[DistantJ]

But no, they are much better, but it was nice to switch off and see a badass cowboy character appear and save everybody again, whether all that stuff you listed is in there or not. I'm after a good time for my movies and I don't really need to check that there checklist when I watch a basic western.

Oh, I agree with you wholeheartedly - I'd rather watch a fun B movie any day than some overblown hollywood production.  I was mostly kidding about the Clint Eastwood thing, like, he's the god of the Western genre - you just can't go around comparing other characters to him - that's blasphemy!      

Ah but you can note how a character reminds you of him, which can only be a good thing. Bloodrayne 2 gave me my much needed badass western fix in this day and age of whiney Kevin Costner westerns and gay cowboys bumming each other in tents.